1. Working with Emotions Adapted from L. Greenberg, 2003

2. Why Focus on Emotion? Affect is information Affect is information Affect is primary motivator of behavior Affect is primary motivator of behavior Emotions are often feared and avoided Emotions are often feared and avoided Emotional reactions learned through experience Emotional reactions learned through experience Emotional experience and reactions can be changed Emotional experience and reactions can be changed

3. Emotional Processing Not catharsis or “getting rid of” Not catharsis or “getting rid of” Allow, tolerate, accept Allow, tolerate, accept Make sense of Make sense of Transform Transform

4. What is Emotion? A relational action tendency A relational action tendency A process of meaning construction A process of meaning construction Emotions are relational action tendencies that act to establish, maintain, or disrupt our relationship with the environment in the form of a readiness to act. Emotions are relational action tendencies that act to establish, maintain, or disrupt our relationship with the environment in the form of a readiness to act. Emotions are the basis of social connectedness and constantly give us signals about our social bonds. Emotions are the basis of social connectedness and constantly give us signals about our social bonds. Emotion results from automatic appraisals of situations in relation to needs/goals/concerns Emotion results from automatic appraisals of situations in relation to needs/goals/concerns Emotion is adaptive, not rational or irrational Emotion is adaptive, not rational or irrational

5. Emotion and Reason Nothing is urgent or important in life unless and until it is brought to our attention by emotion. Nothing is urgent or important in life unless and until it is brought to our attention by emotion. Each of the emotions may be thought of as a spotlight that turns on to show us what needs cognition. Each of the emotions may be thought of as a spotlight that turns on to show us what needs cognition. Each spotlight motivates us to use our cognition differently. Each spotlight motivates us to use our cognition differently. Stimulus gets a response only if it triggers emotion. Stimulus gets a response only if it triggers emotion.

6. Emotion Schemes Represent internally our emotional reactions plus the evoking stimulus situation. Represent internally our emotional reactions plus the evoking stimulus situation. Later we represent our conceptual learning and beliefs associated with our emotional experience. Later we represent our conceptual learning and beliefs associated with our emotional experience. Results in a “high level” synthesis which when evoked provides our sense of things such as feeling unsure, confident, vulnerable, or “on top of the world.” Results in a “high level” synthesis which when evoked provides our sense of things such as feeling unsure, confident, vulnerable, or “on top of the world.”

7. Emotional Reactions Emotions tell me if things are going well for me or not Emotions tell me if things are going well for me or not Emotional reactions are learned – emotional systems are highly adaptive – can become maladaptive Emotional reactions are learned – emotional systems are highly adaptive – can become maladaptive Emotional reactions can be changed Emotional reactions can be changed

8. Emotional Processing I always have a feeling of what is happening rather I like it or not – I can choose how I attend to it. I always have a feeling of what is happening rather I like it or not – I can choose how I attend to it. How we make sense of what is going on inside of us determines who we are and how we will experience the moment How we make sense of what is going on inside of us determines who we are and how we will experience the moment How we make sense of emotions can be influenced by culture How we make sense of emotions can be influenced by culture

9. Meaning Making How we explain/describe to ourselves and others how we are feeling will influence what is going to happen and what we need How we explain/describe to ourselves and others how we are feeling will influence what is going to happen and what we need Out of our explaining process comes our articulated self beliefs & self representations – our self narratives Out of our explaining process comes our articulated self beliefs & self representations – our self narratives

10. Meaning Making Example: “I’m depressed” –I’m tired, need a break. –My life sucks, I don’t like my life or self. Depending on how you explain this internal feeling influences how you see yourself, what will happen next. Depending on how you explain this internal feeling influences how you see yourself, what will happen next.

11. Assessment Primary Primary –Adaptive or Maladaptive Secondary Secondary Instrumental Instrumental

12. Characteristics Primary Adaptive Primary Adaptive –Feel good even if not happy –Nothing that feels bad is ever the last step –First experienced in the body translated into action –Brings relief/change –Enhances self and relationships –Cues complete, full, sureness, calm, integrated, alive, clarity

13. Characteristics Primary Maladaptive Primary Maladaptive –Feels bad –Stuck –Destructive to self and others –Cues: Self pity, whining, tantrums, hysterical sobbing, ranting, false calm or overexcited.

14. Characteristics Secondary Secondary –Obscures –Reactive –Protective –Diffuse –Cues: Upset, hopeless, confused, low engery, inhibited.

15. Characteristics Instrumental Instrumental –An emotional expression used to influence others. –Learn to express emotions to get gain.

16. Emotional Functioning EmotionAdaptiveMaladaptive SadnessGrieving,Hopeless, despair, Reaching outDesperate clinging AngerEmpoweringDestructive LoveCaring, freeingAddictive, clinging AnxietySignals dangerTraumatic ShameBelong to group,Self hate, contempt Remorse Disgust/Healthy outrageSelf/other abuse Contempt

17. Emotionally Focused Intervention 1 – Bond 2 – Evoke 3 – Access Deeper Emotion Scheme 4 – Narrative Reconstruction AdaptiveMaladaptive GuideTransform

18. Interventions When we get to a maladaptive primary emotion we want to restructure it When we get to a maladaptive primary emotion we want to restructure it When we get to a secondary emotion we want to validate & explore When we get to a secondary emotion we want to validate & explore All emotions are not the same – getting in touch with just any feeling isn’t going to produce change All emotions are not the same – getting in touch with just any feeling isn’t going to produce change In touch with core fear or core shame is not productive In touch with core fear or core shame is not productive

19. Examples Client was depressed, crying & expressing sadness but also expressing anger Client was depressed, crying & expressing sadness but also expressing anger –Secondary sadness (could be instrumental) –Primary pain/anger Once we identify primary emotion we must access it to get information Once we identify primary emotion we must access it to get information –If it is adaptive then we guide –If it is maladaptive we restructure

20. Highlights Dialogue with self is not about “is it true” Dialogue with self is not about “is it true” –It is to access feelings/access the experience Need to help clients access emotion & learn how to bracket or come out of the emotion Need to help clients access emotion & learn how to bracket or come out of the emotion Practice going in and coming out to show they can do it/to help show emotions are part of life. Practice going in and coming out to show they can do it/to help show emotions are part of life.

21. Highlights We cannot take someone to an emotional place unless we have been there ourselves We cannot take someone to an emotional place unless we have been there ourselves If not we will take them there and then take them out too fast or send a message that emotions is bad or unsafe If not we will take them there and then take them out too fast or send a message that emotions is bad or unsafe “I feel like a failure, does not mean I am a failure.” “I feel like a failure, does not mean I am a failure.”