1. BELONGING TOGETHER Exploring Cross- Cultural Conflict Dr Lia Dong Shimada Superintendents’ Conference 2012

3. What are your images of conflict?

4. BELONGING TOGETHER Conflict = Difference + Tension

5. Conflict is… Normal Inevitable Potentially Helpful Transformative

6. BELONGING TOGETHER Conflict and Culture Who are you in a conflict? What shapes your response? What do you bring? What are your gifts and skills? What is your ‘baggage’?

9. BELONGING TOGETHER Some helpful tools Externalise Reframe Re-write Reflect

10. BELONGING TOGETHER Externalising “The problem is the problem” (not the person) What effect is it having? What is it costing you/us? How much power does it have over us? How is it interfering with our best intentions?

11. BELONGING TOGETHER Reframing Shift statements: Position  Issue Complaints  Requests “But”  “And” Neutralising: “It sounds like…” “I am hearing” Non-defensive responses

12. BELONGING TOGETHER Writing New Narratives How far do you think this conflict can go? Are the effects acceptable to us? What steps can we take to diminish its power? Have there been times when we have not been so captured by conflict?

13. BELONGING TOGETHER Writing New Narratives What do you want this relationship to look like? How would we handle this in our best moments? What does it mean to hear her/him/us speak with understanding? What difference does it make to be heard?

14. BELONGING TOGETHER Reflect “Reaching agreement” vs “Finding a way to go on” How has this conflict / conversation helped us to grow?