BELONGING TOGETHER Some helpful tools Externalise Reframe Re-write Reflect
BELONGING TOGETHER Externalising “The problem is the problem” (not the person) What effect is it having? What is it costing you/us? How much power does it have over us? How is it interfering with our best intentions?
BELONGING TOGETHER Reframing Shift statements: Position Issue Complaints Requests “But” “And” Neutralising: “It sounds like…” “I am hearing” Non-defensive responses
BELONGING TOGETHER Writing New Narratives How far do you think this conflict can go? Are the effects acceptable to us? What steps can we take to diminish its power? Have there been times when we have not been so captured by conflict?
BELONGING TOGETHER Writing New Narratives What do you want this relationship to look like? How would we handle this in our best moments? What does it mean to hear her/him/us speak with understanding? What difference does it make to be heard?
BELONGING TOGETHER Reflect “Reaching agreement” vs “Finding a way to go on” How has this conflict / conversation helped us to grow?