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A Personal Memoir Grade 8 English
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A Graphic Organizer Opening Sentence Something about feeling tired, looking forward to a relaxing evening on the couch Who? Me, Leigham, Jake, Edsel What? Leigham got sick in his bed/hall When? A Friday evening Where? In bed/hall/room Why? Was sick First… Putting dishes away Heard a sound like splashing water Jake called me, thought dog got sick Next… Ran upstairs to find Leigham had thrown up in bed Tried to get him to bathroom before he got sick again Didn’t make it, threw up in hall Finally… Slipped in it Leigham and I fell in it Covered in puke Spent next hour cleaning ourselves up Closing Something humorous… all I could do was laugh, comfort leigham…try to find a “lesson learned” quote to end story
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Ms. Lemire’s Memoir It was Friday night. I was just putting the dishes away from dinner when Jake yelled for me to come upstairs. He said the dog had gotten sick. When I got upstairs, I realized it wasn’t Edsel who threw up, it was Leigham. It was everywhere. I tried to get him into the bathroom before he got sick again. It didn’t happen. He threw up in the hallway. I accidentally stepped in it and fell. We both fell in the vomit. We were a mess. It took us about an hour to get everything cleaned up. Luckily, he didn’t get sick anymore.
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Diligent Drafting – How to do it right! Write on every other line Number, date, and save everything Write on one side of the paper only If you get stuck… – –Go back to your pre-writing and look for new material – –Share what you have with someone and ask for feedback – –Read your piece from the beginning. New ideas often occur to writers when they read over the entire piece. – –Put it aside and work on another piece for a while.
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Writing an Effective Lead A good lead hooks the reader. The introduction is the “make-or-break” of your story. If you don’t start with a bang, the reader may not want to read on. – –It has an immediate impact! – –It hints at the topic! – –It makes the reader want to read on!
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Leads to Avoid The “telephone call” lead – –Hi! My name is Steve. Blah, blah, blah… The completely unnecessary beginning – –In this paper, I will be telling you about blah, blah, blah… The “non-beginning” beginning – –Once upon a time, blah, blah, blah.. – –One time, blah, blah, blah…
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Narrative Leads Typical Action – –A Main Character Doing Something Dialogue – – A Character or Characters Speaking Reaction – – A Character Thinking
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Ms. Lemire’s Lead It was Friday night. I was just putting the dishes away from dinner when Jake yelled for me to come upstairs. Action: I was just putting away the last of the dishes from our Friday night dinner. I was humming along to the song playing on the radio, thinking about how much I was looking forward to spending the evening relaxing on the couch. I was just about to hang the tea-towel on the hook when I heard a noise that sounded like a bucket of water splashing all over the floor.
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Ms. Lemire’s Lead Continues It was Friday night. I was just putting the dishes away from dinner when Jake yelled for me to come upstairs. Dialogue: “Hon, can you come up here,” I heard Jake yelling from the bathroom upstairs. “I think the dog just threw up all over the hall floor.” “OK,” I yelled back. “I’ll be right there!” But as I turned to go upstairs, I saw Edsel, our family pet, out of the corner of my eye, sleeping soundly on his bed next to the table.
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Ms. Lemire’s Lead Continues It was Friday night. I was just putting the dishes away from dinner when Jake yelled for me to come upstairs. Reaction: I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so tired. I was thinking about how good the soft couch was going to feel on this cold, blustery night. That’s when I heard a splashing sound. What on earth could that have been? Oh, it’s probably nothing, I thought. I must be hearing things. Geez, I really am tired. Just as I started to imagine my relaxing, calm evening that lay ahead, the sound of Jakes voice interrupted my thoughts. “Heidi, can you get up here? I think the dog puked in the hallway!”
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What Lead will YOU Choose? Typical Typical Action Action –A Main Character Doing Something Dialogue Dialogue –A Character or Characters Speaking Reaction Reaction –A Character Thinking
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