1. * What we have for the parents with children in religious ed or the school Great Expectations * With apologies to Mr Dickens.

2. The Vital Role of Parents Coaching parents A plan to have much higher expectations of our parents www.PastoralPlanning.com

3. Goals in this presentation A conversation about the role of parents What should it be? What doesn’t that always happen? How we can coach parents to play a greater role with their children www.PastoralPlanning.com

4. My Question for YOU: As a parent, what role do you want to play in the faith formation of your children? www.PastoralPlanning.com

5. We know More than 90% of adult Catholics are active today because their parents were active only about 10% come to the church as adults What does this tell us? Parents, you play THE vital role! www.PastoralPlanning.com

6. Principle We cannot succeed in faith formation without you parents in the picture. You form your kids “informally” at home YOU are the ones with influence… In the good old days… www.PastoralPlanning.com

7. A timeline to help until 1960 Formation in the home Mass every week Feasts & Seasons Fasting & abstinence Confession Catholic Schools & the Sisters! RE filled in a tiny gap

8. A timeline to help until 19601960-70s The old “Catholic culture” ended Television & media Huge cultural shift in West At Mass less often Religious Ed: bigger gap to fill www.PastoralPlanning.com

9. A timeline to help until 19601960-70s1980-90s Religion classes at parish or in school …with the parents mainly absent Participation in Sunday Mass on the decline Home life more secular & media oriented Religious Ed: HUGE gap to fill www.PastoralPlanning.com

10. A timeline to help until 19601960-70s1980-90sToday Bringing parents into the learning circle is key by coaching you to form your own kids What we do now is substitute a catechist or school teacher for the work that must be done by you as parents You can no longer stand on the sidelines

11. The outcome of this: The passing of faith from Generation to Generation has slowed down or stopped. Parents tend to remain absent… as long as we agree to do it for you. www.PastoralPlanning.com

12. Two groups of parents #1 Deeply engaged Active in parish life At Mass every week Household of faith #2 On the edge of the parish Show up when the kids need it Very tentative about faith Religion not central in life www.PastoralPlanning.com

13. These two groups The engaged – only about 16-20% Still reluctant about formation for their own kids Believes this is the job of the parish The unengaged – nearly 80-85% Some are hungry for more But many are distracted so they don’t even feel the ache or longing… These are the ones we must love the most www.PastoralPlanning.com

14. A test Catechism of the Catholic Church “Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children” (CCC #2223). Vatican II “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute” (Declaration on Christian Education, #3). www.PastoralPlanning.com

15. A test General Directory for Catechesis “Parents are the primary educators in the faith” (GDC, #255). The Rite of Baptism “You are accepting the responsibility of training [this child] in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring [this child] up to keep God’s commandments…” (Rite of Baptism, #77) www.PastoralPlanning.com

16. A test Who do most parents think is responsible for the religious education of their children? Who do we at the parish think is responsible?

17. From the GDC #226 The religious awakening which takes place in the home during childhood is, simply, irreplaceable General Directory for Catechesis www.PastoralPlanning.com

18. From the GDC #227 The local parish must, therefore, help parents by whatever means works best, to prepare for and assume their responsibility, of educating their own children in the faith. General Directory for Catechesis www.PastoralPlanning.com

19. Many parents Feel un-equipped Don’t know your own faith Haven’t got the fire of faith in your own hearts So you drop your child at the parish And do something else while you wait www.PastoralPlanning.com

20. And we at the parish We accept these children And we do a pretty good job But we will always be only the substitutes Parents form their own kids, even if they don’t take an active role www.PastoralPlanning.com

21. Conversation What do you hear in all of this? What strikes you about it?

22. Going forward… What does this mean? How do we help parents? www.PastoralPlanning.com

23. Coaching Parents A new form of religious education One where parents take the lead With their children If parents can’t… Grandparents Older youth or others from the parish The parents are the teachers. www.PastoralPlanning.com

24. Coach your parents. We want to coach you parents to form your own children You parents will also grow in your faith We can’t just “send home a book” You parents don’t respond to books It’s not community based www.PastoralPlanning.com

25. Coach

26. What should we call this? The language of “coaching” is Not threatening Understandable It’s a “relationship” word: “You aren’t in this alone. We’re here with you. But this is your responsibility…” www.PastoralPlanning.com

27. To succeed You need 3 things: #1 Leadership & vision to see the whole picture of what it takes to grow up Catholic #2 A Parent-friendly resource #3 Motivate the parents to jump in www.PastoralPlanning.com

28. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Prep for Confirmation and First Communion Key years after the First Sacraments Confirmation Prep or Youth Ministry

29. Coaching young parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism A dual approach One avenue for parents who are active and engaged Another for those who are on the edge of parish life and faith These live in a “Catholic” home Baptism prep materials from a Catholic publisher are usually enough The goal here is: Evangelization Instead of the usual three night prep process, a three session retreat-like experience

30. I Claim You for Christ One example of a retreat-like process Three sessions Journey of Faith from their own baptism to the present moment Dying in Christ – Reconciliation Living in Community – Eucharist A covenant about raising their kids in faith www.PastoralPlanning.com

31. Here’s what it looks like Found on the web site An eResource www.PastoralPlanning.com

32. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Post-baptism care Who stays in touch? Again, a dual approach More for those who are not engaged than for those who are

33. Entrusted to Your Care One example of a method for staying in touch eResource Reproducible Letters, e-mail, calendars, invitations, & prayers The key: Stay in touch Relationship! www.PastoralPlanning.com Who’s got time for this?

34. Here’s what it looks like Found on the web site An eResource www.PastoralPlanning.com

35. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Prep for early Sacraments An ideal time to launch coaching Parents expect to be more involved Parents & kids attend together They work as a family through the lesson.

36. Here’s one example: from Growing Up Catholic Sacrament Prep Coaching Notes are all ready to use www.PastoralPlanning.com

37. Growing Up Catholic Parents and children sit together A strong resource is on the table A Catechist leads the process People called “floaters” are available keeping an eye out for parent needs Here’s a picture of the room: www.PastoralPlanning.com

38. Prayer Table Food Supplies

39. 1 The purpose of exercise is to understand & pray the Our Father. 2 First, read through the words of the Our Father with them. Read one line and invite your child to repeat it after you. Your child should know this prayer by heart. Affirm your child often as he or she learns. 3 Then help your child find the correct meaning of each phrase of this prayer. Draw a line to that. We have given you two clues to get you started. Here’s the key: 1 = 4 2 = 8 3 = 1 (given) 4 = 7 (given) 5 = 2 6 = 5 7 = 3 8 = 9 9 = 6 10=10

40. Creating the Resource Number the steps Give the answers in a key Do this in a parish gathering Make it interesting and fun You will discover something: Parents want to do this. www.PastoralPlanning.com

41. 1 We will now read about how Jesus is our friend, just as a shepherd is to his sheep. Begin by showing your child a Bible. Open it to show them this passage. 2 Tell them that we are going to read this story in words that we understand better. 3 Then close the Bible and ask them to read this passage aloud. Help them when needed. Ask your child to retell this story in his or her own words.

42. 4 Time for a break! Help your child enjoy coloring this image of Jesus and the children. Coloring time is a good time to be close to your child without necessarily talking about faith. Don’t be afraid to put your arm around your child during this time. 5 Your child may not be familiar with what shepherds do. Explain that they look after their sheep with tenderness and love. Jesus watches over us that way. We are teaching the parents the vocabulary of both love and faith at the same time.

43. For busy parents One fold fliers You get the PDF and print your own copies Used to encourage parents to insert a sacred moment in the busy-ness of life Idea #3

44. Handouts for Busy Parents Faith on the Run Parables on the Run Miracles on the Run Sacraments on the Run Liturgical Seasons on the Run Tidbits from the Table Theological topics that can be tough to explain

45. How often? For the First Sacraments Maybe all sessions Or at least MOST sessions For Middle Elem Years Once per unit in the textbook? Or at least 3 times per year Autumn, Advent and Lent www.PastoralPlanning.com

46. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Prep for Penance and First Communion Key years after the First Sacraments

47. Middle primary years Learning Centers for Parents While your children are in class Age appropriate skills for talking about faith Plus “theological” background Plus seasonal stuff Whole Family Catechesis Just like Sac Prep Parents and children work together You learn together about the topic and actually go through a lesson And you take home what you did Two Options

48. Themes for Middle primary years Our Hunger for God Revelation Trinity Jesus Christ The Church Morality Sacraments The Kingdom of God Scripture Prayer Social Teachings The Mass Also coming soon: Stewardship Catholic Virtues & Values www.PastoralPlanning.com

49. Here’s what it looks like Found on the web site eResources www.PastoralPlanning.com

50. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Confirmation years or Youth Ministry Prep for Penance and First Communion Key years after the First Sacraments

51. Mini-Courses How do they work? Parents and youth sit together Use a strong resource Pray as one whole group Then move to “active learning” With a strong way of teaching “Learn & Teach” www.ThePastoralCenter.com Idea #1

52. Learn & Teach Break the material into small chunks and assign each to a small group The group draws out the major points Creates a one-page flip chart sheet on them which will be presented to all And prepares one of the points for dialogue in dyads in the larger group They learn by teaching www.PastoralPlanning.com

53. Here’s one example Growing Faith Mini- Courses Short, defined areas of study Combined with faith sharing Usually 6 to 10 sessions per Mini-Course For example: What Does God Want? Living the Commandments www.PastoralPlanning.com 48 Study Guides for Learn & Teach are all FREE Growing Faith  The whole Catechism  In Plain English  In 48 booklets  8 pages each  Fully illustrated  Each following one topic of the CCC  Has an Imprimatur

54. Come to the Table Reproducible eResource Makes it very affordable Ideal for confirmation or youth because of the pedagogy within it Treats 7 topics Does so in a participatory way Parents and youth work together Idea #2

55. The 7 topics Basic Catholic Beliefs that Guide your Life Discovering how Christ is present in Liturgy The Amazing Gift of Prayer Learning to Recognize How God Speaks to us in Scripture

56. The 7 topics Learning about the Mystery of God in the Trinity Living a Deeply Fulfilled Moral Life Understanding how we are the People of God

57. Come to the Table People just love it! The meetings require very little preparation beforehand There are no books! Our research shows… The materials are reproducible And they can also be sent via email

58. Leaders are trained The leader guide Step by step Online training on how to work with a small group – all free Participant worksheets Kept short on purpose The process is the key

59. The process Everyone takes part Go around the circle reading aloud the “faith statements” Rehearsal for speaking of faith Saying the words aloud implants them Pause and go around again having a “conversation about faith” At the end, make a commitment

60. Coaching Parents www.PastoralPlanning.com Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Confirmation years or Youth Ministry Prep for Penance and First Communion Key years after the First Sacraments

61. To succeed You need 3 things: #1 Leadership & vision to go forward under this plan #2 A Parent-friendly resource #3 Motivate the parents to jump in www.PastoralPlanning.com

62. Marketing Try this: “In today’s world, a lot of people are talking to your children about God… …Shouldn’t you be one of them? Come to St Mary’s – we’ll show you how.” Or this: “Give your child what really matters: Share your Catholic faith. Come to St Mary’s – we’ll show you how.” www.PastoralPlanning.com

63. Marketing Don’t be tentative! We’d really like it if you’d take part, but of course, you don’t really have to… We don’t want to make you mad or anything, but this is really your job…but of course, we’ll do it for you if you don’t want to… You get lackluster results. www.PastoralPlanning.com

64. Marketing Personal invitations Coming from other parents Changing the ground over time so all will expect to be involved in the on- going formation of their children Welcome all to Sunday Mass, Regardless their situation in life

65. Thank you For what you do in your parishes For being here today For taking on this new mission Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful enkindle in us the FIRE of your love! www.PastoralPlanning.com