1. Managing Work Relationships
LEADER’S GUIDE
(1 minute)
1. Introduce yourself
Work experience
Name and contact information for your organization
Professional Credentials
2. Introduce Topic
Welcome to Developing and Maintaining Healthy Interpersonal Relationships: How Are Your Relationship Bank Accounts?
Explain the seminar is sponsored by Compaq U.S. Benefits and WorkLife Resources.
With April 15th being income tax deadline, money/bank accounts are the theme for this class since many of us are thinking about $$$ this month.
All material is included in your Participant’s Guide--all the overhead points with speaker’s notes, quotes, plus supplemental material.
During class, we will discuss pages 2-9 in your Participant’s Guide (Handouts #1-7). All the rest is additional information, tips and exercises for review at your convenience. Class will be held until ____. In case you need to leave before that time, please place your completed evaluations _______.

2. PURPOSE Personal support and improvement
Continuous Quality Improvement
Improving the end product/result by improving the process
Enhancing work relationships
“Continuing Education”
Information for specific situations
Information generalized to life experiences

3. OUTLINE Overview: Two Sides of the Same Coin
Understanding and Appreciating Diversity
Role of Respect: “Living” the Virtue
Communication Skills: More Than Talk
Privilege versus Right: Similar but Different
Boundaries: Knowing/Respecting Limits
Personal Responsibility: Employee
Corporate Responsibility: Management

4. OVERVIEW Human Side Business Side Individual identity Personal goals
Personal needs
Developing abilities and talents
Personal role in a community
“What’s in it for me”
Business Side
Corporate identity
Corporate goals
Corporate needs
Supporting and affirming staff growth
Creating a community environment
“What’s in it for us”

5. DIVERSITY “The cure for boredom.”
Definition: “Differing from one another”
Examples
Critical element for fostering team work and team effectiveness
The whole is bigger than the parts: it all adds up
Making the most out of conflicts and differences

6. DIVERSITY (continued)
Advantages
Adds variety to life
More sources of learning and experience
Stimulates and helps eliminate boredom
Helps me look at the world around me more realistically
Challenges
Forces me to be open and flexible
Requires me to be secure in myself and possibly change
Asks me to look beyond myself and what is comfortable for me

7. R.E.S.P.E.C.T Regard: knowing who I’m dealing with
Empathy: what if I were you
Sincerity: how bad/good I really am
Patience: when life doesn’t go my way
Embracement: how big/small I really am
Courtesy: are my manners showing
Tolerance: how insecure/secure I really am

8. COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Definition: “A process by which information is exchanged”… “A learned power of doing something; a developed ability”
The Art of Communication
It’s not all talk
Healing versus Hurting
“Give and Take” of Communication

9. Habits of Effective People
Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Stephen Covey from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
(10 minutes--Overheads 10-12)
This slide is used to reinforce point #1, of Ways to Make Major Deposits - Building Healthy Interpersonal Relationships.

10. Listening (7 minutes-Overheads 13 and 14) 8. Exercise: Listening
Have participants look at page 7 of their Participant’s Guide (Handout #5) and review important points about the value of listening, the levels of listening, empathic responses, and helpful phrases to acknowledge understanding.
Exercise: Have participants get into pairs -- one talker and one listener. For about two minutes, the sender discusses the last time he or she was angry (or happy or just had strong emotions.) The listener is to paraphrase and try to identify the feelings of the sender. After about two minutes, change roles and continue this exercise for another two minutes.
At the end of the exercise, discuss how it went.
“How does it feel to have someone trying to really listen and understand?”

11. COMMUNICATION SKILLS We have been given two ears and one mouth.
We should listen twice as much as we talk!
Ancient Proverb
Reminder for participants: Listening is a powerful gift and can be freely given.
Point out words on this overhead and emphasize the importance of practicing good listening skills - the best method for making major deposits in any relationship bank account.

12. Communication Skills “I” Messages
Describes objectively how you feel.
Focuses on your feelings.
Does not assign blame.
Specific behavior is described.
Non-verbal elements such as tone of voice and body language are critical.
Requires a non-judgmental attitude.
Can include a state of change and consequence.

13. How Do You Come Across? 55%--Body
Body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, use of space, movements
38%--Voice
Tone, pitch, rate, volume
07%--Word
Actual words spoken
This Overhead is used to illustrate point #7 - Barriers to Effective Communication.
Show Overhead #8, Communication pie graph and emphasize the importance of body language and voice.
Exercise: Have participants say “good afternoon” three times:
1. With a frown, squeezing their eyebrows together
2. With a neutral face, stone face, hardly moving upper lip
3. With a big smile and “happy eyes”
Body language usually affects the tone of voice.

14. Ten Rules for Effective Communication
Put your needs and emotions aside initially: “give peace a chance”
Watch your tone of voice and body language: “how you come across”
Actively listening: “be in the moment”
Blend: “come in from the cold”
Reflectively listening: “when the ball is in your court”
Identify positive intent: “giving the benefit of the doubt”
Ask clarifying questions: “when in doubt, ASK”
Redirect: “keeping the volley going”
Tactfully interrupt: “saving face”
Summarize and confirm: “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”

15. RIGHT versus PRIVILEGE
Definition: “Those things to which I have a just claim”
Examples
Balancing my rights with those of others
Protecting my rights because they can be lost: how rights relate to privileges
Definition: “A right granted as a peculiar benefit”
Examples
Using my privileges wisely
Protecting and honoring privileges to preserve my rights

16. BOUNDARIES Definition: “Something that indicates or fixes a limit”
The purpose of boundaries
“Good fences make good neighbors”
Every fence needs a gate
Examples of boundaries
When boundaries are violated
Boundary Rule: “Does it belong to me or does it belong to someone else.”

17. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
Example: “Wayne’s World”
Taking care of myself
Fulfilling personal responsibilities
Knowing my place
Being true to myself: “individual strength”
Being true to others: “interwoven strength”
Keeping perspective and remembering the big picture

18. CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY
Remember the Mission
“If it doesn’t contribute to the mission, it doesn’t belong”
Don’t take it personal
Delegated responsibility
Remember the role
The purpose of entrusted responsibility
Protect against “vandalism”
Being the coach

19. If it’s to be, It’s up to me!
CREATE A PERSONAL ACTION PLAN TO IMPROVE WORK RELATIONSHIP
If it’s to be, It’s up to me!
(1 minute)
Remember:
It’s just as important to know the balance in your relationship bank accounts as it is to know your actual checking and savings account balances.
Use the skills you have identified. Think about your Action Plan.
Start practicing today!
Commit yourself to improving the account balances of your interpersonal relationships. Take the first step - Overhead 18.
Reference supplemental material (pages in Participants’ Guide) if time allows.
Point out page 18 of the Participant’s Guide, Resources and Suggested Readings.
(3 minutes)
Highlight the EAP and WorkLife Resources programs and give contact information.
Make available WorkLife Resources Directory of Services and EAP materials.
“Thanks for coming.”
(5 minutes)
Have participants complete evaluations.