Love is a positive force directed towards the growth in maturity as persons
DEVELOPMENT From Birth to 3 Months babies actively learn about themselves and the people around them From 3 to 6 Months Social interaction becomes increasingly important. From 6 to 9 Months Express their emotions e.g. happiness, sadness, fear, and anger From 9 to 12 Months . Self-regulation and expression of anxiety when separated from parents or caregivers
From 1 to 2 Years Recognize their own image in the mirror Express negative emotions including anger and frustration Become more self-assertive and may try to direct the actions of others
3-4YEARS Sense of confidence and independence becomes more pronounced Follow directions Share toys with others Make up games and ask other children to join in They know their gender Begin engaging in pretend playpretend play
FAMILY MATTER The WHO report notes that the family: Provides support and love; Promotes moral development and a sense of responsibility; Provides role models and education about culture; Sets expectations; Negotiates for services and opportunities; Filters out or counteracts harmful or inconsistent influences from the social environment.
Reduce reading capacity Not able to differentiate fantasy from reality Desensitization to violence and human suffering More frightened and upset causing bad dreams and anxiety Reduces inhibitions and leads to more aggressive behavior Bedroom TV Makes Kids Emotionally Numb
FAMILY CONFLICTS Ongoing conflict at home has a great impact on the child Family conflicts linked to lower self-esteem among children especially adolescents. In a study of 6-18- year-olds, parents' report of conflict at home were associated with children's self-reported aggression Brown, & Searight, 1991; Kurdek & Sinclair,1988; Mechanic & Hansell, 1989; Slater & Haber, 1984).
FAMILY CONFLICTS Parents in an unhappy marriage may: become withdrawn or hostile towards their children, lack of warmth, rejection, and emotional withdrawal They may attempt to gain the alliance of the child against the other parent. Spread of marital conflict to the parent- child relationship (Belsky, 1985; Burman, John, & Margolin, 1987; Conger et al., 1992; Fauber, Forehand, Thomas, & Wierson, 1990; Peterson & Zill, 1986; Tschann, Johnston, Kline, & Wallerstein, 198
FATHERS Lack of regular contact with a father may take a particular emotional and developmental toll on sons. “ The loss of a male role model for the boys may seriously impact their well-being, A positive father figure is very important for young men and boys, to develop their gender identity and learn ways to regulate their emotions and enhance their mental health.”
DIVORCE Serious thoughts of suicide affect some boys Boys may also be more likely to clam up and internalize their grief, whereas girls are more likely to “talk it out” Men, in general, are reluctant to reach out for help
SONS AND DIVORCE They are also more prone to drug abuse, which is linked with suicidal feelings. Mom encourages more expression of emotions and closeness, that contradicts the message they’re getting from society as a whole, that ‘you should be able to handle this on your own.’ Even when other stressors were factored in, men whose parents had divorced were 2.3 times as likely to say they had seriously considered suicide.
CHILDREN OF DIVORCED COUPLES In spite of the best intentions, the predictions for the future marital lives of these children are ominous. These children are 50% as likely to divorce as are children from intact families. And if the divorce rate keeps up generation after generation, everybody will be doing it Divorce will always be stressful and especially to the children
CHLDREN OF DIVORCED COUPLES While many girls seem quite determined to overcome the legacies of their parents' divorces and to make their own future marriages work, boys seem more apprehensive. boys exposed to family violence in their childhoods are far more likely than girls to become violent themselves in adulthood, divorce seems to leave just as lasting an imprint . ''I'll probably grow up and get married and have babies and then I'll get divorced,'' says one 9-year-old matter-of- factly. ''Everybody does.'' Other boys have abandoned the idea of marriage altogether, at least for the bitter present. ''I don't see marriage for me. No way”, says Jamie firmly. ''I no longer believe in commitment.''
There’s evidence to demonstrated that, families,and schools play essential roles in determining individual adolescent health outcomes Parents’ roles can be organized into five dimensions, each of which has specific influences on adolescent health outcomes. “FAMILIES MATTER.”
“FAMILIES MATTER CONT……...” Connection – love -A positive, stable, emotional bond between parents and adolescents is an important protective factor for adolescent heath and development. What about physical availability of the parent ?
“ FAMILIES MATTER CONT ……...” Behaviour control – limit (? Tough love) -Behaviour control involves behavioural rules and consequences for misbehaviour, and conveying clear expectations for behaviour.
Respect for individuality -Respect for individuality involves allowing the adolescent to develop a healthy sense of self, apart from his or her parents Modelling of appropriate behaviour -The concept of “social norms” - behaviour and attitudes as well as interpreting the norms of the larger society. “FAMILIES MATTER CONT……...”
Provision and protection -Provision of the resources that they can, and seeking out resources when they cannot. -Support, guidance, information and opportunities that adolescents need to fulfill adult roles. “FAMILIES MATTER CONT……...”
The birth of the "bad attitude" positive energy to do anything has been drained away. lay around and complain about having nothing to do suggestion of work that needs doing: "Oh, leave me alone, you don't understand, I'm too tired!“ Then a friend calls and he's out the door.
Negative energy begins to build He's critical of positive suggestions, of family activities, of other members of the family, and of what parents often don't see- critical of himself: "I hate being just a child!"
he is rejecting the child he was, rejecting himself, angry at that rejection, he turns anger at self-rejection into criticism of those around him. What particularly attracts his anger are parental demands and limits, rules and restraints, which now stand in the way of the increased freedom he wants
early adolescent is developmentally dissatisfied. He doesn't want to be defined and treated as a child anymore
WHO WILL HELP OUR KENYAN FAMILIES? IMF? FM RADIOS? THE CHURCH? SCHOOLS MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT? WHO? PSI?
CONCLUSION A fourth-grade girl wrote about her father, “my dad treats my mom very well, which makes me feel wanted.” Daily expressions of affection between the couple will do wonders for their family and the children also pick up on it. If the atmosphere of the marriage is distrust or anger, then that mood will permeate the entire family. If the atmosphere of the marriage is non-communication, the children get used to silence and foreboding. On the other hand, if the atmosphere of the marriage is love, the whole family will absorb that love. Words and deeds that demonstrate love for MUM/DAD provide children with convincing proof that the foundation of their lives – Family commitment – is not going to shake, buckle and split apart. When Dad loves Mom, all is well in the universe. One of the greatest legacies a parent can leave for the children (and yet-unborn grandchildren) is the firm belief that marriage is not to be taken lightly. It’s worth their commitment, and worth sticking it out through the tough times, they need to be shown that to create a healthy nation.