1. Universal Enhancement Nurturing the Development of Young Children with Developmental Disabilities: From Birth to Age 5 by Tom Pomeranz, Ed.D. “We learn what we live.”

2. Universal Enhancement People’s Care Autism Services Nurturing the Development of Young Children with Autism and other Developmental Disabilities by Thomas Pomeranz, Ed.D. January 24, 2015

3. Universal Enhancement It Takes More When I hear a parent say “I so deeply love my children”, my first thought is … …your love is not enough!

4. Universal Enhancement It’s Not A Magical Process...

5. Universal Enhancement It’s a Struggle

6. Universal Enhancement THIS IS MORE ABOUT US THAN THEM

7. Universal Enhancement Good Intentions We are good and caring parents! We are not : malevolent mean spirited vitriolic vindictive When we are not supportive in helping our children in getting a life, it may be caused by our

8. Universal Enhancement Wishes Treat children not as they are, but how they wish to be. Speak to those who do not talk Smile at those with flat affect Engage the eyes of those who look away Support participation in those who are idle Nurture sense of self in those who lack self esteem

9. Universal Enhancement Possible Explanations There are three possible explanations as to why children engage in interfering behavior: 1.Ineffective parenting 2.Diagnosable condition (e.g. autism, FAS, TBI) 3. The child is EVIL It is my professional opinion that only 1 or 2 of the above are the cause!

10. Universal Enhancement More Than Luck A well behaved child is not the result of luck.

11. Universal Enhancement Parenting Motto The foundation for effective parenting is: Yes is Yes and No is No This builds a parent-child relationship of TRUST! I am not going to tell you again, you need to stay out of the way! That means he’ll tell me at least two more times.

12. Universal Enhancement Trigger Words No! I am not telling you again! No candy! I want candy! I said, no candy now dear. Please, please can I have candy? Candy, candy, candy!!! No candy, no candy, no candy!!! Stop with the trigger word! Intelligently redirect. Honey, you can’t have candy now. Mommy, I want candy.

13. Universal Enhancement If You Make It a Struggle… What alternative response might this parent make to their child’s expression of anger? I am not going to tell you again, get up NOW! I am sending you to your room! Leave me alone!...we all lose!

14. Universal Enhancement Three I’s Natural Consequences should be: Immediate Intense Impersonal Natural consequences should be: Immediate Intense Impersonal

15. Universal Enhancement Self-Esteem Parents influence their child’s self-esteem more than anyone. Accept them for who they are Encourage their talents Praise their accomplishments Show a sincere interest in their daily life

16. Universal Enhancement Self-Esteem (cont’d) Encourage age-appropriate independence Use constructive discipline Appreciate their uniqueness Help them develop healthy peer relationships Respect their child’s views and opinions

17. Universal Enhancement Enhance Self Nurture a sense of self in the child with a disability; Celebrate their gifts Celebrate their efforts Support inclusionary opportunities Provide age appropriate items and experiences Assure they are stylish for their age

18. Universal Enhancement Successful Parents… Have a game plan Have proactive strategies for managing tantrums Learn from their children Are consistent Say what they mean and mean what they say

19. Universal Enhancement Each Is Different Autism is like snowflakes; no two are alike.

20. Universal Enhancement Autism: A Chameleon Autism is like a chameleon – continually altering its signs and symptoms Autism can look like: Intermittent Explosive Disorder Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Bi-polar Disorder Oppositional Defiant Disorder Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Intellectual Disability Stereotypic Movement Disorder

21. Universal Enhancement Autism Spectrum Disorder Reclusive Hypersensitive to touch Ritualistic Difficulty in transitioning Obsessive Frenetic Stereotypical Echolalia Diverts eyes Flat vocal intonation Savant abilities Self-injurious What do these traits have to do with intellectual disabilities? If it looks, smells and feels like a, it probably is a !

22. Universal Enhancement Spectrum Disorder This variance in symptoms has historically made the diagnosis of autism allusive: Mute Incessant talking Speaking Reclusive Socially intrusive Interaction Hyper-sensitiveHypo-sensitive Sound Hyper-sensitiveHypo-sensitive Light

23. Universal Enhancement Spectrum Disorder (cont’d) Movement Sedentary Frenetic Eye contact AvoidanceStares Intelligence Challenged Gifted Affect FlatExpressive

24. Universal Enhancement Spectrum Disorder (cont’d) Attention span Easily distracted Highly attentive Touch AversiveNeedy Each of these characteristics are independent of each other!

25. Universal Enhancement Diagnostic Overshadowing Overshadowing occurs when one diagnosis stops another from being seen or diagnosed. The symptoms are attributed to the existing diagnosis. This may lead to the illness(es) and/or condition(s) being missed.

26. Universal Enhancement Who Am I? A child raised knowing and celebrating who they are: boy or girl, Jew or Baptist, Latino or Armenian, African American or Asian, a child with a disability – Will likely grow to be an adult comfortable in their own skin – who they are! Why would one raising a child wish to withhold this information?

27. Universal Enhancement The Unspeakable RESPECTING our children necessitates “revealing” the unspeakable: “You have a disability.” How can this be communicated compassionately, empathetically and sensitively? The Who, When, Where, How, What must be given careful consideration when informing your child.

28. Universal Enhancement Shame Though adopted, your parents never told you. Throughout your childhood you wondered why you did not resemble your parents or siblings. You asked your parents why you had red hair and green eyes and they shrugged their shoulders. When you were 22, your great aunt let the secret slip. How would you feel about being adopted if they had not told you?

29. Universal Enhancement Shame (cont’d) Though you have a disability, your parent’s never told you. Throughout childhood you wondered why you were in special education but your siblings were not. You asked your parents why your siblings were in regular classes and you were not, they said you had some learning issues. At the age of 22, your great uncle let the secret slip. How would you feel about having a disability if they had never told you?

30. Universal Enhancement Logical How can a child have a life if they don’t participate in it?

31. Universal Enhancement Chicken Or The Egg? To do for nurtures dependency; dependency nurtures to do for.

32. Universal Enhancement Age Influenced Our routines are primarily influenced by our age – so it should be for individuals with disabilities. Age 3 – flush the toilet Age 7 – get the mail Age 10 – take out the trash Age 15 – mow the lawn Age 20 – change the furnace filter

33. Universal Enhancement When Is Less More? Assisting children only when necessary, is the most effective support. Less is More! =

34. Universal Enhancement Taking Advantage Don’t let the child you support take advantage of you by saying- I don’t know how! Will you do it for me? I’m tired! I don’t want to!

35. Universal Enhancement Life’s Struggle Conquering our struggles is empowering. The ATM machine ate your card You can’t find the remote The new software won’t download The oven’s pilot light won’t ignite The toilet won’t stop running You can’t close the flue in the fireplace Confidence and competence are realized when meeting the challenge of a struggle.

36. Universal Enhancement The Right To Struggle It is through “the struggle” that children grow and learn. When the child conquers their struggles their sense of self is enhanced. Here, let me help you with that.

37. Universal Enhancement Involve Me

38. Universal Enhancement Passive Participation The participation of some children may be passive: Having a presence Listening

39. Universal Enhancement Think Out Loud Make an effort to talk with children who do not speak. Thinking out loud: Bob it really looks like a beautiful day today.  Facilitates verbal skills  Encourages bonding  Demonstrates courtesy  Values the child

40. Universal Enhancement Passive Participation The participation of some children may be passive: Having a presence Listening Observing Fleeting engagement Start Low – Go Slow!

41. Universal Enhancement Intermittent Participation Some children’s participation may be intermittent: Stress beginning and end of activity Nurture sporadic independence Provide frequent graduated guidance The frequency and duration of participation will increase over time.

42. Universal Enhancement Therapy It’s now time for your therapies. Can I take my dog for a walk first and finish playing my guitar? Recreational Therapy

43. Universal Enhancement Animals Birds may motivate vocalization Cats may promote range of motion Guinea Pigs may provoke a smile Rabbits may diminish tactile selectiveness Dogs may facilitate ambulation Horses may nurture confidence Fish may encourage visual tracking Animals enhance quality of life;

44. Universal Enhancement Prophecy Fulfilled As parents, we eagerly extend to our toddlers opportunities such as…. Changing the station on the car radio Unlocking the front door Hanging up the coat of a guest Handing money to the cashier Cracking an egg Wrapping presents Why are these opportunities frequently denied to children with disabilities who require pervasive supports?

45. Universal Enhancement Total Care Total Care… More often than not is a hyperbole Is a limiting prognosis not a description of ability Precludes the use of supported routines Is not a statement of need, but a label Total care is to do for!

46. Universal Enhancement Imposition Of Your Will Question: When a child “appears” non-responsive, how can one know what to offer, encourage, avoid or promote? Answer: Always offer options even if it is a symbolic act. What would you choose under similar circumstances?

47. Universal Enhancement Live And Learn Children learn what they live! What are your children’s life experiences?