Presentation on theme: "Mothering After Domestic Violence: Hands-on Activities for Intervening with Abused Women As Mothers Alison Cunningham, M.A.(Crim.) Linda Baker, Ph.D.,"— Presentation transcript:
Mothering After Domestic Violence: Hands-on Activities for Intervening with Abused Women As Mothers Alison Cunningham, M.A.(Crim.) Linda Baker, Ph.D., C.Psych. Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System
Formerly the London Family Court Clinic opened 1974 clinical programs about 30 staff also research, training, resource development
Parenting Support for Survivors Engage by providing hope and a framework & narrative for her and her children’s experience Describe impacts of abuse on mother-child relationships and mothering Enhance understanding of her children -- developmental stages, potential impacts, roles, coping
Parenting Support for Survivors Present guidelines for talking with children about abuse Offer parenting strategies to help children thrive Give permission for personal care
Deconstructing Economic Abuse (EA) to Inform Parenting Support
After this session, you will be better able to: Identify new ways of using the P&C wheel to engage and support women Describe ways to use this approach to inform interventions on parenting
Power & Control Wheel Pros Widely used & recognized Useful to women Adaptable, flexible Conveys nonphysical abuse Cons Oversimplifies Not inclusive of all forms of control tactics risks a one-size fits all interpretation
Our Approach Deconstruct the slices Why? It helps a woman to… –make links to her life –better understand complex concepts –make links to how children were affected –communicate her experience to others
Deconstructing Economic Abuse: how it affected me then & now how it affected my children then & now parenting strategies to counter the effects
Case Study & Video Clip What is the nature of the abuse? What messages is the son learning?
Based on the case study & what you observed in the video, complete : Exercise 1: Checklist for Economic Abuse During Relationship. Exercise 78: Messages Children Learn from EA.
Given the abuse & messages you checked off, discuss: What might be the effect on the mother- child relationships? What might be the effect on mothering”?
To more fully answer the preceding questions, you need to unravel the impact of rationalizations on women and on children. To more fully answer the preceding questions, you need to unravel the impact of rationalizations on women and on children.
Go to Exercise 4: Rationalizations for EA Review material Link to case study and video:
Financial realities of “now” create ‘faux legitimization’ of rationalizations from “then” ‘Faux legitimization’ of rationalizations fuels their internalization Benefits of Unraveling Impacts of rationalizations:
Prevent their perpetuation with self and children Recognize in future partners
. Describe some parenting strategies/approaches this mother might use to help counter the effects of economic abuse.
Parenting Approaches Informed by Understanding the Effects of Economic Abuse and Its Rationalizations
Neutralize “emotions” related to money, e.g.s, Divide allowance: contingent & unconditional portion Set and communicate appropriate expectations Supportively problem solve if child is unsuccessful
Neutralize “emotions” related to money, e.g.s, Set and hold givens, while providing some choice Keep the adult part of finances among adults
Teach building blocks for economic partnerships, e.g., Engage children in family planning and decision making around spending set amount of money for “family fun” (e.g., pizza, video, swimming, ice cream in park)
Teach gender equality, e.g., Use the same guidelines and rules for sons and daughters Draw attention to female role models for financial competence
Teach financial skills, e.g., Use talk aloud strategies to model financial skills and decision making Comparison shop with children (e.g. grocery) Encourage children to save a small amount of any money they receive
Model the use of money in a healthy way, e.g., Plan and make a donation as a family Involve children in gift buying
Take Home Message: Acknowledging women’s experience is a safe way to engage her around parenting Deconstructing abuse can help women make the link to how children were effected
Take Home Message: Understanding this link creates ‘buy in’ and informs the development and application of compensatory parenting strategies The combination of ‘buy in’, individualization, and realistic strategies, increase the chance for action
Customizing the Power & Control Wheel to Inform Parenting
As a result of this session, you will be better able to: Identify ways to customize the Power & Control Wheel with individual women Describe activities using a customized wheel to counter the effects of abuse on the mother-child relationship and parenting
Our Approach Customize the wheel Select relevant pieces Scale slice proportions Add missing slices Use to prioritize intervention with women Link to children’s experiences Inform parenting strategies to counter effects on children
Mary’s Wheels First Mary drew the frequency of each type of abuse she experienced Then Mary drew the degree of impact on her today of each type of abuse she experienced. She wrote down how she was impacted in each slice.
In pairs, draw a customized wheel for Odelia: use the P & C Wheel as a reference (p. 12 in package) list types of abuse Odelia experienced experienced size slices based on the degree of impact of each type of abuse on Odelia write how she was impacted in each slice write how she was impacted in each slice
Share & compare wheels at your table: Do your wheels differ from those of others at your table?
Abuse is “personal” Approaches that are individualized –Join where the woman is –Facilitate engagement –Are more likely to be helpful
In pairs, draw a customized wheel for Odelia’s son: List types of abuse her son was exposed to or experienced Size slices based on the degree of impact each type of abuse might have on how he views Odelia & their relationship Write down impacts in each slice
Compare and contrast the wheel you made for Odelia with the wheel you made for her son.
What’s most salient to child may differ from what is salient to mother Even within the same family each child’s perceptions may differ Important to support women to support children to express their experience
Lipschitz et al. (1999) 74 adolescents in in-patient psychiatric setting 93% reported at least 1 category of trauma including child abuse and exposure to family violence or community violence 76% reported at least 2 categories of trauma average 2.5 traumas per youth
Potential Impacts on Son’s Relationship with Odelia: Diminished respect for mother Diminished belief she can care for him or protect him Angry at her for…. Guilty for not protecting her Afraid she thinks he’s like Dad Believes he should be “new power figure” in family Proud of her courage
Parenting Strategies: Identify 2 parenting strategies (be specific) to counter the effects on their relationship and/or ‘mothering’.
Believes he should be “new power figure” in family:
Other Uses of the Wheel Size slices by: Fequency of each type of abuse used against me; against my child Abuse I worry most about my child using against me; with his peers Abuse I worry beginning in my new relationship Degree of impact of each type of abuse on me (then, now); as a mother (then,now)
Other Uses of the Wheel Size slices by: Degree of impact of each type of abuse on children (one wheel/child)
Guided self-discovery, with support, can lead to action: 1.join with women around their experience of “abuse”, 2.move to their experience of abuse as mothers, 3.make natural extension to children, 4.drawing on of the above, shift focus to parenting.
Applications: Self-study One-to-one work (mother, child) Group work (mothers, children) Concurrent mother and child groups Joint work with mother & child
Take Home Message The more successful we are at individualizing intervention, then the more likely women will: be engaged experience genuine understanding Acknowledge parenting needs/limitations
Take Home Message Abused women will benefit from parenting support that: Offers hope starts where a woman is, supports expression of her narrative supports both the woman and her children
Take Home Message provides an explanatory framework for her experience that can be personalized enables bridging to her children’s experiences Includes peer support leads to action
WHAT ABOUT ME! Seeking to Understand the Child’s View of Violence in the Family (2004) Cunningham & Baker Summary of “best evidence” from the literature
HELPING CHILDREN THRIVE Supporting Woman Abuse Survivors as Mothers: A resource to support parenting (2004) handouts for women & background information for service providers
Little Eyes, Little Ears Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against a Mothers Shapes Children as they Grow Order from the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence Également en français