0. Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Acknowledge, Ask, Adapt Training Strategies to Improve Communication with Family Members in Collaborative Relationships
Laurie Beckel, MA/LPC
Pyramid Model Coach/Trainer
Permission to use materials given by:
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

1. The Teaching Pyramid Promotes Social-Emotional Competence
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
The Teaching Pyramid Promotes Social-Emotional Competence
Program Philosophy
Module 3a, 3b
Teacher Training and Implementation
Individualized Intensive Interventions
Administrative Supports
Module 2
Social-Emotional Teaching Strategies
Well-defined
procedures
Designing Supportive Environments
Module 1
Building Positive Relationships
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

2. Why Build Relationships?
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Why Build Relationships?
Relationships are at the foundation of everything we do. Build relationships early – don’t wait until there is a problem.
Children learn and develop in the context of relationships. Adults too!
Children with the most challenging behaviors especially need these relationships, and yet their behaviors often prevent them from benefiting from those relationships.
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

3. Building Positive Relationships
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Building Positive Relationships
Adults’ time and attention are very important to children.
We need to give time and attention at times other than when they are engaging in challenging behavior.
Family members and other colleagues (mental health providers, therapists) are critical partners in building children’s social emotional competence.
We should all work together to ensure children’s success and prevent challenging behavior.
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

4. Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt
Acknowledge
Recognize the difference between your thoughts and the thoughts of another person (often cultural)
With an adult, this is usually done verbally
Ask
Respectfully ask the adult for more information in order to more fully understand and clarify the issue
Adapt
Seek out a common ground when possible
Come to resolution that addresses the real issue
Program for Infant Toddler Care, (PITC) WestEd
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

5. Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Potential Outcomes
When resolutions address real issues, several outcomes are possible
Resolution through mutual understanding & negotiation
Both parties see the other’s perspective and give a little or a lot
These conflicts result in a “win-win” negotiation with movement from both sides
Resolution through teacher education
Teacher sees the family’s perspective. Teacher changes.
Resolution through family education
Family sees the teacher’s perspective. Family changes.
No resolution
Agree to disagree and learn to cope respectfully
Neither changes and conflict continues
Janet Gonzlez-Mena
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

6. Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Negotiation
“[With negotiation] it’s not a question of giving up everything we know. It’s a question of balancing what we know and what the parent knows, and figuring out together what would be in the best interests of the child.”
Louise Derman-Sparks
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

7. Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Practice Always Helps
Listen as Linda and Sandi have a conversation using Acknowledge, Ask & Adapt (A-A-A)
Read over the story
Notice what the “mother” didn’t share
Now you practice this same conversation
One person be the teacher, one be the mother
The third person, watch them to see what they do well
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

8. Guidelines for Teachers
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Guidelines for Teachers
Same initial paragraph, then teacher specific:
Provides the teacher’s perspective (which might not match yours)
You initiate the conversation with the family member
Feel free to be warm and say nice things about their child to start with (relationship building!)
The Acknowledge and Ask sections give you some ideas for starting that conversation
Stay in the “Teacher” mode and be as real as possible
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

9. Guidelines for Family Members
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Guidelines for Family Members
Same initial paragraph, then family specific:
You can be the mother, father, grandparent, or anyone else who is actively raising this child (unless it states otherwise)
The “teacher” has been given some ideas of how to start the conversation with you
You can respond to the teacher in any way that feels natural to you in your role as the family member
Try and respond with answers that come from the perspective points listed for the family member
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

10. Let’s Practice Acknowledge, Ask, & Adapt
Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
Let’s Practice Acknowledge, Ask, & Adapt
Same groups
Everyone does three vignettes, switching roles from observer, to teacher, to parent or other staff member
Use Practice Feedback form as the observer to help guide your feedback
Stay in your role!
Share all perspectives at the end of each vignette
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies

11. Training of Trainers Institute
February 2008
A-A-A Has Many Uses
Staff members also have different “buttons,” different beliefs and values, differences about how to approach behavior
We can use this process of “Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt” as a way of having dialogue and respectful conversations
Sometimes the presence of a facilitator can be helpful for tense conversations
There are many “right” ways to do things!
WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies