2. Teenage Stress “I’m So Stressed”

3. 40% !!!!!!!! of ALL Teenagers say they experience mild or severe stress in their life It’s how they handle the stress that will determine how healthy they are

4. STUDENT STRESS RATING SCALE The following are events that occur in the life of a college student. Place a check in the left-hand column for each of those events that has happened to you during the last 12 months. ___ Death of a close family member - 100 points ____ Jail term - 80 points ____ Final year or first year in college - 63 points ____ Pregnancy (to you or caused by your) - 60 points ____ Severe personal illness or injury - 53 points ____ Marriage - 50 points ____ Any interpersonal problems - 45 points ____ Financial difficulties - 40 points ____ Death of a close friend - 40 points ____ Arguments with your roommate (more than every other day) - 40 points ____ Major disagreements with your family - 40 points’ ____ Major change in personal habits - 30 points ____ Change in living environment - 30 points ____ Beginning or ending a job - 30 points ____Problems with your boss or professor - 25 points ____ Outstanding personal achievement - 25 points ____ Failure in some course - 25 points ____ Final exams - 20 points ____ Increased or decreased dating - 20 points ____ Changes in working conditions - 20 points ____ Change in your major ____ Change in your sleeping habits - 18 points ____ Several-day vacation - 15 points ____ Change in eating habits - 15 points ____ Family reunion - 15 points ____ Change in recreational activities - 15 points ____ Minor illness or injury - 15 points ____ Minor violations of the law - 11 points Score: _________________

5. INTERPRETING YOUR SCORE l Less than 150 points : relatively low stress level in l relation to life events l 150 - 300 points : borderline range l Greater than 300 points : high stress in relation to life l events lNote: From Girdano, D.A., Everly, G. S., Jr., & Dusek, D. E. (1990). Controlling stress and tension (3rd edition), ENnglewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

6. WHAT IS STRESS? lStress is your mind and body’s response or reaction to a real or imagined threat, event or change. lThe threat, event or change are commonly called stressors. Stressors can be internal (thoughts, beliefs, attitudes or external (loss, tragedy, change). May feel tension, frustration, worry, sadness, or withdrawal

7. Identifying Stressors Situations that make you feel stress are called stressors Not everyone reacts the same way to the same stressors Recognizing what stressors make you experience stress is the first step in controlling your stress ACTIVITY: Take a moment to think about what type of day you have had? How many stressors – mild or major have you encountered today?

8. EUSTRESS Eustress or positive stress occurs when your level of stress is high enough to motivate you to move into action to get things accomplished.

9. DISTRESS Distress or negative stress occurs when your level of stress is either too high or too low and your body and/or mind begin to respond negatively to the stressors.

10. RECOGNIZING STRESS SIGNALS Symptoms could be physical such as headaches or upset stomach Other symptoms could include changes in sleep or eating patterns You need to learn the ways in which your body signals you that you are experiencing stress, so that you can recognize it and deal with it before it makes you ill ACTIVITY What signals does your body send you that you are under stress?

11. STAGES OF STRESS

12. ALARM STAGE As you begin to experience a stressful event or perceive something to be stressful psychological changes occur in your body. This experience or perception disrupts your body’s normal balance and immediately your body begins to respond to the stressor(s) as effectively as possible.

13. EXAMPLES lCardiac - increased heart rate lRespiratory - increased respiration lSkin - decreased temperature lHormonal - increased stimulation of adrenal genes which produce an adrenal rush.

14. RESISTANCE STAGE During this stage your body tries to cope or adapt to the stressors by beginning a process of repairing any damage the stressor has caused. Your friends, family or co-workers may notice changes in you before you do so it is important to examine their feedback to make sure you do not reach overload.

15. EXAMPLES lBehavior indicators include: lack of enthusiasm for family, school, work or life in general, withdrawal, change in eating habits, insomnia, hypersomnia, anger, fatigue. lCognitive Indicators include: poor problem solving, confusion, nightmares, hyper- vigilance.

16. RESISTANCE STAGE MORE EXAMPLES Emotional indicators include: l tearfulness l fear l anxiety l panic l guilt l agitation l depression l overwhelmed.

17. EXHAUSTION STAGE During this stage the stressor is not being managed effectively and the body and mind are not able to repair the damage.

18. EXAMPLES Digestive disorders, withdrawal, headaches, tension, insomnia, loss of temper, skin disorders etc..

19. Who Causes us stress ? Parents Teachers Coaches Brothers/Sisters Friends Oneself Environment Others???

20. RESPONDING TO STRESS Many times when we experience stress, we don’t stop to think about how we handle it. We respond to stress based on habits and patterns that we have developed over time Some habits are healthy, and others are unhealthy Remember, no matter how stressful the situation, take your time, realise you have a choice and choose to make stress response that is productive, healthy and ends well ACTIVITY Identify an unhealthy response to stress. Think of a stressful situation in which you respond with this negative habit. Think of a healthier alternative to handle this stressor!

21. How do most teenagers escape stress? Listen to Music Keep up with Friends Watch Television Seek Solutions…….Do You? Seek Support

22. OTHER OPTIONS TO HANDLE STRESS Relaxation Yoga Meditation / Breathing exercises

23. “I’m really depressed” Depression is more severe than stress and it lasts longer (at least 2-3 weeks) Feel hopeless Feel sad Feel alone Worry Withdrawal (from your friends and family) 21 days

24. How do teenagers escape depression? Become indifferent-avoid people Exhibit anger at those around them Become aggressive, yell, fight, complain Drink Smoke Sleep Cry Attempt suicide

25. Stressed/Depressed Where do you go? Teachers Pastor Physician Coach Relatives Parents Friends

26. I don’t know anyone who is depressed True or False

27. I’M IN CONTROL - DISTRESS RELIEF STRATEGIES Feeling good about yourselves can be an effective buffer against stress. Eliminate unnecessary worries. PHYSICAL 1. Relax neck and shoulders 2. Take a stretch 3. Get a massage 4. Exercise GET MENTAL 5. Count to 10 6. Control your thoughts 7. Fantasize 8. Congratulate yourself 9. Ignore the problem if appropriate, after evaluation 10. Perform self maintenance 11. Talk to a counselor GET SPIRITUAL 12. Meditate 13. Pray 14. Remember your purpose USE YOUR BODY AND MIND TOGETHER 15. Take a break 16. Get hug therapy 17. Try progressive relaxation 18. Try yoga 19. Try aroma therapy 20. Laugh DEVELOP NEW SKILLS 21. Prioritize daily tasks 22. Learn something 23. Practice a hobby

28. CHANGING BELIEFS & ATTITUDES Your unconscious mind contains may beliefs that you hold about yourself. Program your “self talk” to be a positive affirmation Focus on the present. Stressful images from the past can have a negative impact on how you think about yourself. Ultimately it is you who determines what you think about. Think positive for today! Practice handling stressful situations. Rehearse what you want to say and envision a positive outcome.

29. HANDLING ANGER… We all feel anger, and we all feel it for different reasons (ie) when you feel threatened, when you feel the victim of an unfair situation, when you are frustrated When angry, some people over-react and then some people don’t react at all  Buried feelings do not disappear, but come out in ways – bottling up anger is self-destructive Need to learn to cope with anger and find a healthy manner of dealing with it!

30. FACING OUR FEARS Everyone has fears and they are a common stress for people When people talk openly about their fears, most are surprised to find out that others share those fears also Quite often, we create our own fears and over exaggerate things When we learn to name our fears and face them head on, they lose some of their power Facing our fears almost always turns out to be far less stressful than living with the uncertainty of the fears that you dared not face…

31. BECOMING MORE ASSERTIVE Have you ever had a situation that became more stressful because you found it hard to stand up for your point of view Have you ever said yes, when you really wanted to say no??? Assertiveness starts with you believing that you have a right to your beliefs and a right to expect that others should respect them as well It means standing up to peer pressure, defending yourself if being treated unfairly and having the courage to express ideas you believe in

32. AVOIDING OVERLOAD You can eliminate a great deal of needless stress in your life by paying more attention to the way you budget your time and energy Being in control of time and energy involves using strategies such as avoiding procrastination, scheduling your time, making smart choices, prioritizing activities and setting realistic limits for yourself

33. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH CHANGE No matter how careful you live your life, change is part of life for everyone All change is stressful – whether the outcome is good or bad Some people try escapism to avoid change like alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy pursuits Facing the crisis of change can often offer opportunities for finding new strengths in yourself and for developing new skills “Be the change you want to see in the world!”

34. LEARNING TO HANDLE CONFLICT There are 3 types of conflict  Internal Conflict – conflict within yourself  Interpersonal – conflict between two people  Inter-group – conflict between members of one group and another group

35. 3 METHODS TO HANDLE STRESS 1.Avoidance 2.Confrontation 3.Resolution AvoidanceConfrontationResolution Cry Quit Pout Back stab Give in Deny Use humour Stop speaking to person ? Yell Fight Accuse ? Talk Get a mediator Compromise Share ideas ?

36. 3 PERSONALITY TYPES 1. Passive Avoids conflict and risk altogether by internalizing or denying Message – “My anger is not IK so I will deny it because I am afraid of my feelings!” Is self-denying, puts own wishes 2 nd, does not express opinion, tries to get their way through devious means, uses cold shoulder, disappointed or resentful, often says “it doesn’t matter” when asked a question or given a choice 2. Aggressive insensitive to the rights of others – dominates Anger is expressed either physically, emotionally or psychologically and hurts others – message is “I will blame others for my anger because I am uncomfortable with my own feelings!” Tend to be defensive, hostile, gets own way at expense of others, may feel guilty for what they have done, stands up for won needs, but will put others down while doing it 3. Assertive Communicates honestly and directly Message – “Nobody can make me angry without my permission. I have the power to choose how I deal with my anger and I choose to honour me and respect you!” Feels good about themselves, makes choices for themselves without harming others, stands up for their own needs

37. HOW TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE State your position Offer a reasonable explanation Acknowledge other’s feelings State the problem Inform how you might change the situation or solve the problem To be assertive make sure you:  Don’t whisper or mumble – speak with volume and confidence  Make eye contact  Be certain your facial expressions reflect what you are saying  Keep a good distance – remember personal space

38. ADVANTAGES OF ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR Gives you power Gives you independence Builds a sense of self-worth Allows you to make good decisions Allows you to get what you need and feel good about the process Encourages open and honest communication Most importantly it demonstrates that you are being true to yourself and your values

39. USING “I” STATEMENTS 1.I feel… (state the feeling) 2.When you…(state the person’s behavior) 3.Because…(state the effect it has on you) 4.I want…(state what you want to happen) (ie) I feel hurt and angry… when you tell other people something I told you in confidence… because it is embarrassing and it made other people angry with me… I want you to promise that when I tell you something in confidence that you will not tell a single person.”

40. STEPS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION 1. State the problem Cleary state the problem Don’t place blame, accuse or blame other problems 2. Define the scope of the problem Find areas of agreement Identify areas of disagreement 3. Brainstorm possible solutions List as many possible solutions as you can 4. Identify the consequences For each possible solution list the consequences 5. Choose a solution that both parties agree on

42. Resiliency: is the ability to recover from disappointment, difficulty, or a crisis. External factors: include your family, your school or community, and your peers. Internal factors: are the ones you have control over. Positive values: demonstrate positive values through your words and actions. Social dependency: you have empathy and friendship skills. It also means you can resist negative peer pressure and resolve conflicts nonviolently. Positive identity: indicates positive self-esteem and a sense of purpose.

43. Resiliency Simplified… Recognize your symptoms of stress Use relaxation techniques Exercise Time management Watch your diet Get enough sleep and rest Help others Take time outs – vacations, mental breaks Give in occasionally Tackle one thing at a time Don’t try to be perfect Have some fun – laugh lots and enjoy life!

44. How to be Resilient…  Get Together Talk with your friends and, yes, even with your parents. Understand that your parents may have more life experience than you do, even if it seems they never were your age.  Cut Yourself Some Slack When something bad happens in your life, the stresses of whatever you're going through may heighten daily stresses. Your emotions might already be all over the map because of hormones and physical changes; be prepared for this and go a little easy on yourself, and on your friends.  Create A Hassle-Free Zone Make your room or apartment a "hassle-free zone" - not that you keep everyone out, but home should be a haven free from stress and anxieties.  Stick To The Program During a time of major stress, map out a routine and stick to it. You may be doing all kinds of new things, but don't forget the routines that give you comfort.  Take Care Of Yourself Be sure to take of yourself - physically, mentally and spiritually. And get sleep. If you don't, you may be more grouchy and nervous at a time when you have to stay sharp.

45. Resiliency cont…  Take Control Bad times make us feel out of control - grab some of that control back by taking decisive action.  Express Yourself Tragedy can bring up a bunch of conflicting emotions, but sometimes, it's just too hard to talk to someone about what you're feeling. If talking isn't working, do something else to capture your emotions like start a journal, or create art.  Help Somebody Nothing gets your mind off your own problems like solving someone else's. Try volunteering in your community or at your school, cleaning-up around the house or apartment, or helping a friend with his or her homework.  Put Things In Perspective The very thing that has you stressed out may be all anyone is talking about now. But eventually, things change and bad times end. Learn some relaxation techniques, whether it's thinking of a particular song in times of stress, or just taking a deep breath to calm down. When you talk about bad times, make sure you talk about good times as well. You can learn resilience. But just because you learn resilience doesn't mean you won't feel stressed or anxious. You might have times when you aren't happy - and that's OK. Resilience is a journey, and each person will take his or her own time along the way. Resilience can help you be one of the people who've "got bounce."