2. Power! PUNCH! Pizazz!

3.  The parts of the story that the reader just can’t forget.

4.  The writer has weighed the options and chosen a description that best captures what is wanted.

5.  The reader should be able to SEE the characters, the events, the setting, etc.  The words make the story play like a movie in the reader’s mind.

6.  Show the unique nature of writing through different word choices.  Bad Example: He was tall and scary.  Better Example: Jonny was as tall as a tree…if you stood in his shadow, you could feel an angry chill.

7.  Reminder: A verb is a word that expresses action or being.  Examples: attack, belittle, disapprove, exercise, float, flip, harrass, pinch, pretend, sneeze, etc.

8.  Bad Example: Julian Nicole Michaels whispered subtly into the rustling breeze as the lazily floating water rippled and bubbled over the slippery, moss-covered boulders in the lingering glow of twilight.  Yikes! Can you imagine how long that book would be?  Better Example: Julian whispered her thoughts into the wind, letting it carry her worries away.  Still gives a mental picture without all the fluff and pomp.

9.  The topic  If it is a scary story, beautiful fluffy language might not work. Use, instead, sharp and suspenseful language.  The audience  Five-year-olds read at a much different level than 55-year-olds. “Jane ran fast” might be powerful for a young child, but would bore an older reader to tears.  The purpose  Refer to the first two! The topic (point wanted to express) and the audience determine the purpose.

10. WORD CHOICE: WEAK WRITING SAMPLE STUDENT WRITING SAMPLE Austin Hunter 1135 Key Lane San Rafael, CA 95521 (916) 555-2368 Job Objective: To help people with their computers and stuff. Experience: I’ve been playing around on computers for a few years now. I know a lot about computers. I’ve helped at school with the computer classes. Education: I graduated from Lewiston High School with a 3.0 GPA. I took CAD (computer class) at my high school. Hobbies: Soccer, guitar, hanging out. References: Available upon request.

11.  Don’t repeat the same powerful words over, and over, and over, and over, and over and…get it?  Bad Example: Her sapphire eyes beheld her sapphire dress with pleasure. She ran outside, under the sapphire sky and saw Jenny coming In her sapphire car…blah, blah, blah.  Bad Example: Danny got into the car, then Danny put on his seatbelt. Danny started the car and drove to Denny’s. Danny found a parking place…  You know what the reader is thinking? “I hate the name Danny.”

12.  In groups, take the rest of the period to get as far as you can in the packet. Add at least 3-4 words to each section.

13. POWERFUL WORDS

14.  Sight words describe appearance, shapes, movements, and colors.

15.  Scarlet  Burgundy  Blood  Wine  Garnet  Flame  Carmine  Vermilion  Auburn  Cardinal  Crimson  Currant  Strawberry  Coral  Rose  Salmon  pink

16.  Sky  Sapphire  Azure  Delft  Porcelain  Aquamarine  Robin’s egg  Prussian blue  Peacock  Teal  Cobalt  Powder  Ice  Bluish  Cerulean

17.  Celery  Apple  Moss  Pea  Kelly  Emerald  Neon-green  Olive  Pistachio  Chartreuse  Forest  Yellow-green  Grass-green  Verdant  Jade

18.  Almond  Amber  Tawny  Hazel  Cinnamon  Nutmeg  chocolate  Honey  Brunette  Cocoa  Nut brown  Fawn  Toasted  Coffee  Tea  Rust  Ginger  Walnut  Bronze  Mahogany  Caramel  Drab  Khaki  Bay  Puce  Umber  Russet

19.  Beige  Buff  Peach  Apricot  Buttercup  Chartreuse  Tangerine  persimmon  Canary  Chrome  Gold  Topaz  Ochre  Saffron  Sulfur  Mustard  Butterscotch  Orange

20.  Coal  Licorice  Sable  Raven  Inky  Pitch  Shadowy  Murky  Lightless  Dark  Midnight  Swarthy  Stygian  Moonless  Dim

21.  Ashen  Dove  Silver  Platinum  Granite  Lead  Pewter  Neutral  Slate  Dun  Mouse  Foggy  Stormy  Misty

22.  Amethyst  Orchid  Mauve  Plum  Pansy  Eggplant  Mulberry  Fuchsia  Magenta  Wine  Violet  Pale purple  Heliotrope  Grape

23.  Gold  Topaz  Ochre  Mustard  Tangerine  Persimmon  Carrot  Ginger  Pumpkin

24.  Snow  Marble  Cream  Oyster  Platinum  Bloodless  Sallow  Filmy  Smoky  Alabaster  Colorless  Pale  Pallid  Ghostly  Bleached  Wan  Pasty  Cadaverous  Translucent  Chalky  Fair  Blond

25.  Colorless  Rainbow  Drab  Stark  Bland  Neon  Metallic  Vivid  Vibrant  Bright  Pale

26.  Freckled  Spotted  Striped  Clear  Shiny  Glowing  Fluid  Sparkling  Iridescent  Glazed  Transparent  Grimy  Dark  Dismal  Rotted  Worn

27.  Curved  Loose  Crooked  Awkward  Tired  Exhausted  Arid  Ramshackle  Ugly  Cheap  Messy  Shabby  Untidy  Straight  Orderly  Formal

28.  Crisp  Pretty  Heavy  Flat  Stout  Rigid  Narrow  Overloaded  Congested  Cluttered  Crowded  Jammed  Packed  Squeezed  Bruised  Stretched  Lean  Slender

29.  Frightened  Nervous  Tearful  Apprehensive  Fearful  Shy  Timid  Miniature  Strong  Tiny  Sickly  Pasty  Pale  Fragile  Frail  Healthy  Robust  Hardy

30.  Run  Scamper  Scramble  Dart  Spin  Stride  Streak  Gallop  drive  Dash  Careen  Rush  Race  Zoom  Zip  Ram  Chase  Hurl

31.  Sail  Fly  Swing  Plunge  Swoop  Bounce  Plummet  Drop  smash  Swerve  Flick  Whisk  Rip  Shove  Swat

32.  Crawl  Slouch  Lumber  Bend  Saunter  Loiter  Stray  Stalk  Stagger  Lope  Waddle  Slither  Drag  Sway  soar

33.  Lift  Drift  Droop  Heave  Dawdle

34.  Scrolled  Globular  Crimped  Crinkled  Conical  Cylindrical  Tubular  Hollow  Wide  Portly  Clustered  Tufted  Pendulous  Jutting  Triangular  Rectangular  Hexagonal  Narrow  Stretched

35.  Octagonal  Square  Pyramidal  Tapering  Branching  Twiggy  Split  Broken  straight  Spindly  Skinny  Thin  Wiry  Shapely  Winged  Shapeless  Crooked  Curved

36. Words that create a vivid picture!

37.  Cool  Creamy  Savory  Acidic  Buttery  Bittersweet  Hardy  Mellow  Crisp  Ripe  Tasteless  Vinegary  Fruity

38.  Tangy  Unripe  Alkaline  Medicinal  Fishy  Gingery  Hot  Overripe  Spoiled  Rotten  Gooey  Tart  Nutty

39.  Aromatic  Perfumed  Flowery  Heady  Fresh  Balmy  Earthy  Piney  Odorous  Pungent  Tempting  Savory  Sharp  Gamey  Briny  Acidic  Acrid  Gaseous

40.  Reeking  Rotten  Spoiled  Sickly  Stagnant  Musty  Mildewed  Damp  Dank  Stench  Stale

41.  Words that best create vivid mind picture.

42.  Cold  Icy  Lukewarm  Tepid  Warm  Hot  Steamy  Touch  Elastic  Wet  Slippery  Spongy  Mushy  Oily  Fleshy  Leathery  Silky  Satiny

43.  Frostbitten  Brittle  Sinewy  Bubbly  Moist  Tender  Fragile  Thin  Dull  Dry  Pulpy  Rough  Sandy  Prickly  Furry  Soft  Smooth

44.  Words that create the most vivid sound for the reader to hear.

45.  Bump  Boom  Bang  Explode  Roar  Scream  Shout  Yell  Whistle  Whine  Squawk  Bark  Bawl  Bray  Bluster  Rage  Blare  Rumble  Grate  Slam  Clap  Stomp

46.  Stamp  Noise  Discord  Jangle  Rasp  Clash  Caterwaul  Clamor  Tumult  Riot  Racket  Brawl  Yowl  Shatter

47.  Hum  Murmur  Whir  Twitter  Patter  Mutter  Crackle  Bleat  Peep  Melody  Resonance  Harmony  musical  Gurgle  Swish  Rush  Chime  Tinkle  Clink  Hush  Still  Speechless  Mute  Faint  Inaudible

48.  Stutter  Giggle  Guffaw  Laugh  Sing  Yell  Scream  Screech  Snort  Bellow  Murmur  Whisper  Whimper  Talk  Speak  Drawl  Hiss  Chatter  Growl