1. Building the Freshman Essay 1
This first essay building lesson is based on James Thurber’s short
Story “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” Students can find this
selection in their Language of Literature anthologies, beginning on
page 6.
After students have read this story and discussed it in their freshman
English classes, they can answer the following essay prompt:
Analyze why the protagonist in James Thurber’s short story
“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” dreams and examine their
impact on his life.

2. Building the Freshman Essay 2
After reading the story, students should read the essay prompt and
decide what the question is asking the students to write about.
The prompt,
“Analyze why the protagonist in James Thurber’s short story
‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ dreams and examine their
impact on his life,”
asks students to analyze why Walter dreams and to explain how these
dreams affect his life.

3. Prewriting 3
Prewriting is the first step in the writing process:
Some students like to brainstorm:
Why did Walter dream? Make a list of 3-5 reasons why you
think Walter dreamed. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
The essay prompt also asks students to explain how these
dreams affected Walter. Can you list 3-5 ways? 1. 2. 3, 4. 5.

4. Prewriting 4
Prewriting is the first step in the writing process:
Some students like to cluster:
Why did
Walter dream?
How did
these dreams
affect Walter’s
Life?

5. Shaping the Essay 5
Shaping the essay is the second step in the writing process.
The thesis statement and two supporting topic sentences form the
core of the essay.
1st paragraph
Thesis Statement
that addresses
prompt and in form
of opinion
3rd paragraph
How did
these dreams
affect Walter’s
Life?
2nd paragraph
Why did
Walter dream?

6. Shaping the Essay 6
The introduction is composed of three sentences:
1. The first sentence introduces an important theme from the story.
In order to be successful in life, people must learn from life’s
experiences.

7. Shaping the Essay 7
The introduction is composed of three sentences:
2. The second sentence introduces the literary selection’s
title, author, plot, setting, and characters.
In James Thurber’s classic short story “The Secret Life of Walter
Mitty,” the protagonist escapes from the realities of everyday life
in World War II America by creating heroic fantasies.

8. Shaping the Essay 8
The introduction is composed of three sentences:
3. The third sentence is the thesis statement. It addresses the essay
prompt and is written in the form of an opinion.
Walter Mitty, the famous dreamer of American fiction, does not
possess the inner strength and confidence to make his dreams
come true.

9. First Draft 9
We now have a three sentence introduction:
In order to be successful in life, people must learn from life’s
experiences. In James Thurber’s classic short story “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” the protagonist escapes from the realities of everyday life in World War II America by creating heroic fantasies. Walter, the famous dreamer of American fiction, does not
possess the inner strength and confidence to make his dreams
come true.
The order of these sentences may be varied.

10. Shaping the Essay 10
Each body paragraph is composed of eight sentences:
To write the topic sentence for the first body paragraph, reread
the essay prompt and look at the ideas you generated in the
brainstorming or clustering activity.
Why did Walter dream? Make a list of 3-5
reasons why you think Walter dreamed.
Walter dreams to escape
2nd paragraph
Why did
Walter dream?
Walter dreams to
escape

11. Shaping the Essay 11
Now, try to turn your best idea into a topic sentence for
your first body paragraph that analyzes why Walter dreams.
Why did Walter dream? Make a list of 3-5
reasons why you think Walter dreamed.
Walter dreams to escape
2nd paragraph
Why did
Walter dream?
Walter dreams to
escape
Mr. Mitty dreams of heroism to escape the reality of his own
existence.

12. Shaping the Essay 12
The second sentence in your body paragraph is a concrete detail
that is introduced by words like ”For example,” TS
CD For example, (A concrete detail from text, selected to support
topic sentence)
For example, Walter dreams of flying a Navy hydroplane through
one of the worst storms of World War II when his wife brings him
back to reality by complaining, “Not so fast! You’re driving too
fast,” (Thurber 7).
Remember to use parenthetical documentation for your quotations.

13. Shaping the Essay 13 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
Commentary sentence that analyzes the evidence
presented in the prior concrete detail sentence
Harsh criticism by his wife and other characters like the parking lot
attendant, who complains about Walter’s inability to even back up his
own car, sends Walter scurrying for cover in a heroic world of his
own creation.

14. Shaping the Essay 14 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because…)
Commentary sentence that delves deeper into ideas
presented in the prior commentary sentence
The characters in Walter’s dreams defer to his judgment and
admire his ability to fly behind enemy lines or perform open
heart surgery without showing signs of fear.

15. Shaping the Essay 15 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because…)
CD In addition, or In contrast,
Second concrete detail sentence with integrated
evidence that supports the topic sentence
In contrast to Walter’s dream world, his wife threatens, “ I’m
going to take your temperature,” when he asserts, “I was
thinking,” (Thurber 11).

16. Shaping the Essay 16 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because…)
CD In addition, or In contrast,
CM (This example shows that…)
Walter would like to be daring and admired like the characters
in his dreams, but he lacks their strength.

17. Shaping the Essay 17 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because …)
CD In addition, or In contrast,
CM (This example shows that…)
Walter’s lack of self-confidence prevents him from performing these
heroic deeds outside the security of his own dream
world.

18. Shaping the Essay 18 TS
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because …)
CD In addition, or In contrast,
CM (This example shows that…)
CS conclude and make transition
As a result, Walter’s dreams only provide a temporary refuge from his
everyday life.

19. Shaping the Essay 19
The first body paragraph:
Mr. Mitty dreams of heroism to escape the reality of his own
existence. For example, Walter dreams of flying a Navy hydroplane through
one of the worst storms of World War II when his wife brings him
back to reality by complaining, “Not so fast! You’re driving too
fast,” (Thurber 7). Harsh criticism by his wife and other characters like the
parking lot attendant, who complains about Walter’s inability to even back up
his own car, sends Walter scurrying for cover in a heroic world of his
own creation. The characters in Walter’s dreams defer to his judgment and
admire his ability to fly behind enemy lines or perform open
heart surgery without showing signs of fear. In contrast to Walter’s dream
world, his wife threatens, “ I’m going to take your temperature,” when he
asserts,“I was thinking,” (Thurber 11). Walter would like to be daring and
admired like the characters in his dreams, but he lacks their strength. Walter’s
lack of self-confidence prevents him from performing these heroic deeds outside
Continued

20. Shaping the Essay 20
the security of his own dream world. As a result, Walter’s dreams only provide
a temporary refuge from his everyday life.
You can now repeat these steps and write the second body
paragraph on your own:
3rd paragraph
How did his dreams
affect his
life?
The essay prompt also asks students
to explain how these dreams affected
Walter. Can you list 3-5 ways? 1.
Clustering
Brainstorming

21. Shaping the Essay 21
Second body paragraph:
TS In form of opinion: Why did Walter dream?
CD For example,
CM (This example shows that…)
CM (This is because …)
CD In addition, or In contrast,
CM (This example shows that…)
CS conclude and make transition

22. Shaping the Essay 22
The conclusion may sum up your ideas, reflect on what
is said in the paper, or give a personal statement about the
subject. You may summarize, review, or restate the
thesis in different words; echo methods used in introduction;
make an appeal for action; or relate the essay to the reader’s
interest.
Dreams are an important part of life. They can inspire humanity to set
and achieve goals that can improve the quality of life. Unfortunately,
Walter Mitty lacks the strength and determination to bring his
dreams to fruition.

23. First Draft 23
In order to be successful in life, people must learn from life’s
experiences. In James Thurber’s classic short story “The Secret Life of Walter
Mitty,” the protagonist escapes from the realities of everyday life in
World War II America by creating heroic fantasies. Walter, the famous
dreamer of American fiction, does not possess the inner strength and confidence
to make his dreams come true.
Mr. Mitty dreams of heroism to escape the reality of his own
existence. For example, Walter dreams of flying a Navy hydroplane through
one of the worst storms of World War II when his wife brings him
back to reality by complaining, “Not so fast! You’re driving too
fast,” (Thurber 7). Harsh criticism by his wife and other characters like the
parking lot attendant, who complains about Walter’s inability to even back up
his own car, sends Walter scurrying for cover in a heroic world of his
own creation. The characters in Walter’s dreams defer to his judgment and
admire his ability to fly behind enemy lines or perform open
Continued

24. First Draft 24
heart surgery without showing signs of fear. In contrast to Walter’s dream
world, his wife threatens, “ I’m going to take your temperature,” when he
asserts,“I was thinking,” (Thurber 11). Walter would like to be daring and
admired like the characters in his dreams, but he lacks their strength. Walter’s
lack of self-confidence prevents him from performing these heroic deeds outside
the security of his own dream world. As a result, Walter’s dreams only provide
a temporary refuge from his everyday life.
(Your second body paragraph should explore how these dreams affect
his life)
Dreams are an important part of life. They can inspire humanity to set
and achieve goals that can improve the quality of life. Unfortunately,
Walter Mitty lacks the strength and determination to bring his
dreams to fruition.

25. Revising the Essay 25
Reread your essay and check for misspellings, fragments,
run-ons, and awkward syntax.
Check to make sure your concrete details are specific and
support the paragraph’s topic sentence. Be sure to use proper
parenthetical documentation for your quotations.
Did you use a variety of concrete detail styles in your essay:
Paraphrase
Quotations integrated into the beginning of CD sentences. [“You’re driving too fast,”Mrs. Mitty hollered at Walter, (Thurber 7).
Quotations inserted into the middle of CD sentences. [See slide 15 for an example.]
Quotations integrated into the endings of CD sentences. ]See slide 12 for an example.]

26. Revising the Essay 26
Does your first commentary sentence of each chunk comment on
the prior CD sentence?
Does the second CM sentence of each chunk explore
the ideas of the first CM sentence at a greater depth?
Do concluding sentences (CS) provide closure to ideas discussed
in the paragraph, and if needed, do they transition readers to
the next paragraph?
Does your conclusion sum up your ideas, reflect on what
is said in the paper, or give a personal statement about the
subject?

27. Revising the Essay 27
8. Did you avoid the use of first person pronouns?
I, me, we, us
9. Did you avoid the use of second person pronouns?
you, your, yours
Did you write in the literary present tense?
Walter Mitty is an imaginative dreamer.
not
Walter Mitty was an imaginative dreamer.

28. The Finished Essay 28
Please make sure your final draft follows the GHHS essay
guideline:
Assignment Heading: Located in the upper right corner
Student’s first and last name
Teacher’s name
Period and subject
Date
Centered above first line of writing
Assignment title

29. The Finished Essay 29
Please make sure your final draft follows the GHHS essay
guideline:
Assignment Style Sheet:
Computer printout or blue or black ink
One side of paper only
One inch margins
12 point type size or teacher preference
Double-spaced or teacher preference
Times New Roman, Geneva, or Helvetica font

30. The Finished Essay 30
Before turning in your essay, please attach:
a GHHS cover sheet
Freshman Essay Checklist
Your final draft
Your completed Shaping the Essay
All drafts
Essay Rubric
Good luck on your first essay!