1. Expository Essay: Examples and Explanations

2. Question: So what did you do this weekend?

3. “I did something exciting.”
Vague Answers (BAD):
“I did something exciting.”
“I tried something new.”
“I met someone and we hung out.”

4. Specific Answers (GOOD):
“I went skydiving.”
“I went skateboarding.”
“I met a green space alien and we bonded over frozen yogurt .”

5. Strong expository essays include SPECIFIC EXAMPLES to support each idea!

6. Specific Vague Contains indefinite pronouns (someone, something)
Uses names of people and places.
Focuses on a clear, specific situation or person (history, the news, books or stories, your own life, etc.)
Compels the writer to give details that explain the example
The reader can imagine it!
Vague
Contains indefinite pronouns (someone, something)
Non-specific or made-up situations
Causes the writer to repeat ideas in the explanation
The reader can’t picture it.

7. READ THE EXAMPLE PROMPT BELOW
Spring 2013 English I Writing Expository
Read the following quotation.
Take risks. Ask big questions. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you’re not reaching far enough.
—David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard
Taking a risk means acting without knowing whether the outcome will be good. Think carefully about this statement.
Write an essay explaining why it is sometimes necessary to take a risk.

8. Now let’s looks at some bad (vague) and good (specific) examples used to support this prompt.
Spring 2013 English I Writing Expository
Read the following quotation.
Take risks. Ask big questions. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you’re not reaching far enough.
—David Packard, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard
Taking a risk means acting without knowing whether the outcome will be good. Think carefully about this statement.
Write an essay explaining why it is sometimes necessary to take a risk.

9. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk can lead to success in life.
Vague
You could discover that you’re good at something by just trying it and make a career out of it.
Specific

10. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk can lead to success in life.
Vague
You could discover that you’re good at something by just trying it and make a career out of it
Specific
Comedian Brian Regan took a chance when he performed his first stand-up routine during open-mic night at a comedy club.

11. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk will allow you to learn from your mistakes.
Vague
If you try something and fail, you can see what you did wrong and work to get better.
Specific

12. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk will allow you to learn from your mistakes.
General
If you try something and fail, you can see what you did wrong and work to get better.
Specific
Michael Jordan didn’t make the basketball team his freshman year of high school.

13. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk may inspire others.
Vague
People might see you do something and try it themselves.
Specific

14. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk may inspire others.
Vague
People might see you do something and try it themselves.
Specific
Jackie Robinson was the first African American to play Major League Baseball.

15. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Vague
Many famous people (scientists, explorers, and inventors) took a risk to make our world a better place.
Specific

16. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Vague
Many famous people (scientists, explorers, and inventors) took a risk to make our world a better place.
Specific
The Wright Brothers risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane

17. Great expository essays also include an explanation of at least three sentences that supports the example. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Specific
Example: The Wright Brothers risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane.
Explain:

18. Topic Sentence: Taking a risk could change the world.
Specific
Example: The Wright Brothers risked their lives when they built the first successful airplane.
Explain: They quit their jobs and worked for years to build the plane.
Explain: They could have lost all their money, ruined their reputations, or died in a crash.
Explain: Because of the risk they took, aviation has evolved along with transportation to change the lives of billions of people around the world.

19. TIP # 1: Use SPECIFIC examples from history, literature, current events, movies/TV shows, or your own life.

20. TIP # 2: Support each example with at least THREE SENTENCES of EXPLANATION.

21. TIP # 3: If you start repeating yourself in the explanation sentences, this means that your EXAMPLE is TOO VAGUE!

22. Choose the weakest example in your CBA expository essay.
Now It’s Your Turn!
Choose the weakest example in your CBA expository essay.
Draw a big box around the weak example and all the explanation sentences that support it.
Revise/Rewrite this piece of your essay on an index card. Include a more specific example supported by better explanation sentences.
Staple the index card to the back of your essay.