1. How to Increase Learning and Cooperation in the Classroom Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. August 8, 2012

2. Brief Overview What we believe about our students powerfully affects our relationships with them. Attitudes of respect encourage cooperation and increase learning. As we bring out the best in our students, we discover the best within ourselves. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

3. Brief History Learned about the importance of attitudes many years ago. I saw positive changes in relationships, but couldn’t identify the source. Years later I understood that the source of change was a shift in attitude. That led me to study attitudes in depth and earn my Ph.D. in education. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

4. ATTITUDES 1. What are attitudes? 2. How do we express them? 3. Two sets of attitudes model respect. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

5. What Are Attitudes? The beliefs and feelings we bring to a situation. The filter or lens through which we interpret our experiences. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

6. How Do We Express Them? Verbally Nonverbally © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

7. Two Attitudes of Respect The Quality Teaching principles The attitudes of equality © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

8. Quality Teaching Principles 1. Students have an innate drive to express their best selves--to develop their highest potential. 2. Students depend on us to help them. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

9. QT Principles Provide Comfort Students want to be cooperative. They don’t like their difficult, resistant behavior anymore than we do. Their challenging behavior is actually a cry for help: “Help me find the inner safety to be a responsive, open student.” Teachers and students are on the same side! © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

10. How Can We Increase Learning and Cooperation? Focus on principle one Focus on principle two © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

11. Focus on Principle One Catch students doing something right. Express your appreciation. Embrace their excitement. Turn a no into a yes. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

12. Catch Students Doing Something Right Water the flowers, not the weeds. Exercise: Write 5 behaviors you want to continue to encourage. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

13. Express Your Appreciation Behavior Feelings Effects © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved Describe:

14. Embrace Their Excitement Use the skill of conscious listening Reflect their feelings This encourages students to share further © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

15. Turn a No into a Yes Turn students’ resistance into responsiveness by engaging them mentally. Plan lessons around things students can easily relate to emotionally, such as their countries of origin (games, foods, and holidays) and common immigrant or cultural experiences. Encourage students to physically bring in personal items: photos, books, something they care about. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

16. Focus on Principle Two By remaining calm and centered in the face of stress. We know this isn’t always easy to do. Too often when students “lose it,” we lose it too! © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved We help students best:

17. What Do We Look Like When We Lose It? © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

18. FRENZIED FRANNY © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

19. Teacher’s Drawings Monster ManDonna-Do-It-All Looney LindaPreacher Paul © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

20. MIGHTY TEACHER © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

21. mini teacher © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

22. Attitudes of Inequality © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

23. Aggressive Characters Know-It-All V.I.P. Guru Dictator Royal Highness © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

24. Nonassertive Characters Know Nothing Martyr Mute Sheep People Pleaser © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

25. How Do Students Respond? Inauthentic cooperation - Behave out of fear - Comply because they feel sorry for us No cooperation - Resist - Rebel © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

26. Three-Step Process 1. Recognize when we lose it. 2. Learn to get back to center. 3. Model mutual respect. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

27. Step One Recognize when we lose it © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

28. Recognize When We Lose It EXERCISE: Draw a picture that answers the question, Who is that part of me that feels frustrated with some of my students? ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS: GIVE THE CHARACTER A NAME. How does it look and act? How does it think? What does it feel? © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

29. Step Two Learn to get back to center © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

30. Learn to Get Back to Center Relaxation exercise Bridge exercise Nurture yourself! © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

31. Step Three Model mutual respect © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

32. Centered Self © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

33. Attitudes of Respect © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

34. LISTENER We respect each other’s knowledge. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

35. HUMANIST We respect each other’s needs. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

36. OBSERVER We respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

37. PRAGMATIST We respect each other’s desire for autonomy. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

38. REALIST We respect each other’s expectations and create classroom agreements. Classroom Agreements © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

39. Review 1. Students want to be cooperative; we can actively encourage this behavior. 2. Their challenging behavior is a cry for help; we help them best by remaining calm. 3. When we reduce our stress and nurture ourselves, we can more easily model the attitudes of respect. © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved

40. Ilene Val-Essen’s Contact Information Web sites QualityParenting.com BringOutTheBest.com E-mail Info@QualityParenting.com Phone (310) 839-1571 (866) LUV KIDS, (866) 588-5437 © 2012 by Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D. All rights reserved