1. COMN 2111 GENDER AND COMMUNICATION LECTURE 19a

2. CULTURE: A REVIEW CULTURE IS: A WAY OF LIFE REPRESENTS THE “TAKEN-FOR- GRANTED” VIEWS SHARED BY GROUP CULTURE CONSISTS OF: KNOWLEDGE VALUES SYMBOLIC EXPRESSION

3. KEY “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” CULTURAL ASSUMPTION ABOUT GENDER AND COMMMUNICATION WOMEN AND MEN IN CONVERSATION SPEAK THE SAME “LANGUAGE” WITH THE SAME INTENTIONS AND SAME MEANINGS RESEARCH BY SOCIO-LINGUISTS SUGGESTS THAT THIS GENERAL ASSUMPTION OF SAMENESS IS WRONG. GENERALLY, MEN AND WOMEN OPERATE IN TWO DIFFERENT SUB-CULTURES OR COMMUNICATION GROUPS

4. CULTURE AND WORDS Every society has a lexicon or list of agreed-upon names for objects, ideas Unanalyzable, simple words that name categories of things with easily observed differences A name is a symbol because of arbitrarily attached meaning Not concrete or tied naturally to things Names we apply emphasize particular aspects of reality and neglect others

5. LANGUAGE AND GENDER Defines Gender Symbols define phenomena. We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings, experiences, and other phenomena.

6. LANGUAGE DEFINES GENDER MAN STILL USED TO MEAN PEOPLE OR HUMANITY UNTIL THE 90’S “MALE GENERICS” EXCLUDED WOMEN RESEARCH QUITE CLEAR ON “MAN” EVOKING THE IMAGE OF MALE NOT HUMAN IN STUDENTS OF ALL AGES “MALE GENERICS” SEEMED TO MAKE MEN MORE PROMINENT NATURE OF “PUBLIC TALK” (MEDIA) ABOUT WOMEN AND MEN DIFFERENT APPEARANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS - WOMEN ACTIVITIES AND ACHIEVEMENTS - MEN

7. LANGUAGE AND GENDER Organizes Perceptions of Gender We can classify phenomena and think in terms of generalizations. Often either-or Stereotypes Often either-or Stereotypes Strong vs. Weak, Emotional vs. Rational Strong vs. Weak, Emotional vs. Rational Defines Gender Symbols define phenomena. We use symbols to name objects, people, feelings, experiences, and other phenomena.

8. Language and Gender Evaluates Gender Language is not neutral. It reflects cultural values and is a powerful influence on our perceptions. Women are often trivialized by language. Demeaned by metaphors that equate them with food, animals, possessions, children 220 words for sexually permissive women - 22 for men

9. Language and Gender Enables Hypothetical Thought Symbols are abstract - allow us to think about not just what is, but also what will or might be and what has been. How to improve situations Language Allows Self ‑ Reflection As symbol users, we can name ourselves - self ‑ reflect. If we don't like the self we see, we are able to change, to alter how we act and how we define our identity

11. GENDER AND COMMUNICATION LECTURE 19b COMN 2111

12. GENDERED TALK IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES WE DISCUSS CENTRAL TENDENCIES IN DATA

13. GENDER AND KID’S PLAY Girls Boys Early separate worlds More emotions info Parents use more emotion and words The nature of emotions Early language skills - explore and articulate feelings Smaller, coop. games By puberty - girls learn indirect aggression Connected relationships By 7 no friends are girls Less info except anger Narrower display range - fewer emotion words Causes - consequences Use of more physical action to display - less aware of internal states Larger, competitive play Boys learn direct & ritual aggression Tough minded autonomy

14. TWO VIEWS OF THE WORLD MEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS IN CHARGE - HIGH VS. LOWS - COMPETITION WOMEN SPEAK TO DISCOVER WHO IS CONNECTED - CLOSE VS. FAR - CONNECTION WOMEN MEN

15. GENDER AND EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION

17. GENDERED TALK WORD USAGE AND GENDER WOMEN TEND TO USE MORE WORDS INTENSIFIERS TAG QUESTIONS (ISN’T IT) AND “UP-INFLECTIONS” “ENCOURAGERS” WHEN LISTENING MORE AFFECT (FEELING) WORDS THAN MALES BUT MEN USE MORE AFFECT WORDS WHEN TALKING TO WOMEN THAN MEN WOMEN DON’T CHANGE THEIR RATE OF USE

19. GENDER AND COMMUNICATION LECTURE 19c COMN 2111

20. GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION MEN SPEAK: TO ESTABLISH AUTONOMY RELATIVE TO EACH OTHER (COMPETE TO MAINTAIN IT) TO NEGOTIATE STATUS USING ‘REPORT TALK’ TALK SHOULD ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING - SOLVE A PROBLEM, GIVE ADVICE, TAKE A STAND THEIR “TAKEN FOR GRANTED” WORLD IS ONE OF HIERARCHY AND CONTROL

21. CHARACTERISTICS MEN RESIST BEING “ONE DOWN”: LESS LIKELY TO ASK QUESTIONS WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW SOMETHING COMPETE IN CONVERSATIONS GIVE ANSWERS RATHER THAN LISTEN WAIT TO RE-DIRECT CONVERSATION DEBATE RATHER THAN DISCUSS INTERRUPT TO GAIN FLOOR EXPECT TO BE ATTACKED AND ATTACK OTHERS “FIGHT IT OUT” THEN “DROP IT” AND MOVE ON RITUAL COMBAT IS SEEN AS NATURAL

22. GENDER-RELATED BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION WOMEN SPEAK: TO ESTABLISH THEIR CONNECTION TO EACH OTHER (COOPERATE TO MAINTAIN IT) TO NEGOTIATE INTIMACY USING ‘RAPPORT TALK’ (CONNECT TALK) TALK SHOULD DEAL WITH FEELINGS, PERSONAL IDEAS, BUILD RELATIONSHIPS THEIR “TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED” WORLD IS BASED ON CLOSENESS AND DISTANCE

23. CHARACTERISTICS WOMEN ARE TAUGHT TO: TAKE TURNS IN SPEAKING TO ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW OVERLAP ONLY TO SUPPORT NOT TO GRAB THE FLOOR TO USE RITUALS OF SPEECH TO SHOW CONNECTION TO OTHERS NOT TO COMPETE RITUALLY

24. GENDER BASED COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS: REMINDERS THUS, WHEN MEN AND WOMEN SPEAK TOGETHER THEY MAY SPEAK AT CROSS-PURPOSES THEY HOLD DIFFERENT VIEWS OF RELATIONSHIPS WOMEN: A RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING WHEN YOU CAN DISCUSS IT MEN: IF IT’S WORKING YOU DON’T DISCUSS IT - TALK IS FOR SOLVING PROBLEMS THEY HAVE DIFFERENT MODES OF RITUAL SPEECH

25. CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS NEGOTIATIONS: WOMEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY ASKING HOW OTHERS SEE A PROBLEM MEN OPEN NEGOTIATIONS BY CLAIMING WHAT THEY WANT DOWNPLAY: WOMEN DOWNPLAY CERTAINTY TO BE CONNECTIVE MEN DOWNPLAY DOUBTS TO AVOID ‘ONE-DOWN’ POSITION

26. CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS IDEAS: GIRLS LEARN TO PHRASE THEIR IDEAS AS SUGGESTIONS BOYS LEARN TO GIVE ORDERS WITHOUT REASONS RITUALS: WOMEN USE PHRASE “I’M SORRY’ AS CONNECTIVE RITUAL, MEN INTERPRET AS APOLOGY “SOCIAL LYING” GENDER DIFFERFENCES APPEAR HERE TOO.

27. CHARACTERISTIC COMMUNICATION RITUALS: SOCIAL LYING AND GENDER SOCIAL LYING RESEARCH Strangers in a lab talk together. At the end of the discussion, asked "Did you lie?"...all said "No". A review of the tapes with them afterwards 60% admitted they were lying to others, about 3 lies per 10 minute session. They didn't even realize they were lying Adaptive Unconcscious response We lie more to friends than strangers in order to enhanced our self esteem. We lie in conversations all the time to make things go well Self reports: Both Men and Women lie once or twice a day - in 20% of all exchanges over 10 minutes Those who do it best are those who do it unconsciously and think they are telling the truth at the time. They don’t give themselves away. In general, men tended to lie to make themselves look better while women lied to make others feel better.

28. WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION AND GENDER EXAMPLE : MALE INTERN RISKS THE LIFE OF A PATIENT IN ORDER TO AVOID ASKING SUPERIOR QUESTION ABOUT TREATMENT FEMALE INTERNIST IS RECOGNIZED BY HER PEERS AS BEST BUT RECEIVES A POOR EVALUATION FROM MALE SUPERIOR BECAUSE SHE ASKS ‘MORE QUESTIONS’ Slides 16 and 17 Based on Book by D. Tannen called “Talking From 9 to 5”

29. IMPROVING CROSS-GENDER COMMUNICATION BE CONSCIOUS (MINDFUL) USE DUAL PERSPECTIVE OWN YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS. USE I-LANGUAGE. RESPECT WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND IDEAS USE METACOMMUNICATION