2. Self, Identity and Self Esteem Lecture 10a COMN 2111

3. SITUATED IDENTITY l SITUATED IDENTITY GIVEN BY THE ROLE YOU PLAY IN A SITUATION Presenting SelfPresenting Self "respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour," and "helpful worker""respectful student," "joking friend," "friendly neighbour," and "helpful worker" Same as “Face”Same as “Face”  Line or position you take in an exchange  Emotionally loaded “bit of your self” you transmit as part of communicational transaction l Create roles that reflect how we want others to see us. We often unconsciously act in ways that are really small public performances. We often unconsciously act in ways that are really small public performances.

4. CONVERSATIONAL IDENTITY (Or Face) l As a part of “small public performance” we take a position in conversation l Put some of our emotions on the line as we speak l Others responses to our words our words and non-verbals can cause our “face” to feel enhanced or diminished (or neutral) l This is moment-to-moment management of identity

5. Why Manage Identity l Behavior aimed at making impressions l To follow social rules l To accomplish personal goals PersuadePersuade Relational ChangesRelational Changes

6. HOW WE MANAGE l Manner consists of a communicator's words and nonverbal actions.consists of a communicator's words and nonverbal actions. l Appearance personal items people use to shape an imagepersonal items people use to shape an image l Setting physical items we use to influence how others view usphysical items we use to influence how others view us

7. SELF ESTEEM: A REVIEW l SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF

8. SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF ESTEEM Video Example

9. SELF ESTEEM l SELF-ESTEEM: FEELINGS ABOUT SELF l AM I CAPABLE? (Can I Do Anything Well/Right?) l DO I MATTER? (Am I OK?) l CAN I INFLUENCE MY LIFE? (Do I Have a Choice?) l BASED ON: l PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/ASPIRATIONS l CULTURAL IDEALS l GENETIC PREDISPOSITIONS

10. THREAT TO SELF ESTEEM l Am I capable (Can I do anything well/right?) l Do I matter? Video Example

11. Re-Building Self-Esteem l You are capable. l You do matter. l You do have a choice. Video Example

12. Self Esteem and Communication l Level of self esteem communicated through verbal and non verbal means l Affects the types of relationships we develop and the way we maintain them

13. Changing Esteem Levels l Recognize and shift your beliefs l Remind yourself of your good acts, successes l Choose projects that will let you win l Avoid people who are into unnecessary criticism and fault finding.

15. The Self in Communication: The Psychological Defenses Lecture 10b COMN 2111: COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

16. ANOTHER MODEL OF SELF l FREUD’S MODEL OF SELF l COMPLEMENT’S MEAD’S CONSCIOUS MODEL OF SELF l DEALS WITH UNCONCSCIOUS l THREE PARTS: ID, EGO, SUPEREGO

17. FREUD’S MODEL OF SELF GRATIFY WISHES OF ID GRATIFY WISHES OF ID WITHIN RESTRICTIONS WITHIN RESTRICTIONS OF SUPEREGO OF SUPEREGO REALITY PRINCIPLE REALITY PRINCIPLE THINKING THINKING EGO ETHICAL VALUES MORAL CONSCIENCE EGO IDEAL EGO IDEAL SUPEREGO SUPEREGO SEXUAL, AGGRESSIVE INSTINCTS PLEASURE PRINCIPLE ID ID IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION

18. KEY PERCEPTION AXIOM l IF WE CAN’T ALTER CHALLENGING DATA, WE DISTORT OR IGNORE

19. WORKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS Video Example

20. SELF-CONCEPT AND DEFENSE l BETTER TO DEFEND INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR OR A POOR SELF-CONCEPT THAN TO CHANGE l AVOID ANXIETY, GUILT FEELINGS -PAIN l WHEN WE ARE IN TROUBLE WITH REALITY WE DEFEND OURSELVES BY STAYING HIGH ON THE INFERENCE LADDER!

21. l DENIAL l REFUSE TO ADMIT THREAT IS RELEVANT TO SELF OR ASSUME IT CAN BE POSTPONED l AVOIDANCE l REFUSING TO FACE THREAT; NOT BEING IN SITUATION WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT l RATIONALIZATION l MOST COMMON: MAKING EXCUSES, EXPLAINING AWAY THREATS l INTELLECTUALIZATION l ENGAGING IN DETACHED ANALYSES OF THREATENING PROBLEMS DEFENDING THE CONCEPTUAL SYSTEM OF THE SELF

22. l DISPLACEMENT: INSTINCTUAL ACTIVITY IS REDIRECTED FROM A MORE THREATENING ACTIVITIY TO A LESS THREATENING PERSON, OBJECT. KICKING THE CAT, PICKING ON ONE’S KIDS INSTEAD OF DEALING REAL THREATS. l REPRESSION: BURYING OF THREATENING MOTIVES ORFEELINGS IN NON-CONSCIOUS l PROJECTION: OPPOSITE OF BURYING INSIDE, ATTRIBUTE THREATENING FEELINGS TO SOMEONE ELSE l REGRESSION: REVERT TO EARLIER MORE “CHILDLIKE”STATE, OR EARLIER, LESS THREATENING TIME