1. Chapter Nine Interpersonal Conflict and Communication

2. Chapter Objectives 1.Explain what is meant by a rules approach to dyadic communication. 2.Describe the evolution and principles of transactional analysis. 3.Discuss how a rules approach and transactional analysis can help individuals become more effctive interpersonal communicators. 4.Use rules approaches and/or transactional analysis to improve communication with difficult people in your organization. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

3. A Rules Approach Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © Assumes there are rules which guide communication. Unlike the rules of a game, the rules to communication are implicit, not explicit. Rules seem more apparent when they are violated rather than followed. Rules are guided by the context of interaction.

4. Problems with the Rules Approach Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © 1.It is impossible to predict all the rules that another might bring to the table. 2.Too many people are not willing to accept the challenge of predicting the appropriate rules of communication.

5. Using Rules Approaches Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © Using a rules approach means that one must understand the rules of others and ourselves. –We must imagine how the other thinks and what rules they might have and attend to those rules during interaction. –Sometimes we are so accustomed to counterproductive rules that we cannot see them as counterproductive. We need to evaluate our own rules and the impact of those rules towards effective and appropriate communication.

6. Applying the Rules Approach Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © Think of following the rules as in your best interest. Be aware of your own and other’s behaviors to figure out what the rules are. Understand that rules of interaction are best understood as “If/Then” statements that guide behavior. –e.g. If I am meeting with my boss, then I should (make more eye contact? Have more specific word choice? Use less profanity?)

7. Transactional Analysis Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © Argues that that all interactions are exchanges between a source and receiver. Analyses of interpersonal interactions is based on assessments of these transactions and the ego states of the people involved. Ego states are classified as Parent, Adult, and Child ego states.

8. Ego States Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © The Parent ego state is characterized by judgmental, nurturing, and/or admonishing communication behavior. The Adult ego state is characterized by objective and rational behavior. The Child ego state is characterized by the communicative behavior we would expect from children.

9. Ego States Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © We all exhibit all three ego states at one time or another. When conducting transactional analysis we assess what ego state the source is coming out of and what ego state the source attempts “to hook” or engage.

10. Example of an Ego State Transaction Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © When Mike states, “Brenda, I am soooo overloaded with homework and would really appreciate it if you would fill in for me at work.” Brenda replies, “Sure, I could use the money. What time do you have to be at work?” In the above interaction Mike is coming out of a Child ego state (needy) and is attempting to hook an Adult state (which he does). Brenda’s reply is from an Adult ego state and attempts to hook Mike’s Adult ego state. What ego state would Brenda be in if she answered, “You shouldn’t overload yourself all the time like that! I’ll do it, but I’m not happy about it!” What ego state would she be trying to hook?

11. Ego States Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © As you can see, the determination of what ego state depends not only on what is said, but also on how it is said. – Paralingual (vocal tone), oculesic (eye contact), kinesic (body motion), and proxemic (spatial) factors are all part of the determination.

12. Types of Transactions Complementary transactions –When a person’s attempt to hook a receiver’s specific ego state is successful, and the receiver “completes” the transaction by attempting to hook the source’s original ego state. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

13. Types of Transactions Example Complementary transaction (Figure 9.2) Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

14. Types of Transactions Crossed transactions (Figure 9.3) –When one person attempts to hook a certain ego state but gets another. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

15. Types of Transactions Ulterior transactions (Figure 9.3) –Deceptive or manipulative transitions that hook ego states indirectly. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

16. Communication Modes Rituals or phatic communication –Characterized by small-talk exchanges. –Are intended to acknowledge another’s existence more than anything else. Pastimes are nonsubstantive transactions that are used to pass the time. Withdrawal is a communication mode in which a person attempts to avoid interpersonal transactions. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

17. Communication Modes Games refer to a communication mode that is typified by ulterior transactions. –The goal is manipulation. –Communication is deceptive. Ingenuous Communication is open, honest, and substantive communication. –It may or may not facilitate effective communication. –Some people are put off by ingenuous communication because it is so unusual. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © (continued)

18. Scripts and Scripting We are bombarded with messages growing up. We take ownership of the philosophies of these messages without questioning them shifting them from our Child to our Adult. When we express a point of view that we never questioned, we are engaged in scripting. –These messages don’t actually reflect our own philosophies, but those of others. –Scripts don’t have to be verbal, but can be nonverbal or paralingual as well. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

19. Examples of Scripts John spanks his children because he was spanked growing up, but openly abhors violence on television as bad for society. Heather believes that it is her husband’s job to change the tire if it goes flat. Joe votes a straight Democratic ticket because he has always been a Democrat. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

20. Contracts A contract is a specific technique for improving interpersonal communication with individual others. –It involves working through a series of steps to try and improve communication between people. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

21. Seven Steps to Improve Communication 1.Identify the communication problem in terms of TA terminology. 2.Specify a strategy to deal with the problem in terms of relevant communication factors. 3.Practice role playing with a friend. 4.Interact with the person. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©

22. Seven Steps to Improve Communication 5.Subsequent to the interaction, play your (cerebral) “tapes” of the conversations, and diagram a transactional analysis of the communications. 6.If necessary, go back to step 2 and reevaluate the strategy. 7.Continue with steps 3-6 until satisfied with changes when communicating with the other person. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 © (continued)

23. Concluding Transactional Analysis Transactional Analyses take time and using them to improve communication takes effort and commitment. Rewards for undertaking the seven steps to improve communication include –changing of abrasive communication patterns –more effective and appropriate communication –increased satisfaction in interpersonal relationships. Organizational Communication: Foundations for Business and Management, 2e Thomson, 2006 ©