1. Writing Welcome to Lesson #23 Today you will learn: 1.To evaluate your 1 st draft. 2.To give feedback on peer work. 3.To take new ideas to revise and edit for your final draft. The Persuasive Essay

2. Writing The Persuasive Essay √ Evaluate your first draft Requirement: Before you can revise or edit your essay you should put it away for at least a day before looking it over again.

3. Writing The Persuasive Essay Revisions Remember revising is making changes to what you wrote. Those changes could be taking out parts that don’t work very well, or adding parts that help your writing to be more effective or clear to the reader.

4. Writing The Persuasive Essay Example of revision from 1 st draft to final draft: My grandmother is really nice to me, but she has to be really, really old. I mean she is my mother’s mother, and my mother is ancient. But when I am with my grandmother, we always have a

5. Writing The Persuasive Essay 1 st draft continued: good time. We do neat things together. Maybe being old is not so bad. What changes could we make to this paragraph for it to improve?

6. Writing √ Final draft: The Persuasive Essay My grandmother is really nice to me, very nice, but she has to be really, really old. I mean After all, she is my mother’s mother, and my mother’s is ancient. But When

7. Writing √ Final draft: The Persuasive Essay I am with my grandmother her, however, I we always have a good time. We do neat things together. We play the piano, go for walks, talk about how wonderful God is, and God’s plans for my life. I always feel good when I am with her. Maybe being old is not so bad.

8. Writing √ Final draft: The Persuasive Essay My grandmother is wise. I love my grandmother no matter how old she is! What changes were made to make this paragraph better?

9. Writing √ Final draft changes: The Persuasive Essay 1. More detail was added that allowed the reader to know what things they did together. Remember to be specific. This helps explain why she loves her grandmother. What changes was made to make this paragraph better?

10. Writing √ Final draft changes: The Persuasive Essay 2. Sentences were rewritten to be more concise and clear. For example, extra unnecessary words were deleted and new words or phrases were added to bring clarity. What changes was made to make this paragraph better?

11. Writing √ Final draft changes: The Persuasive Essay 3. A closing sentence was added that commented back to how old her grandmother is. This brings strong closure for the reader and is effective. What changes was made to make this paragraph better?

12. Writing The changes we made are called: REVISIONS Why? The Persuasive Essay Parts were added, taken out or changed so the finished product is the way you want it to be- your best work.

13. Writing It is time for you to work on REVISIONS with your essay. The Persuasive Essay Remember to follow the Revisions Checklist first. You can use the Editing Checklist at the very end.

14. Writing Remember the toolbox tools to support your revision work. What language could you use to persuade your readers? The Persuasive Essay Toolbox Persuasive-Writing-Words Transitions

15. Writing Revision Checklist The Persuasive Essay Tools you will use: Editing Checklist

16. Writing The Persuasive Essay Peer Feedback Or Adult Coaching Feedback Guideline This should provide feedback to help you develop your writing.

17. Writing The Persuasive Essay Peer Feedback Or Adult Coaching Feedback Guideline Tip: Remember, you are the writer. The suggestions are just that - suggestions. They are to help you. you can choose not to use the suggestions-for good reasons.

18. Writing The Persuasive Essay Peer Feedback Or Adult Coaching Feedback Guideline However, you should be ready to accept constructive feedback, too. If you are unclear, make sure you ask the reviewer questions.

19. Writing Peer Feedback Or Adult Coaching Always thank the person reviewing your writing. They are helping you. If they don’t understand something you wrote, that means you need to make it clearer. Keep notes on your paper so you can go back and revise one more time.

20. Writing Peer Feedback Or Adult Coaching Your hard work and effort pays off! Your final draft of your essay is now ready for editing ! Follow the editing checklist. It will help you remember what to look for. Don’t forget your toolbox support!

21. Writing Self-Assessment Rubric It is time to evaluate your work! How would you score your work based on the attached rubric ? What is a rubric? Rubric for Self-Assessment

22. Reading is Thinking Practice: Read the following passage: Genesis 17:1-22, The Message Respond in your journal on the following: 1.What is the main idea of this passage? (Make sure you support your opinion by using the text.)

23. 2. What connections did you make with this chapter? What questions do you have? Share your connections and questions in the Discussion Forum with others taking this course! Here are some questions I want you to reflect on in your journal:

24. A.What do you think God meant when he said, “…live entirely before me, live to the hilt!”? B.Why do you think God changed Abram’s name to Abraham and Sarai’s name to Sarah? C.What do you think it means that nations will come through Sarah? Remember to support your answers and show your thinking!

25. Writing Good-Bye, until next time! I look forward to teaching you how to analyze polysyllabic words in Lesson 24. Until then, keep writing! Write anything you want- free write ! Keep up your reading! Use the CROPQV to show reading is thinking!