1. CBTG CBTG presents presents Effective Communication at Work

2. Why Emotional Intelligence Matters Emotional Intelligence is the greatest predictor of success (outdistancing IQ and job experience) in every occupation, every industry and every organizational level. People with Emotional Intelligence are happier because they have:  Realistic self-assessment  Greater self-acceptance  Larger support and friendship networks Employees with Emotional Intelligence produce more effective organizations  Employees oExperience less stress oWork better with co-workers, customers and bosses oPerform better on teams oTake more responsibility for their behavior and work product oAre more willing to learn and grow  Leaders oManager their job stress more effectively oMake better decisions oWork more productively with people at all levels in the organization oHandle their authority constructively oDesign more productive organizations © 2005 Bogda & Associates

3. The Centers of Intelligence Head (Mental) Center Use: Planning, Insight, Analysis Misuse: Over-analysis, Analysis-paralysis, Projection Underlying Concern: Fear (Enneagram Styles 5, 6, and 7 ) Body (Instinctual) Center Use: Movement, Action, Gut-knowing Misuse: Over-action, Under-action, Excessiveness Underlying Concern: Anger, Control (Enneagram Styles 8, 9, and 1) Heart (Emotional) Center Use: Relationships, Compassion, Affection Misuse: Oversensitivity, Hard-heartedness, Emotional Manipulation Underlying Concern: Image, Sorrow (Enneagram Styles 2, 3, and 4) © 2005 Bogda & Associates Head Heart Body

4. Enneagram Symbol ©2005 Bogda & Associates

5. The 9 Enneagram Styles Ones seek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and everyone and everything around them. Sixes have insightful minds, are prone to worry, and create worst-case scenarios to help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong. Twos want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives. Sevens crave the stimulation of new ideas, people, and experiences, create elaborate future plans that will allow them to keep all of their options open, and avoid pain. Threes organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others. Eights pursue the truth, like to keep situations under control, want to make important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability. Fours desire deep connections both with their own interior worlds and with other people, and they feel most alive when they authentically express their feelings. Nines seek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard and dislike conflict, tension and ill will. Fives thirst for information and knowledge and use emotional detachment as a way of keeping involvement with others to a minimum. © 2005 Bogda & Associates

6. Is everything under control in an effective and just way? What is right or wrong, correct or incorrect? Will others like me? Am I needed? How can I gain the respect and esteem of others? Can I express myself? Will I be rejected or feel deficient? Will demands be made on me for my time, energy, and resources? What could go wrong here? Whom can I trust? Am I making the best decisions? What is exciting? Do I feel constrained? Can I avoid pain? Is everyone being heard, including me? Enneagram Style Focus of Attention © 2005 Bogda & Associates

7. Heart Center: Concerned with image, importance, competition, relationships, feelings, empathy, ability to read between the lines Twos: create image of likeability, look to others for affirmation of self worth Threes: work to project image of success, seeking respect and admiration of others for their accomplishments Fours: create image of being special or unique using emotional sensitivity to defend against rejection Twos: create image of likeability, look to others for affirmation of self worth Threes: work to project image of success, seeking respect and admiration of others for their accomplishments Fours: create image of being special or unique using emotional sensitivity to defend against rejection

8. Type Three How can I gain the respect and esteem of others? Areas of Strength: Success oriented High energy Read audience well Overcome problems Optimistic Entrepreneurial Confident Accomplish results Areas of Strength: Success oriented High energy Read audience well Overcome problems Optimistic Entrepreneurial Confident Accomplish results Areas for Development: Overly competitive Not always forthcoming Abrupt Hide deep level feelings Become overextended Limited time for personal relationships Impatient with others’ feelings Believe image is true self

9. Type Two Where attention goes: Am I needed? Will others like me? Areas of strength: Empathic Supportive and generous Optimistic Likeable Responsible/hardworking Insight into others’ needs Motivate others Practical Areas of strength: Empathic Supportive and generous Optimistic Likeable Responsible/hardworking Insight into others’ needs Motivate others Practical Areas for development Accommodating Indirect Difficulty saying “no” Angry when unappreciated Unaware of own needs Overemphasize relationship Overextend/do for others Enraged when others mistreated

10. Type Four Will I be rejected or feel deficient? Can I express myself? Areas of Strength Seeking meaning through interpersonal connection Inspiring Creative Introspective Expressive Intuitive Compassionate Search for excellence Areas of Strength Seeking meaning through interpersonal connection Inspiring Creative Introspective Expressive Intuitive Compassionate Search for excellence Areas for Development Intense Self conscious Moody Easily bored Guilt ridden Difficulty accepting criticism Aloof Deeply critical of others

11. Head Center Five, Six, Seven Concerned with inquiry, doubt, information, knowledge, ideas, concepts, imagination, visualization Fives: withdraw, retreat into minds Sixes: anticipate negative scenarios, plan alternatives to circumvent what could go wrong Sevens: run from worry very quickly into planning for interesting, pleasurable opportunities, perspectives Concerned with inquiry, doubt, information, knowledge, ideas, concepts, imagination, visualization Fives: withdraw, retreat into minds Sixes: anticipate negative scenarios, plan alternatives to circumvent what could go wrong Sevens: run from worry very quickly into planning for interesting, pleasurable opportunities, perspectives

12. Type Six What could go wrong here? Whom can I trust? Areas of strength Loyal Responsible Practical Collaborative Strategic Sharp intellect Persevering Anticipate problems Areas of strength Loyal Responsible Practical Collaborative Strategic Sharp intellect Persevering Anticipate problems Areas for development: Wary Worrying Overly compliant/overly defiant Dislike ambiguity Analysis paralysis Project one’s thoughts onto others Defensive Martyring

13. Type Five: Will demands be made on me for my time, energy and resources? Areas of Strength: Analytic Insightful Objective Systematic Thorough planning Excellence in crises Persistent Expert Areas of Strength: Analytic Insightful Objective Systematic Thorough planning Excellence in crises Persistent Expert Areas for development: Detached Aloof Overly independent Unassertive Underemphasize relationships Don’t share information Stubborn Critical of others

14. Type Seven What is interesting? Do I feel constrained? Can I avoid pain/boredom? Areas of Strength Imaginative/creative Enthusiastic Curious Engaging Multitasking Upbeat Quick, synthetic thinker Connect disparate data Areas of Strength Imaginative/creative Enthusiastic Curious Engaging Multitasking Upbeat Quick, synthetic thinker Connect disparate data Areas for development Impulsive Unfocused Rebellious Avoid painful situations Inconsistent empathy Reactive to negative feedback Rationalize negative experience Dislike routine

15. Body Center: Concerned with physical survival, justice and control, strength and weakness, physical space, structure, action Ones: Anger, though deep often manifests a frequent irritation followed by flares of resentment. Tend toward self criticism which is anger turned inward Eights: express anger frequently and directly. Begins in gut, moves up and out—stimulated by various events such as injustice done to someone, weakness in others, someone lying Nines: anger “gone to sleep” lies deep below surface. Activated when Nine feels ignored or forced to do something in which anger may turn to passive aggressive behavior. Avoid direct anger and conflict. Ones: Anger, though deep often manifests a frequent irritation followed by flares of resentment. Tend toward self criticism which is anger turned inward Eights: express anger frequently and directly. Begins in gut, moves up and out—stimulated by various events such as injustice done to someone, weakness in others, someone lying Nines: anger “gone to sleep” lies deep below surface. Activated when Nine feels ignored or forced to do something in which anger may turn to passive aggressive behavior. Avoid direct anger and conflict.

16. Type Nine: Is everyone being heard, including me? Areas of strength Diplomatic Assimilate big picture through attention operational details Easygoing Consistent Inclusive/collaborative Patient Supportive of others Develop lasting relationships Areas of strength Diplomatic Assimilate big picture through attention operational details Easygoing Consistent Inclusive/collaborative Patient Supportive of others Develop lasting relationships Areas for development Avoid conflict Unassertive Forget priorities Procrastinate Passive aggressive when pushed Indecisive Uncertain Low energy

17. Type Eight: Is everything under control in a fair, just way? Areas of Strength Direct Self confident/authoritative Highly strategic Overcome obstacles Energetic Protective of others Move project forward Support others’ success Areas of Strength Direct Self confident/authoritative Highly strategic Overcome obstacles Energetic Protective of others Move project forward Support others’ success Areas of Development Controlling Demanding High expectations of self and others Impatient Agitated with slow pace Feel used when others don’t perform as expected Disdain weakness

18. Type One What is right/wrong, correct/incorrect? Areas of Strength Lead by example Strive for equality Pursue perfection Organized Consistent Perceptive Honest Practical Areas of Strength Lead by example Strive for equality Pursue perfection Organized Consistent Perceptive Honest Practical Areas for Development Reactive Overly critical Defend when criticized Unaware of one’s own anger Detail focused Controlling Opinionated Impatient

19. Enneagram and Communication

20. Communication pitfalls  Talking too much  Using jargon  Missing opportunities for empathic connection  Projection  Fail to elicit patient values, concerns, goals  Make promises you can’t keep  Talking too much  Using jargon  Missing opportunities for empathic connection  Projection  Fail to elicit patient values, concerns, goals  Make promises you can’t keep

21. Sender Distortions  Body language—posture, facial expression, hand gestures, body movements, energy levels, many more  Speaking style—pattern by which we talk, what do we talk about  Blind spots—unconscious and unintentional information we convey to other people that is visible to them but not to us  Body language—posture, facial expression, hand gestures, body movements, energy levels, many more  Speaking style—pattern by which we talk, what do we talk about  Blind spots—unconscious and unintentional information we convey to other people that is visible to them but not to us

22. Receiver Distortions  Distorting filters—unconscious mental models or assumptions that alter what we hear others say

23. Blind Spot Exercise

24. Sender Receiver Communication Model

25. Practices for Receptive Listening  Awareness of your filters  One distortion at a time  When you notice you are not receptively listening, take a deep breath and bring your attention back to speaker  Awareness of your filters  One distortion at a time  When you notice you are not receptively listening, take a deep breath and bring your attention back to speaker

26. Practices for Effective Speaking  Awareness of your filter  Choose one distortion at a time  Be compassionate with yourself  Work with a coach who will give you honest feedback  Solicit feedback from someone you trust and respect  Presence  Awareness of your filter  Choose one distortion at a time  Be compassionate with yourself  Work with a coach who will give you honest feedback  Solicit feedback from someone you trust and respect  Presence

27.  Website: www.lesliehershberger.com www.lesliehershberger.com  E-mail: leslie@lesliehershberger.comleslie@lesliehershberger.com  Cell: 513-543-7720  Website: www.lesliehershberger.com www.lesliehershberger.com  E-mail: leslie@lesliehershberger.comleslie@lesliehershberger.com  Cell: 513-543-7720