1. Essay Assignment: Describing Your Hero
Descriptive Writing
Essay Assignment:
Describing Your Hero

2. Observe Details Start with your memory
Catch the reader’s attention by using every memory you have about this person
List every detail you can think of

3. Literature Model
She saw the morning mist settling like puffs of smoke scattered over the range of mountains that surrounded the entire countryside. Sharp mountainous peaks and curves covered with many shades of green foliage that changed constantly from light to dark, intense or soft tones, depending on the time of day and the direction of the rays of the brilliant tropical sun. Ah, the path, she smiled, following the road that led to her village. Lali inhaled the sweet and spicy fragrance of the flower gardens that sprinkled the countryside in abundance.
Nicholasa Mohr, In Nueva York

4. What words does the writer use to help you see the changing mountains?
Rewrite the description, omitting the descriptive language.
How does omitting the descriptive language change the passage.

5. Omit the descriptive language
She saw the mist and the mountains. When she saw the path, she smiled Lali inhaled the smell of the garden.
Which paints a more vivid picture?

6. Sensory Details
When listing details, use your five senses: sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste
Bring your hero to life by describing all aspects of him or her
Remember ”The Drummer Boy of Shiloh” Joby said the General smelt of tobacco, leather, etc…..just like a father should smell.

7. “Show, Don’t Tell” or Writing with the Senses
What do you see? What details could your share or comparisons could you make that would reflect the details you can see?
What texture or consistency can you feel by touch?
What sounds can you hear? What dialogue or noises do you hear?

8. What tastes can you describe? What did you say?
What odors or fragrances can you smell?
What are the thoughts of your characters?
What are the feelings of the characters? What happened that made them feel that way? What changes do they experience during the story?

9. You are far from home, traveling in another country
You are far from home, traveling in another country. The landscape you see is rich with contrasts of vibrant color. The building where you are staying overlooks lush gardens, and from your room you can see the garden, as well as, buildings and hills in the distance. Write a letter to a friend or relative back home, and describe the view from your window.
Dear __________,
Sincerely,
__________________

10. Precise Language Be exact Say what you mean
Use precise nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs

11. Sharp mountainous peaks…
Grammar Link
Use vivid adjectives to describe people, places, and things.
Sharp mountainous peaks…
Complete each sentence below with two vivid adjectives.
They enjoyed the __________dinner.
The _________ players left the arena.
It was late on a ___________summer evening
She smiled when she heard the _________music.
We neared the __________mountains.

12. Spatial Order Arrange details so reader can imagine the person clearly
Use transitions words
Go in order of describing the hero’s personal traits, why he/she is your hero, and how you could be more like him/her

13. TRANSITION WORDS
To improve your writing you need to make sure that your ideas, both in sentences and paragraphs, stick together or have coherence and that the gap between ideas is bridged smoothly. One way to do this is by using transitions - words or phrases or techniques that help bring two ideas together. Transitional words and phrases represent one way of gaining coherence. Certain words help continue an idea, indicate a shift of thought or contrast, or sum up a conclusion. Check the following list of words to find those that will pull your sentences and paragraphs together.

14. For continuing a common line of reasoning:
consequently clearly, then furthermore additionally and in addition moreover because besides that in the same way following this further also pursuing this further in the light of the... it is easy to see that
To change the line of reasoning (contrast):
however on the other hand but yet nevertheless on the contrary

15. For opening a paragraph initially or for general use:
admittedly assuredly certainly granted no doubt nobody denies obviously of course to be sure true undoubtedly unquestionably generally speaking in general at this level in this situation
For the final points of a paragraph or essay:
finally lastly

16. Transitional chains, to use in separating sections of a paragraph which is arranged chronologically:
first... second... third... generally... furthermore... finally in the first place... also... lastly in the first place... pursuing this further... finally to be sure... additionally... lastly in the first place... just in the same way... finally basically... similarly... as well
To signal conclusion:
therefore this hence in final analysis in conclusion in final consideration indeed

17. To restate a point within a paragraph in another way or in a more exacting way:
in other words point in fact specifically
 Sequence or time
after afterwards as soon as at first at last before before long finally first... second... third in the first place in the meantime later meanwhile next soon then

18. Describing a Person Paint a portrait of your hero
Include his or her appearance, personality, and attitudes
Use sensory details, precise language, clear organization, and strong transitions