1. Planning a Family
Chapter 10

2. Objectives
List six things that parents are responsible for providing to their children
Name four characteristics that indicate personal readiness for becoming a parent
Summarize why parents might have a hard time adjusting to their new roles as parents
Identify four basic problems teen parents will face
List three options available to teen parents

3. Rewards and Responsibilities
Rewards of Parenting
Welcoming a child into the world can bring great joy
Parents develop new skills, strengths and understanding of their child, spouses and themselves
Parents often feel happiness and love that they have never felt before
Children can also enrich an already strong marriage

4. Rewards and Responsibilities
Responsibilities of Parenting
Parents are responsible for providing:
Constant Care
Love
Security
Shelter
Guidance
Financial Support
- Each stage of childhood is different, requiring parents to constantly meet new challenges

5. Parenting Roles Parents often play the roles of: Housekeeper Cook
Chauffer
Friend
Playmate
Coach
Tutor
Counselor
- Caring for children is a 24-hour a day job, the responsibility can not be put aside for a while

6. Parenting Roles
Parents also have the responsibility of being good role models
Whether they realize it or not, children are constantly observing their values, character traits and skills in their everyday actions
For better or worse, children will pattern themselves after the examples set by their parents
What values have you learned from your parents? Both good and bad?

7. Ideas About Parenthood
Unrealistic Ideas
Realistic Reasons
I’m lonely. A child will love me.
Our marriage is strong and we’re ready to become parents.
I feel unimportant, a baby will attract attention and I’ll be noticed.
I am willing to put someone else’s needs ahead of my own.
My parents want us to have a child.
I’m secure in who I am and will work hard to be a good parent.
My relationship with my spouse/partner is shaky, a child will make it stronger.
We know hat we’re taking on, and we accept the responsibility
I’m afraid of the future, a child will care for me when I’m old.
We are emotionally and financially ready to have a family of our own.

8. Readiness for Parenting
Parenting is a lifelong, life-changing commitment
The decision to have a child needs to be backed up by sound reasoning
A child CAN NOT fix problems or weaknesses in your life
Children deserve to be born to parents who are ready for parenthood
People need to analyze their parenting readiness – which is their level of preparation

9. Readiness for Parenting
Emotional Readiness
Emotional Maturity means being responsible enough to consistently put someone else’s needs before your own.
Emotionally Mature parents have the inner resources to put the needs of their child before their own
They have patience, sensitivity, self-control, and self-confidence
If parents cannot cope with their own emotions, they will have trouble handling a child’s emotions

10. Readiness for Parenting
Financial Readiness
Raising a child is expensive, couples should assess their financial readiness to become parents
They need to determine how they will manage immediate and long-term costs of raising a child
Questions couples should ask themselves include
Will there need to be spending cuts?
Will we need a larger living space?
Can we afford for one parent to stay home?
How much will child care cost if both parents work?

11. Readiness for Parenting
Personal Readiness
Management Skills
Parents need to know how to use their time, money and energy wisely.
Flexibility
Parents who are flexible are better able to meet daily challenges. At a moments notice, parents might need to clean up a spill, take care of an argument or head to the hospital.
Willingness to Sacrifice
Parents often need to sacrifice their time, money and personal interests for their children.
Consistency
Parents need the maturity to behave consistently. Establishing and enforcing rules, routines and limits help children feel secure and understand their boundaries

12. Adjusting to Parenthood
The Mother’s Recovery
Not only is there a physical recovery, but many women also experience bouts of depression and anxiety – the rush of hormones can make new mothers feel emotional
A newborn needs to be fed and changed times a day, around the clock
Adjusting as a Couple
A father may feel like an outsider when the mother and baby get a lot of the attention
Studies show marital satisfaction often decreases after the birth of a baby
Spouses tend to fight more and show each other less affection
Couples who acknowledge and deal with the challenges are more likely to experience a stronger marriage
Planning Ahead
The decision to become parents deserves careful thought and discussion – the couple should discuss how they will handle the demands of parenting along with their other responsibilities and goals.

13. Reflection Part I
On a separate piece of paper, answer each of the following questions on a separate piece of paper:
Identify three rewards of parenting
Summarize the different aspects of a readiness new parents have to deal with.
Describe why new parents tend to be very tired.

14. Consequences of Teenage Pregnancy
Adjusting to parenthood can be hard for anyone, but especially hard for teens
Teen parents face difficulties that parents in their 20’s and 30’s do not
Most teens are not mature enough, physically, emotionally or financially
Teen parenthood has predictable consequences. The four basic types of problems are
Health risks
Education challenges
Financial Issues
Emotional and Social stress

15. Health Risks
One complication teen mothers are more at risk for is an iron deficiency which deprives the baby and mother of oxygen
Babies born to teen mothers are more likely to be premature – which means born before 37 weeks
They are also more likely to have a low birth weight (less than 5lbs 8 ounces)
Premature babies run greater risks for serious health problems such as vision and hearing loss, respiratory problems, learning disabilities and mental retardation.

16. Health Risks
A female teen has high nutritional needs, when she becomes pregnant there must be an extra emphasis on nutrition to help the baby grow
Many teens put off getting medical care because they do not want to face the fact they are pregnant – however – those who take proper care of themselves have a great chance of having a healthy baby

17. Babies Born to Teen Parents
Tend to have:
Less supportive and stimulating home environments
Have higher rates of behavioral problems
More likely to be neglected and abused because their teen parents do not know how to handle the stress and emotions of being a parent
More likely to become teen parents themselves

18. Education Challenges
It is important for teen parents to finish their schooling, at least through high school
Unfortunately, many drop out to support themselves and their baby
Nearly HALF of all teen mothers who drop out never return to finish their diploma
Without a diploma it is hard to make enough money to support a family, and in turn puts the burden on society to help the family.

19. Financial Issues/Emotional Stress
Most teen parents experience financial problems
It is important to determine Paternity, the legal identification of a man as the father, it legally ensures he is responsible even if he decides to not be a part of the child’s life
Teen parents do not have the freedom or money to hang out with friends as much as their peers do
Teens realize quickly that they must give up a lot to be a good parent

20. Teen Parenting Options
Marriage
Most people would agree that a strong and successful marriage benefits parents and their children
Adoption
Closed adoption – is an adoption in which the birth parents do not know the names of the adoptive parents
Open adoption – is an adoption where the birth parents and adoptive parents know something about each other
Single Parent
Teens considering single parenthood need to be realistic and ask the right questions
Single teen parents can be successful, but it is not an easy road