1. © 2007 Thomson South-Western Multimedia Instructor Version CHAPTER 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

2. Chapter 1, Slide 2 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e The Writing Process

3. Chapter 4, Slide 3 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Improving content and sentence structure—may involve adding, cutting, recasting Improving content and sentence structure—may involve adding, cutting, recasting Correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics Correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics Proofreading Revising

4. Chapter 1, Slide 4 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Memo Revised for Conciseness

5. Chapter 4, Slide 5Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Concise Wording Revise your messages to eliminate wordiness. Instead of this We are of the opinion that Please feel free to In addition to the above At this point in time Despite the fact that Try this We think Please Also Now Although

6. Chapter 4, Slide 6 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e ConciseWritingEliminates Wordy Prepositional Phrases Long Lead-Ins Outdated Expressions Needless Adverbs Fillers Redundant Words JargonSlangClichés

7. Chapter 4, Slide 7Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Wordy Prepositional Phrases Instead of this We don’t as a general rule cash personal checks. Students in very few instances receive parking tickets. She calls meetings on a monthly basis. Try this We don’t generally cash personal checks. Students seldom get parking tickets. She calls monthly meetings.

8. Chapter 4, Slide 8Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Long Lead-Ins Instead of this This memo is to inform you that all employees meet today. I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted. Try this All employees meet today. Thanks to everyone who voted.

9. Chapter 4, Slide 9Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Outdated Expressions Outdated as per your request pursuant to your request attached hereunto under separate cover Modern at your request attached separately

10. Chapter 4, Slide 10Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Needless Adverbs To sound more credible and to streamline your writing, avoid excessive use of adverbs such as definitely, quite, really, and actually. Try this The manager is pleased with your proposal because the plan is workable. Instead of this The manager is actually quite pleased with your proposal because the plan is definitely workable.

11. Chapter 4, Slide 11Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e FillersFillers Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there and it when used merely to take up space. Instead of this There are two employees who should be promoted. It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored. Try this Two employees should be promoted. Lisa and Jeff were honored.

12. Chapter 4, Slide 12Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Redundant Words Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions? advance warning close proximity exactly identical filled to capacity final outcome necessary requisite new beginning past history refer back serious danger

13. Chapter 4, Slide 13Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e JargonJargon Avoid technical terms and special terminology that readers would not recognize. Computer jargon queue export bandwidth Alternative language list of documents waiting to be printed transfer data from one program to another Internet capacity Is jargon ever permissible?

14. Chapter 4, Slide 14Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e SlangSlang Avoid slang (informal expressions with arbitrary or extravagantly changed meanings). to “bag on” clueless turkey chill/chill out to tease, to nag, or to complain unaware, naïve someone stupid or silly relax

15. Chapter 4, Slide 15Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e ClichésClichés Avoid clichés (overused expressions). Substitute more precise words. Instead of this Last but not least, you should keep your nose to the grindstone. We had reached the end of our rope. Try this Finally, you should work diligently. We could go no further.

16. Chapter 4, Slide 16 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e The Best BusinessWriting Uses Precise Verbs Avoids Wordy Verb/Noun Conversions Uses Concrete Nouns Includes Vivid Adjectives

17. Chapter 4, Slide 17Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e What to Watch for in Proofreading  Spelling  Grammar  Punctuation  Names and numbers  Format

18. Chapter 4, Slide 18 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e Proofreading Marks

19. Chapter 4, Slide 19 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e

20. Chapter 4, Slide 20Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e How to Proofread Complex Documents  Allow adequate time.  Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.  Be prepared to find errors.  Read once for meaning and once for grammar/mechanics.  Reduce your reading speed.

21. Chapter 1, Slide 21 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 7e For documents that must be perfect:  Have someone read aloud the original while someone else checks the printout.  Spell names.  Spell difficult words.  Note capitalization.  Note punctuation.