1. Moreno Valley High School January 2013
CAHSEE Academy
Moreno Valley High School
January 2013

2. Writing Strategies Coherence What exactly are writing strategies?
“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...”
Lawrence Clark Powell
Writing
Strategies
Precise
Language
Active
and Passive
Voice
Transition
Sentence Variety
Coherence
Unity

3. CAHSEE Writing Strategies
12 test questions that ask you to find and correct errors and choose better words and phrases. They are based on a rough draft of an essay or article.
In this section, you do not have to write any essays, but you have to answer multiple choice questions about editing and revising essays.

4. Writing Strategies
During this section of the academy we will review the basics of good writing.
This section will also help you write your essays.
You may be asked in the multiple choice section of the test to determine if an essay has an effective thesis. This transfers to your own writing, because you know that effective thesis statement will help organize your essay.

5. Questions may begin, “which sentence would best begin this essay” or “which of the following sentences do not fit well in the paragraph”.

6. Please Review the example titled “Essay Writing”
Decide which correction is most accurate.
What did you do in order to make your decision?
How do you answer this sort of question?
There are two major areas in which these example paragraphs or short essays will need revision. The types of changes will either be for:
Coherence or
Unity
Everything belongs; there are no sentences or phrases that are unnecessary.
Things fit together in a logical and
clear way; nothing is missing.

7. Remember this! Think of what a teacher with a red pen may choose.
The test is looking for standard English grammar, spelling, and sentence structure.

8. Coherence
There are many factors that make up a coherent piece of writing:
Appropriate transitions: The last sentence in a paragraph introduces the next paragraph.
Sentence Variety: Make sure not all of your sentences begin with “The”or “A”.
Precise language: Use the language that best explains what you are trying to say.
Appropriate verb form: Use active voice and the correct tense of a verb.

9. Transitions
Readers want to know when changes are coming or when important points are going to be made. Transitions give us this information.
Transitions are words and phrases that serve as bridges from one idea to the next, one sentence to the next, or one paragraph to the next.
Without them, sentences and paragraphs come across as choppy - - as just a list of points or facts that have no connection with one another.

10. Sentence Variety
Readers become bored with words and sentences that never vary.
Weak writing often contains short, choppy sentences, in which the same pattern is repeated over and over again.
Examples of choppy sentences:
Ramona is my best friend. She lives across the street.
Carolyn is a high school senior. She will be graduating in June.
There is no variety in the structure of the above sentences. Notice that in almost every sentence, the pattern remains the same. This repetitive pattern makes the writing seem choppy.
Combine these sentences.
You will need commas to properly insert the added information (appositive).
Evelyn is a cheer leader at Douglass High School. She is dating a college junior.

11. Other ways to combine sentences
Sentences can be combined by using three punctuation marks:
the hyphen (-)
the colon (:)
the semi-colon (;)
You can also use coordinating conjunctions:
for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
These conjunctions are used to combine clauses that are grammatically parallel (the same order of word types).
REMEMBER F.A.N.B.O.Y.S.

12. Practice: Choose the answer that is the most
effective substitute for each underlined part of the
sentence. If no substitution is necessary, choose
“Leave as is.”
I expect you to finish the work by three, however,
if it takes longer, call me.
(A) three however, if it takes longer, call me.
(B) three: however, if it takes longer, call me.
(C) three; however, if it takes longer, call me.
(D) Leave as is.

13. Solution:
What punctuation mark joins the two thoughts into one sentence?
A semicolon joins them, since they are both independent clauses that stand on their own but are related.
The semi-colon prevents run-ons if used correctly.
The correct answer is (C).
(A) three however, if it takes longer, call me.
(B) three: however, if it takes longer, call me.
(C) three; however, if it takes longer, call me.
(D) Leave as is.

14. Precise Language Use specific words.
General terms, such as “nice,” “good,” or “thing” are overused and make the writing dry and uninteresting.
Example: The man is good.
How is the man good? Is he compassionate? Is he generous? Is he equitable? Merely stating that he is good does not tell the reader very much.
Effective writers use precise and descriptive terms. They choose words that are specific and that most closely capture their intended meaning.
On the CAHSEE, you will be given passages that use common, overused words and asked to substitute them with more precise and descriptive terms.

15. Practice
Refer to the “Shower of Light” article in your materials and answer the questions concerning precise language.

16. Active vs. Passive Voice
The Active Form of the Verb
Strong writers use the active form of the verb whenever possible. Sentences written in the active voice are usually clearer and more concise than those written in the passive voice.
Active Verb: The pitcher threw the ball.
Passive Verb: The ball was thrown by the pitcher
To understand the concept of the active and passive voice, we need to identify the “agent” of the sentence. The agent performs the action.
Example: Melinda bought the bike.
What action is being performed? Answer: Buying the bike
Who is performing the action? Answer: Melinda
Melinda is the agent. She is the one who is performing the action (buying the bike.)

17. Practice!

18. Practice

19. Reminders about Coherence
We have focused on sentence variety, transitions, precise language, and verb forms in this first section. Here are some reminders about these aspects of writing.
Appropriate transitions: Transitions allow writing to logically follow from one thought to the next.
Sentence Variety: Make sure not all of your sentences follow the same format, as this becomes boring for the reader.
Precise language: Use the language that best explains what you are trying to say.
Appropriate verb form: Use active voice and the correct tense of a verb.

20. Unity In a well-unified essay, every word contributes to its purpose.
That purpose should be clear to the reader.
There are no irrelevant details that take away from that purpose.
Please refer to the example letter in your student packets.
Read over the letter and discuss the questions on the following page.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of this writing?

23. Practice
Also from “Shower of Light”

24. Writing Strategies Remember, this section of the test requires that:
You will be given several short passages that may be grammatically correct, but contain stylistic errors.
You may be directed to individual paragraphs, sentences, or parts of sentences in these passages and asked to edit them.

25. Practice!
Let’s refer to the last pages of the handouts and answer questions about the “Amelia Earhart: An Aviation Pioneer” essay.
Consider all of the information that we’ve learned today to help you understand the corrections.