1. Bullying in NJ Schools NJ State Anti-Bullying Law & District Policy on Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying By Tom Letson, MA LPC NCC Student Assistance Coordinator Howell Public Schools

2. Some Bullying Stats & Research Source: Maine Project Against Bullying 80% of adolescents reported being bullied during their school years. 15% of students bully regularly or are victims of bullies. Up to 7% of 8th grade students stay home at least once a month because of bullies. Bullying most often occurs at school where there is minimal or no supervision (e.g.,playground, hallways, cafeteria). Most bullying is verbal. Bullying begins in elementary school, peaks in middle school, diminishes but does not disappear in high school. Both boys and girls bully, usually same sex classmates, with female bullying taking indirect, manipulative forms.

3. School teasing blamed in Surrey teen's suicide Last Updated Fri Mar 17 08:20:01 2000 VANCOUVER - The family of a 14- year-old boy who committed suicide last weekend blames his death on constant teasing and bullying at his high school. Hamed Nastoh was a Grade 9 student at Enver Creek Secondary School in Surrey. He described the harassment he suffered in a five-page note he left for his family, before leaping to his death from the Patullo Bridge. Police found the boy's body resting against a log in the Fraser River early Sunday morning. Bullycide: It Does Happen (a suicide caused from the effects of bullying)

4. NJ Districts Must Adopt a Policy that: Prohibits and defines harassment, intimidation or bullying; Describes behavior expected from each student; Describes consequences and remedial action for violators; Includes a procedure for reporting violations including a provision for anonymous reporting; Defines a procedure for prompt investigation of reports of violations; Identifies either the Principal or designee as the person responsible for investigating. Includes a range of ways the school will respond to an incident. Includes for consequences and remedial action for reprisal or retaliation against a person reporting a violation; Includes consequences and remedial action for falsely accusing another as a means of retaliation; Includes how the policy will be publicized;

5. NJ’s Definition Adopted by our District Harassment, intimidation or bullying” means any gesture or written, verbal or physical act taking place on school property, at any school-sponsored function or on a school bus that: Is motivated by any actual or perceived characteristic, such as but not limited to race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, or a mental, physical or sensory disability; or By any other distinguishing characteristic; and A reasonable person should know, under the circumstances, that the act(s) will have the effect of harming a pupil or damaging the pupil’s property, or placing a pupil in reasonable fear of harm to his/her person or damage to his/her property; or Has the effect of insulting or demeaning any pupil or group of pupils in such a way as to cause substantial disruption in, or substantial interference with, the orderly operation of the school.

6. *District Policy: Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying Policy Statement: The Board of Education prohibits acts of harassment, intimidation or bullying. A safe and civil environment in school is necessary for pupils to learn and achieve high academic standards. Harassment, intimidation or bullying, like other disruptive or violent behaviors, is conduct that disrupts both a pupil’s ability to learn and a school’s ability to educate its pupils in a safe environment; and since pupils learn by example, school administrators, faculty, staff and volunteers should be commended for demonstrating appropriate behavior, treating others with civility and respect, and refusing to tolerate harassment, intimidation or bullying.

7. It Could be Bullying if a child… source: Kidscape.org Is frightened to walk to and from school Changes their usual route Does not want you to go on the school bus Begs you to drive them to school Unwilling to go to school (or be school phobic') Feels ill in the mornings Becomes truant Begins doing poorly in their school work Comes home regularly with clothes or books destroyed Comes home starving (bully taking money) Becomes withdrawn and loses confidence Becomes distressed and anxious, may stop eating Attempts or threatens suicide Cries themselves to sleep, have nightmares Has their possessions go missing refuse to talk about what's wrong Has unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches Begins to bully siblings become aggressive and unreasonable give improbable excuses for any of the above

8. Reporting Procedures for Staff: All school employees are required to report alleged violations of this Policy to the Principal or his/her designee. All other members of the school community, including pupils, parent(s) or legal guardian(s), volunteers and visitors are encouraged to report any act that may be a violation of this Policy. Oral reports will also be considered official reports. Oral Reports must be followed in writing using the appropriate form filled out by the individual receiving the oral report. Reports may be made anonymously, but formal disciplinary action may not be based solely on the basis of an anonymous report.

9. Helping Bully Victims Teach our students to:  Stand up for themselves appropriately.  To seek adult help when needed.  Avoid Bullying situations when possible Our Schools  Implement an ANNUAL school-wide program  Designate one staff person as the bullying point person  Investigate all allegations thoroughly.

10. Being Assertive DOES NOT Mean Saying "Shut up!" After you have asked kids several times to stop harassing you and they don’t stop, it’s time to be more assertive. Being assertive means sticking up for yourself and telling someone to stop doing whatever mean thing they are saying or doing to you. Being assertive DOES NOT mean being aggressive and starting a fight. Being assertive DOES NOT mean screaming "shut-up!" at the other kid - in fact, this may make the bully and teaser happy because they were successful in getting you upset! Here is an examples of being assertive in these situations: "I’ve given you enough chances to stop this. If you do it again I’m reporting it."

11. A.W.A.R.E Strategy © 2001 by Tom Letson This skill teaches you an easily remembered 5 step strategy to deal with bullies at school. This will help you to become aware of how to avoid bullying situations and how to deal with them if they occur. This really works! A = Avoid bullying and teasing situations if possible. W = Walk & talk confidently at all times. A = Assert myself when necessary (tell bullies to stop) R = Report threats and severe bullying to school staff. E = Enjoy school everyday because it's my right!

12. Avoid Bullying if Possible bullies at lunch bullies on the bus bullies in the halls bullies on the internet

13. STOP! Don't type anything back! BLOCK! Block the cyberbully or limit IMing to your buddy list. TELL! Tell a trusted adult, you have to face this alone. What To Do About Cyberbullying…

14. Bullying Intervention Tips for Staff We have “adult advantage” – use it! Don’t tell a victim to fight back Do encourage a victim to be assertive Gather all facts before accusing a child of bullying Don’t insult the bully at any time. Don’t embarrass the victim Don’t blame the victim Do ask other students to report bullying Do protect the identity of student informants. Don’t refer to peer mediation unless the students involved are friends in conflict – otherwise there’s nothing to negotiate! Keep parents informed. Document all incidents Involve the police if necessary (also as a deterrent)

15. How Staff Should Intervene with Bullies 1.Make the message absolutely clear that the behavior is not acceptable. Insure the student understands you will be monitoring the situation. 2.Use Preventative Intervention: tell them exactly what you will do if you catch them doing it again – and then follow through and do exactly that if it reoccurs. 3.Formally and progressively consequence as needed. 4.Be creative with consequences. 5.Parents MUST be called. 6.Compliment the student as he/she demonstrates appropriate behavior.