1. Fictional Narrative Extended Constructed Response Essay
English 7
Fictional Narrative Extended Constructed Response Essay
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2. What is a fictional Narrative?
For us, it’s a short (3-4 pages) piece of writing that is entirely made up by you!
You will be given a prompt with your essay topic
The story contains a plot, characters that are described through direct and indirect characterization, sensory details, dialogue, narrative action, sentence variety and transitions
It can either be told from the first person, third person limited or third person omniscient
Max max max 5 pages!!

3. Plot Diagram Review 3 4 2 1 5 Climax Falling Action
Rising Action (includes Complications) 1 5
Exposition
Resolution

4. Characterization REVIEW:
The way the author shows or tells what a character is like.
Without characterization, the reader would never know anything about the character’s personality.
Your story should have one main character so that you can adequately describe him/her.

5. Authors and Their Characters
This is Maks from City of Orphans.
They look nothing alike!
This is Avi (Edward Irving Wortis).

6. POINT OF VIEW REVIEW
Point of view is the vantage point
It is the way we look at a situation
Who is the narrator telling your story?
First person “I”
Third person limited “He/She” and focused on just one person
Third person omniscient “He/She” and all knowing

7. You will type this essay. This is 100 points summative.
Prompt
Imagine that in the year 2020 the world’s technologies suddenly stop working. Write a narrative story about a day in the life of a person if this event took place.
What would happen if all of the technologies failed? What would the world look like?
Brainstorm a list of possible conflicts that could happen in this situation.
How could a character solve this problem?
You will type this essay. This is 100 points summative.
Due May 19th.

8. Video clip-World without technology

9. Example essay Let’s take a look at the example
It is a different prompt (science experiment gone wrong)
We will be taking notes on this essay throughout our writing process—don’t lose it!
We will grade it based on the district rubric

10. plot chart WS—DUE WEDNESDAY!
Use the plot chart to outline your story and main character
You should only have ONE conflict and ONE main character!
Theme-Author’s message/Lesson learned
Foreshadowing-Clues/Hints to what will happen next
Point of View: First Person (I), Third Person Limited (He/She one person) or Third Person Omniscient (He/She all-knowing)

11. Advance yo’self
Foreshadowing-Clues/hints that something will happen later in the story
Example: The man’s watch. Willa’s mom dying of Wasting Disease. Grandma lives on Lonely Road in Little Red Riding Hood.
How can you hint to the reader?
Think about items, deaths, places, weather.

12. Rubric Let’s examine how you will be graded
Can you put the rubric in your own words?
We will be assessing example essays with this rubric

13. Don’t Forget:
This is a work of FICTION so it cannot be real! This means that YOU are NOT the main character and your FRIENDS are NOT in your story
Have only ONE major character. You may NOT use any fictional characters that someone else developed—that’s plagiarism!
Have only ONE conflict. Make sure to have your own PROBLEM to be solved in the story
Your story should span about one day, no more
Tell your story in first person or third person
Don’t wake up from a dream!
Don’t have a “to be continued” ending and don’t put “The End.”
Do NOT use a story that you’ve written in 5th/6th grade or during another year.

14. INTERESTING BEGINNINGS--What makes you want to read a story?
An interesting introduction is one that captures the reader's attention and makes them want to keep reading.
It should start with action, dialogue, or setting the scene.

15. What are these Interesting beginnings?
Action
Precise Verbs
Dialogue
People Talking/Inner Dialogue
Quotation Marks
Setting the scene
Describing Time, Place and Weather
Box on poster

16. Non-ExampleS
His name is Justin. He is twelve years old and he had long black hair and brown eyes. He loves peanut butter and hates the color pink.
This story takes place on a far away island. This island is covered with trees that are full of lots of wild animals.
Once upon a time…
Hi, my name is…

17. Model#1 -action
The knife fell from my hand and clattered on the cement floor as a shoe was shoved into my stomach. I gasped for the breath that had left me, and reached out in an attempt to catch my attacker in the face. The darkness around me had me squinting for where the person was, and made me claw at empty air. After another whoosh of air, my legs collapsed from under me as the pressure forced my knees to bend. I fell forward, and reached out to try and break my fall. I lay on my hands and knees, unable to do anything as my attacker shoved me to the ground and a raspy voice filled my ear.
-- To Reveal the Truth

18. Model #2-Dialogue
“Oh, come on!” Lily begged me. I turned to my friend and her blue eyes filled with despair. “Just this once? We never do things that I want to do.” “Fine,” I sighed, “we’ll go see your lousy band.” “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Lily squealed, hugging me. -- As Life Goes On
Do step one (don’t say circle…)
Check whiteboards
Model—I saw this…If you don’t have this, then circle. Don’t ASK the student. Echo.
Do step two
Turn to your partner and do step 3 …. A tell B Sentence Frame posted

19. Model #3-Setting
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress. She must have had bad dreams and climbed in with our mother. Of course, she did. This is the day of reaping.
I prop myself up on elbow. There’s enough light in my bedroom to see them.
--The Hunger Games

20. Guided practice worksheet and Essay example
How did the example essay use an interesting beginning?
Highlight the clues and identify the type of beginning.
Grade the beginning according to the rubric.
Continue to practice the steps to Identify Interesting Beginnings on your Worksheet
Write your own! Homework: 4 sentence minimum interesting beginning paragraph!

21. Independent practice Think about Your Own Story…
What actions is your character DOING in the beginning of the story?
What important conversations might your character be having with another character or themselves?
What is the time of the event, what is the weather like and where is your character going to be?
Start writing your own interesting beginning. This should be about a paragraph (minimum 4 sentences). What you don’t finish is homework. If you don’t have access to your google doc at home, then you must write out your paragraph.
Can work with partner. Provide answers. Posted/don’t call on them.

22. Google document Log in to your google kids account!
16 first initial last name last 3 of
Password: MM/DD/YY
Open up your gmail (envelope)
Go to the squares at the top right
Click on DRIVE
Click on NEW– Google Doc
Start typing your name and period
Don’t forget to RENAME your essay so it’s not just untitled! Then you can find it under Documents and work on it at home!

23. Partner Check!
Read and Rate your partner’s interesting beginning as a 4 (highest), 3, 2 or 1 (lowest) according to the rubric.
Did they use action, setting the scene or dialogue?
I rated this introduction _______ because…
It was great how he/she __________
The interesting beginning could be improved by ________________

24. Setting Remember: Setting is when and where a story takes place.
Look at your plot chart
What is your setting? Where will your story take place? When will it take place? What time/day/season will it take place?
Don’t forget! The year is 2020!

25. Sensory details
Avi not only describes when and where, but he also uses sensory details.
These are: sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and what the narrator or characters can touch in the story
Sensory details make a story come to life

26. Model: Avi’s setting pg. 127
The third floor is big, open, crowded, murky. Just a few skylights, mostly coated with soot and ash. Most light comes from dangling, flickering electric lamps. People work half in light, half in shadow, over large tables. It all stinks of leather, dye, horse glue, and people. Tobacco smoke floats through the air like layers of cake.
There’s constant noise: the steady slicing of knives and scissors, the ripping of leather, the tat-tat-tat of shoe nail hammers. The wizzy-wizzy of stitching machines.
Where?
When?
What tastes, touch, smell, noises and sights are there?

27. Advance yo’self: City of orphans setting
How does Avi use weather to contribute to the ominous mood?
Example: As they head back to the tenement, Maks notices how dank the air is, how it smells of smoke. And it feels like rain is coming. He’s thinking, Nothing’s right. Page 198

28. Guided practice: Essay example setting details
Worksheet
Box all of the details that describe the setting and sensory details
In the margin, write whether the author describes time or place
In the margin, write whether the boxes show taste, touch, smell, noises or what a character can see
Grade based on the setting details

29. Independent practice
Add to your interesting beginning by typing a second paragraph all about the setting. This should be 4 more sentences!
You need an intentional transition to blend from first to second paragraph (example page 6 and 7).
Include when and where the story takes place
Include all five sensory details: taste, touch, smell, noises and sights
If your interesting beginning included setting the scene, then continue to add a second paragraph filled with sensory details.
You will continue to use setting and sensory details throughout your essay.
Tip: Don’t just summarize the setting and sensory details. Describe them!

30. Partner check! Switch drafts with a partner
Read over the setting and sensory details paragraph.
Did they include time and place?
Did they include sights?
Smells?
Tastes?
Things to touch?
Noises?

31. Characters
Often, writers use both direct characterization, where they directly tell you what a character is like (She is mean) and indirect characterization. This is where the reader figures out what a character is like through:
Actions
Thoughts/feelings
Speech
Others’ reactions
Appearance

32. What NOT to DO: Don’t TELL the reader Hi, My name is…
Now I’m going to tell you a story about…
Use first person narrator and then describe “yourself.” Ex: I am wearing black shorts, black shoes, and a green striped shirt.

33. Examples—Action
As I swept the blonde hair from out of my eyes, I noticed my classmates staring at me. I slowly sat up, smoothing out my cotton-candy pink dress that hung loosely over my thin frame. I wiped the sweat off my brow, unsure of what was going to happen.
As they began shouting my name, however, I smiled so big that my cheeks hurt, put my palm facing outward to quiet them down, and said, “Thank you. Now let’s go celebrate!”

34. Model: Thoughts and Feelings
His hand was still damp—from the water faucet in the restroom, Virgil hoped. On second thought, his auburn hair was still damp too. And his navy button down. What happened to him? Why would a six foot four, muscular man be soaked?
Despite her beautiful green eyes and shiny brunette hair, she had on the ugliest Aloha shirt I’d ever seen. It was brown in the background with leaves of every color scattered all over it. It was like Thanksgiving at the beach. Yuck, I thought.

35. Model--Speech
“Isn’t he dreamy?” Sara exclaimed, looking at the picture of Marco.
“I guess. His hair is sooo black and spiky though.”
“Lily, you are just jealous. I could just melt when his perfect chocolate brown eyes look at me,” Sara sighed.
“Well, it’s a good thing that you have on your tall boots today. It’s going to rain!” Lily said, trying to change the subject.

36. ModeL: Other characters’ reactions
All of a sudden, they erupted in cheers, throwing their fists into the air and shouting, “Tanner! Tanner! Tanner!”
Adam looked at Tanner with admiration, a smile on his face and awe in his eyes. Adam thought Tanner’s green shirt and blue pants were the perfect outfit for a cool teenager. His forehead was furrowed with thought as he contemplated just how he saved the day.
Samuel glared at him, one of the only ones who wasn’t shouting his name. His fists were balled at his sides. He knew Tanner must have cheated. Anyone with those blue eyes must be evil.

37. ModeL: appearance (using a mirror)
He examined himself in the mirror. He saw a sturdy, compact body, neatly dressed in a striped suit, with shined shoes and perfectly rolled-up sleeves. He was ready to go on his date.
She looked at her friends in the mirror as she finished putting on her black kohl eyeliner. They were beautiful with their beaded purses and gem-studded slippers, shiny ball gowns and fancy up-do’s.

38. Guided practice: How does the essay example introduce the main character?
Look at City of Orphan’s example and example essay
Circle all of the character details. Next to the circles, in the margin, label appearance, action, speech, thoughts/feelings or other’s reactions.
Then, we will make inferences about character traits for the characters.
How would you grade the example based on characterization?

39. Independent practice: Some easy ways to Introduce Your Character
You will be introducing your own character and details in the third paragraph of your essay. Use at least four sentences!
Transition between second and third paragraph
Here are five different ways to introduce a character, including:
Actions
Thoughts and feelings (inner dialogue)
Speech (dialogue)
Others’ reactions
Appearance using a mirror

40. Independent practice How can you introduce your character?
What character trait do you want them to have?
Which is the easiest way to introduce your character?
Begin writing your third paragraph! At least 4 sentences!
You will continue to describe your character throughout your essay.

41. Partner Check! Read their third paragraph or intro character paragraph
Identify how they described their character. Did they use action, speech, dialogue, others’ reactions or appearance?
What does their character look like?
What kind of personality/Character trait does their character have?
Fix anything or add notes if necessary

42. Conflict What is your conflict or problem in the story?
The conflict in your story must be shown in the first page of your narrative—otherwise you run the risk of your short story being not-so-short.
Exposition (Characters, Setting and Conflict) Page 1 is due tomorrow!
Make sure you use action, dialogue, scene details, sensory details and character details throughout your essay!

43. Independent practice
Think about how you want your character to solve the conflict in your story
Remember to only have ONE conflict! You shouldn’t have sub-conflicts like Avi.
Start introducing the conflict in paragraph four.
This should be on the first page!
Continue writing about the rising action on the next page.
Remember: Use setting details, sensory details and character details throughout!

44. Conflict and rising action
What is your conflict?
What steps is your character going to take to solve the problem? This is the RISING ACTION!
How can you make it suspenseful?

45. Model What is the beginning conflict in City of Orphans?
What is the main conflict in City of Orphans?
How do you know?
What are some steps Maks takes to solve the problem? (Rising Action) Notice how it is difficult for him to solve the problem! It shouldn’t be easy.

46. “What is it. ” Maks cries. “What’s happened. ” Mama opens her mouth
“What is it?” Maks cries. “What’s happened?” Mama opens her mouth. No words come. She keeps swallowing, gasping for air. Tears slide down her face. “Tell me!” “Its… Emma. She's been arrested.” “Arrested? What do you mean?” Mama struggles to speak. “They put her in that jail. The one over by city hall.” “The tombs?” cries Maks. Mama bobs her head and smears tears from her face with the heels of her small, red hands. “But...why?” Maks says, slamming the front door to keep the news inside. Mama says,” A policeman was just here. He said that,” she takes a breath, “Emma stole a watch.”

47. Guided practice: Example essay
Look at your example essay
Put a big exclamation point next to the main problem
How did you know it was the conflict? Write your answer in the margin
What steps does the character take in order to solve the conflict? Number the steps of the rising action.
Don’t number the climax yet!

48. Write!
Continue to type your essay, including the introduction paragraph, setting/sensory details paragraph and character paragraph.
Include your conflict in the first page.
Page 2 should be about your rising action! How will your character have a hard time trying to solve the problem?
How can you make it suspenseful?
How can you add foreshadowing?
Don’t forget to include setting, character and sensory details throughout!

49. Partner Check! What is the conflict in the story?
What are the steps that the character is taking to solve the problem?
Did you feel that the author put enough suspense in the essay or that you wanted to know what was happening next?
Was there any foreshadowing or clues/hints about what was going to happen next?

50. Helpful items Don’t change the font Double space
New speaker, new paragraph

51. Dialogue rules Use quotation marks when someone is talking
Put your punctuation inside quotation marks (usually a comma) and at the end of the sentence (usually a period)
Capitalize the first letter inside quotation marks
When a new person talks, it is a new paragraph. Remember to indent your paragraphs.
INDENT

52. Helpful Dialogue items
Be purposeful! Use speech for a specific reason—to show personality and attitudes of the character, to describe the setting, or to describe the event (further the plot, make the climax more exciting, use suspense)
If you want to describe their exact thoughts (inner dialogue), use italics. These are slanted letters.
Sounds are also in italics! Beep! Beep!

53. Model Dialogue is within quotation marks.
“Hi, how are you today?”
Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.
“Hi, how are you today”? That is WRONG!
“Hi, how are you today?” That is RIGHT!
Capitalize the first letter in dialogue
She asked, “Why are you eating rotten apples?”
“They taste good,” he answered.
“Tim,” she sighed, “you can’t really think that.”
New speaker, new paragraph. Indent!
“That’s disgusting!” she shrieked.
“I don’t think so,” he stated. “To each his own.”
Whatever, she thought. Let him eat rotten apples. I don’t care if he gets sick.

54. Guided practice:
Look at City of Orphan’s example from page 114 and 130.
Correctly punctuate the City of Orphan’s dialogue using the rules of dialogue

55. "What man?" "The hotel detective. But I didn't take no watch, Maks.
I didn't. You know I wouldn't. I never would."
   "Why'd they think you did?"
   "First they told us girls that someone took a fancy watch from a guest's room. Then they searched our dormitory where we sleep." She pauses. "They found a watch chain under my pillow."
   Mak's mouth open, but he can't speak.
  "But I don't know how it got there," Emma says quickly. "I swear to God, I don't." She's gasping and sobbing. " I didn't take it, Maks."
    "I believe you.”
…”And,” says Maks, “she’s going on trial.”

56. Dialogue Tags and model
Dialogue tags are words that tell us when a character is speaking and who is speaking AND how they are speaking.
Use a comma or period after a speech tag.
For example:
“Did you see that?” Juan asked.
Sara whispered, “I did.”
They can also show us actions. For example, if a character is telling a secret, maybe she is WHISPERING something.

57. Dialogue tags: Avoid repeating said
The most basic dialogue tag is SAID
Choose a variety of dialogue tags that work with the situation
For example:
Jenny said, “See what?”
“Said” doesn’t really work here because Jenny is asking a question, rather than just saying something.
“The monster,” Juan shrieked, “that’s been following us!”

58. Guided practice Squiggle the dialogue in the example essay.
Write down three examples of dialogue tags that were used (besides said).
How would you grade the example based on dialogue?
Dialogue would be assessed in the narrative techniques and conventions!
Finish the worksheet.

59. Independent practice Brainstorm a list of dialogue tags besides SAID
Which speech tags do you want to use (besides said)?
Where is the most important place to include dialogue in YOUR story? BE PURPOSEFUL!
Go back to your essay--Do you have correctly punctuated dialogue? Do you have a variety of speech tags (besides said)?
Done? Keep working on your rough draft. Make sure to use dialogue!

60. climax
Your climax is that really suspenseful, emotional and/or exciting moment where the problem is SOLVED!
It includes action, setting, sensory detail, character details and dialogue.
How will your conflict be solved? What is your climax?

61. Model We haven’t gotten to the climax in CITY OF OPRHANS
If you know it, don’t say!
Remember this one?
The huge creature sniffed the air. It turned in our direction. Its eyes seemed to glow. Moonlight glittered on its fangs.
Slowly the Sentinel raised its arm. I could see Duffy’s jacket dangling from its fingertips.
And then it spoke.
“You forgot your jacket, stupid.”

62. Guided practice Look at the example essay
Put a STAR next to the climax—How was it solved?
What made it exciting, emotional or suspenseful?
How could the student make it better?
Rubric—Organization and Narrative Techniques

63. Independent practice
How will you make your climax exciting, suspenseful or emotional?

64. Narrative action
Definition: Narrative action is using movement, hand gestures, and facial expression to describe what is happening
Use strong and precise word choice
It creates a mental picture in the reader’s mind
Don’t just tell; SHOW!

65. Model-narrative action pg. 37 and 38
Mama opens her mouth. No words come. She keeps swallowing, gasping for air. Tears slide down her face. “Tell me!” “Its… Emma. She's been arrested.” … Mama bobs her head and smears tears from her face with the heels of her small, red hands. “But...why?” Maks says, slamming the front door to keep the news inside. Mama says,” A policeman was just here. He said that,” she takes a breath, “Emma stole a watch.” Maks, mouth wide open, can’t believe what he’s hearing. “At her hotel,” Mama explains, with a frantic gesture. “They arrested her.” … “The policeman says she did.” Mama’s voice is miserable, her face pinched. “They don’t lie.” “Yes they do!” Maks is so upset, he’s almost choking. Shoving aside his younger brothers…he takes Mama’s arms and leads her to one of the three chairs by the kitchen table.

66. Guided practice Look at the examples and example essay
Double underline the narrative action
What movements, gestures or facial expressions did you double underline?
Label them as M for movement, G for hand gesture or F facial expressions.
Rubric-Narrative Actions

67. Example 1-A Broken Arm Telling- My arm was broken and it looked weird.
Showing- “Ouch! I need help!” I screamed. I looked at my twisted arm, and how it unnaturally curved between my wrist and elbow. There was a strange bump protruding, and I ran my hand along it, feeling the sharp bone that was about to pierce my fragile skin. I grimaced; my mouth twisted in pain. I held firmly onto the wall, trying not to faint.

68. Example 2-Crying
Telling-I cried and I saw my friend Maria running toward me.
Showing-“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” I cried. Warm tears welled up in my eyes, and I felt the sting as they moved over the scratch on my cheek. A horrified Maria sprinted over to me, panting with panic. Her eyes widened as she saw the strange curvature of my arm. She reached out her hands to hold me upright.

69. independent Practice
Examine your own rough draft. Where can you add narrative action?
Throughout the climax, add movements, hand gestures and facial expressions to make it exciting, emotional or suspenseful!
Advance Yo’ Self-Add feelings and emotions
Continue to use dialogue and setting and action, character and sensory details throughout.
Make sure to use strong and precise word choice
Finish your climax and page 3 tonight for homework!

70. Falling Action
Definition: The series of events after the climax and before the resolution.
What happens after the climax, but before the resolution in your story?
What event needs to happen next to get your main character from the climax to the resolution?

71. Model-Falling Action
We haven’t gotten to the falling action in CITY OF OPRHANS
If you know it, don’t say!
Let’s continue looking at Duffy’s Jacket.
It threw the jacket at Duffy, turned around, and stomped down the stairs.
Why is this event the falling action?

72. Guided Practice-Falling Action
Look at the example essay
Put a down arrow for the falling action.
What happens after the climax, but before the resolution?
Rubric-Organization & Conclusion
How would you grade the example based on the falling action?

73. Independent Practice-Falling Action
Think about:
What happens after the climax, but before the resolution?
What do your characters do?
How do they feel?
What facial expressions do they make?
What do they say?
What do they hear?
Continue to use dialogue and setting and narrative action, character and sensory details.

74. Resolution
Definition: After the falling action; when all the loose ends are tied up, and the story ends.
Your resolution to your essay needs to resolve the conflict and be believable.
How does your story end? What happens to the main character?
Advance Yo’ Self: THEME What does the main character learn? How does the main character change?

75. Model-Resolution
Which is why, I suppose no one has had to remind Duffy to remember his jacket, or his glasses, or his math book, for a least a year now.
After all, when you leave stuff lying around, you never can be sure who just might bring it back.
How does the story end? What happens to the main character?
What does the main character learn? How does the main character change?

76. Guided Practice-Resolution
Look at the example essay
Put a happy face or sad face next to the resolution.
How does the story end? What happens to the main character?
What does the main character learn? How does the main character change?
Rubric-organization & conclusion
How would you grade the example based on the resolution?

77. Independent Practice-Falling Action and Resolution
Write your falling action and resolution.
I need to know how your story ends and what will happen to your character. 2 paragraphs!
ADVANCE YO’ SELF: Indirectly include a character who changes or a lesson learned in the resolution.
Continue to use dialogue, setting, narrative action and character and sensory details
Don’t have a “to be continued” story
You may NOT have a character wake up from a dream.
Do NOT write The End or include pictures.

78. Now that you are done with your draft, edit!
Make sure that you have used precise words and phrases and that you have detail!
Avoid good, bad, things, stuff and said.
Make sure that you have a variety of sentences and that your sentences don’t just start with the same thing.
Make sure that you have transitions

79. Precise words, phrases and detail!
Use descriptive adjectives (words that describe nouns--people, places, things and ideas)
Use action verbs that describe what your character is doing
Add adverbs to describe actions (words that typically end in –ly)
Continue to use specific and appropriate words that show setting, sensory details, character details, suspense, foreshadowing and emotion
Examine The Shadow Beast and find THREE precise words, phrases and details. Put GOOD WC (word choice) by them!
What descriptive adjectives, action verbs, adverbs or other precise words, phrases and details can you put in your essay?

80. Sentence Beginnings and variety
Start sentences with different words and phrases throughout your essay
Don’t start a sentence with SO or AND unless it’s in dialogue! Avoid too many THEN words.
Avoid starting with “I” all the time, especially in dialogue!
Examine The Shadow Beast. Notice how the sentences start in a variety of ways.
Notice how there are different words throughout the essay to describe everything that is happening.
Do you need to fix the beginnings of your sentences?
Did you use the same words over and over?

81. Transitions Definition: words or phrases
that help the flow of the essay by connecting ideas together.
These could be one word or prepositional phrases in the beginning of your sentences
Examples: Also, Finally, Then, Next…
Examples: In the beginning, During this time, Under the hot sun…
They come at the BEGINNING of sentences!

82. More Examples Time sequence
Today, tomorrow, yesterday, once, now, then, eventually, meanwhile, subsequently, finally, first, second, third, afterwards, at last
Emphasis
Of course, certainly, indeed, in fact, even so, truly
Result/Cause and Effect
As a result, consequently, hence, then, therefore, thus, accordingly, so, for this reason

83. Transitions Take a look at the Shadow Beast.
Draw arrows next to the transition words and phrases
Are there areas in your essay that could use transitions?
Use commas after transition words or prepositional phrases
Add transitions to your essay to help it flow from one idea to the next.

84. Model
We all piled in the large SUV to head to the beach. The drive seemed like it took forever. We arrived at the beach. We noticed the parking lot was empty. There was a sign that said "Beach is Closed due to Unpredictable Waves." We were disappointed. Everyone got back in the SUV, and we headed home.

85. Model with transitions, varied sentence starters and precise words
First, we all piled in the gigantic SUV to head to the beach. Although the drive seemed like it took forever, we arrived at the beautifully sandy beach around noon. We could see the crashing waves and golden sands from the freeway exit. Unfortunately, we noticed the parking lot was completely destitute of cars and there was a large sign that read "Beach is Closed due to Unpredictable Waves." At that point, we were incredibly disappointed and everyone sadly climbed into the SUV. We morosely headed back to Roseville.

86. And Finally… Your Title
Titles are the first thing someone looks at
When people pick novels, sometimes it’s the only thing we look at
Try to think of an interesting title for your story. You will be graded on the title as part of your introduction.
Do NOT make your title bigger. I used to have a hard time seeing, but I got LASIK vision and so I can see your title just fine in size 11 font.

87. Editing and Final draft
Read over your essay (aloud, with someone else, by yourself) and fix any errors
Have another person complete your Partner Check WS
Match your essay to the rubric…did you include all of the things that you will be graded on?
Between 3 and 4 pages typed. Max is 5.
DOUBLE SPACED
Size 11 with normal font (Arial, Calibri, Times New Roman). 1 inch margins. Don’t change anything!
SHARE WITH ME! or

88. How to earn a 4 (advance yo’self)
I’ve included ways throughout your essay for you to get an advanced score. For example:
Include weather details to contribute to mood/tone of essay
Use foreshadowing
Have a creative style
Create personalities for your characters
Use suspense
Have an exciting or emotional climax
Use descriptive details and precise words
Use narrative action and SHOWING rather than telling
Add emotions and feelings
Add real-life facts that you’ve researched
Add a page 5

89. Characters and Setting
Story comic strip or Book 50 points extra credit. Yes, I said extra credit.
Characters and Setting
Conflict
Rising Action/Event 1
Rising Action/Event 2
Rising Action/Event 3
Climax
Falling Action
Resolution

90. Directions: Due Tuesday May 19th, 2015 at the end of the day!
This is worth 50 extra credit points!
You will create a comic strip or paper book for your fictional narrative.
You must shorten your story!
It will be 8 scenes AND sentences
It will include COLORED pictures