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Your Perspectives on Conflict By Deidra O’Neill
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Personal History Think about how conflict occurs in your life. Your Personal history is unique and how conflict occurs has a lot to do with the way you deal with conflict.
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Do you have an avoidant, collaborative or aggressive family?
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Types of Families Avoidant families avoid conflict and never confront issues Collaborative families use collaboration to deal with conflict. They deal with others directly and strong feelings are allowed to be expressed. Aggressive families engage in a lot of yelling, and name calling (Wilmot & Hocker p.30).Wilmot & Hocker Avoidant families avoid conflict and never confront issues Collaborative families use collaboration to deal with conflict. They deal with others directly and strong feelings are allowed to be expressed. Aggressive families engage in a lot of yelling, and name calling (Wilmot & Hocker p.30).Wilmot & Hocker
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Our personal history includes all of our interactions with others up to the present. Do you have a negative view of conflict?
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Our culture can teach us to have a negative view of conflict. Many people do view conflict as completely negative with no redeeming qualities (Wilmot & Hocker p.33).Wilmot & Hocker Our culture can teach us to have a negative view of conflict. Many people do view conflict as completely negative with no redeeming qualities (Wilmot & Hocker p.33).Wilmot & Hocker
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One misconception about conflict is that it is negative. Anger is the predominate emotion in conflict. Many associate conflict with anger and negative emotions. Many emotions can be associated with conflict and they are not all negative.
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One positive approach to conflict is to consider it a “fact of life”. Knowing that conflict is inevitable can allow you to calm down and use your own problem solving skills (Wilmot & Hocker p. 37).Wilmot & Hocker One positive approach to conflict is to consider it a “fact of life”. Knowing that conflict is inevitable can allow you to calm down and use your own problem solving skills (Wilmot & Hocker p. 37).Wilmot & Hocker
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Current research does show that gender does play a role in conflict. Studies done on teens show girls using indirect means of aggression and boys using direct means.
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Gender is framed in our cultural context. Women are seen as serious and value a connection. Men are seen as valuing independence.
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Gender filters also affect our understanding of conflict because our filters affect our behaviors when feeling powerless. Men state their position and offer a logical reason to support it. Women depend in the gender of their opponent in conflict (Wilmot & Hocker p. 55)Wilmot & Hocker Gender filters also affect our understanding of conflict because our filters affect our behaviors when feeling powerless. Men state their position and offer a logical reason to support it. Women depend in the gender of their opponent in conflict (Wilmot & Hocker p. 55)Wilmot & Hocker
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One’s personal history makes a difference in how an individual deals with conflict. Gender plays a key part in the behaviors one chooses in conflict and also influences how we see others.
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Cited Sources Wilmot, W. & Hocker, L. (2007). Interpersonal conflict, 7th edition.The Mcgraw-Hill Companies. NY, New York.
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Good-bye!!
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