Presentation on theme: "Emotional Intelligence"— Presentation transcript:
1 Emotional Intelligence Developed by Monique Ellefson, AmeriCorps VISTA Leader, Iowa Campus Compact, Des Moines, IANov 2013
2 What is Emotional Intelligence? Capacity to recognize your feelings and the feelings of others.Emotional Intelligence Quotient – similar to measuring your IQ, your EIQ can directly correlate to how successful you are.Theory: once you learn to manage yourself, you can more easily manage others.
3 EI Resources Books Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Working With Emotional Intelligence
4 EI At a Glance Personal Competence Social Competence Self-awareness Self-managementSelf-regulation skillsFocus on you individually rather than on your interactions with othersAbility to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.Social-awarenessRelationship management skillsAbility to understand other people’s moods, behaviors and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships
5 EI Abilities Observing Listening Sensing/Intuiting Looking at body language, your environment, etc.ListeningTone of voice, what isn’t being said?Sensing/IntuitingYour inner voice is telling you that something is going on that you may not be seeing or hearing.Asking Pertinent QuestionsConfirm what you are seeing, hearing, or sensing; increased information to prevent assumptions or judgmentsSelf-AwarenessAnalyzing the clues based on your experiences, biases, assumptions, knowledge, etc. Be aware of your strengths and what you would like to improve upon.
6 5 Skills to Raise your EIQ Self-awarenessSelf-regulationMotivationEmpathySocial Skills**Information from Daniel Goleman**
7 3 Main Skills for Emotional Intelligence Self-AwarenessKnowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions in the moment and your tendencies across situationsSelf-RegulationManaging one’s internal states, impulses, and resourcesMotivationEmotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals
8 Self-Awareness Emotional awareness Accurate self-assessment Recognizing one’s emotions and their effectsAccurate self-assessmentKnowing one’s strengths and limitsSelf-confidenceA strong sense of one’s worth and one’s self-work and capabilitiesSelf-reflectionPeriods of self-reflection allows the willingness to tolerate the discomfort of focusing on feelings that may be negative as well as positive.
9 Examples of Self-Awareness What’s happening?What do you do?Trouble understanding your emotionsNot fully appreciating the impact you have on othersNot owning up to your shortcomingsWhat are your shadows?Pause and determine what is triggering your responseObserve the ripple effect of your behaviors. Ask others. Be more reflective about your behavior.Seek feedback. Other’s views can be a real eye-opener.Self-honesty & judgment (try to remain neutral yet objective)
10 Self-Regulation Self-control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Keep disruptive emotions & impulses in checkTrustworthinessMaintain standards of honesty & integrityConscientiousnessTake responsibility for personal performanceAdaptabilityRemain flexible when handling changeInnovationBecomfortable with novel ideas, approaches and new information
11 Tips for Self-Regulation Self-awarenessBecome an expert!ListenDuring difficult conversations, always let the other person finish speaking. This will decrease the tendency to rush to judgment, calms the other person down, and gives you time to see the big picture.Step backPicture the current situation in your head as if it weren’t happening to you. Now, how would/should you proceed?BreatheWhen all else fails, breathe! No matter what you are feeling, focus your attention on gradual, deep, even-paced breaths to help relax your body and clear your mind. When your head is clear, you are better able to see and choose the best course of action.
12 Motivation Achievement drive Commitment Initiative Optimism Strive to improve or meet a standard of excellenceCommitmentAlign with the goals of the group or organization you are working withInitiativeBe ready to act on opportunitiesOptimismBe persistent in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks
13 REMINDERSThe more we judge ourselves, the more likely we are to not know ourselves and become defensive – blocking our ability to better understand ourselves.We need to trust ourselves in order to trust other people.Conflict creates stress – get to know yourself under stress.Ask yourself:What matters to me?What pushes your buttons?What are you feeling right now?
14 Resources Myer’s Briggs Ennaegram Strengths Finder 2.0 Better understand your personality type.Free online version: Jung’s TypologyEnnaegramBetter understand what motivates you.Free online version: Ennaegram TestStrengths Finder 2.0Buy the book/code to take this online test that will help you identify your 5 strengths.Free option: Identifying Strengths Handout
16 What is Social Intelligence? Achieved through empathy and social skills once you have developed your own Emotional Intelligence (EI).Social competenceSocial awareness & relationship management skillsAbility to understand other’s moods, behaviors, & motives
17 Empathy Awareness of others’ feelings & concerns Characterized by Understanding othersBeing able to sense other’s feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concernsDeveloping othersSensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilitiesService orientationAnticipating, recognizing, and meeting others’ needsLeveling diversityCultivating opportunities through different kinds of peoplePolitical awarenessReading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships
18 Social Skills Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others Characterized byInfluence - wielding effective tactics for persuasionCommunication - listening, opening, and sending convincing messagesConflict management - negotiating and resolving disagreementsLeadership - inspiring and guiding individuals and groupsChange Catalyst - initiating or managing changeBuilding bonds - nurturing instrumental relationshipsCollaboration & Cooperation - working with others toward shared goalsTeam Capabilities - creating group synergy in pursing collective goals
19 EI Strategies Don’t treat your feelings as good or bad. Observe the “ripple effect” from your emotions.Lean into your discomfort.Feel your emotions physically.Know who and what pushes your buttons.Watch yourself like a “hawk.” Learn to ask good questions. Be more insightful about “what you don’t know.”
20 EI StrategiesKeep a journal about your emotions until you become consistent at recognizing how you are feeling.Don’t be fooled by a bad mood. Try to understand what is behind it.Check-in with yourself periodically.Seek feedback from others. If people are telling you what you want to hear, you are asking the wrong people for feedback.Ask yourself why you do the things you do?
21 EI StrategiesGet to know yourself under stress. Become astutely self-aware.Learn to suspend judgments and assumptions.Focus more on your own reactions/responses than on those of others.Determine how you will manage or regulate your emotional responses. Be specific.Determine your level of motivation in greeting challenges and ensuring your growth as a person and a professional.Don’t try to develop your social skills or ability to be empathic until you have undertaken the development of the three personal skills involved in increasing your EIQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, and motivation.