1. Emotional Intelligence
Developed by Monique Ellefson, AmeriCorps VISTA Leader, Iowa Campus Compact, Des Moines, IA
Nov 2013

2. What is Emotional Intelligence?
Capacity to recognize your feelings and the feelings of others.
Emotional Intelligence Quotient – similar to measuring your IQ, your EIQ can directly correlate to how successful you are.
Theory: once you learn to manage yourself, you can more easily manage others.

3. EI Resources Books Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Working With Emotional Intelligence

4. EI At a Glance Personal Competence Social Competence Self-awareness
Self-management
Self-regulation skills
Focus on you individually rather than on your interactions with others
Ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.
Social-awareness
Relationship management skills
Ability to understand other people’s moods, behaviors and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships

5. EI Abilities Observing Listening Sensing/Intuiting
Looking at body language, your environment, etc.
Listening
Tone of voice, what isn’t being said?
Sensing/Intuiting
Your inner voice is telling you that something is going on that you may not be seeing or hearing.
Asking Pertinent Questions
Confirm what you are seeing, hearing, or sensing; increased information to prevent assumptions or judgments
Self-Awareness
Analyzing the clues based on your experiences, biases, assumptions, knowledge, etc. Be aware of your strengths and what you would like to improve upon.

6. 5 Skills to Raise your EIQ
Self-awareness
Self-regulation
Motivation
Empathy
Social Skills
**Information from Daniel Goleman**

7. 3 Main Skills for Emotional Intelligence
Self-Awareness
Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions in the moment and your tendencies across situations
Self-Regulation
Managing one’s internal states, impulses, and resources
Motivation
Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals

8. Self-Awareness Emotional awareness Accurate self-assessment
Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects
Accurate self-assessment
Knowing one’s strengths and limits
Self-confidence
A strong sense of one’s worth and one’s self-work and capabilities
Self-reflection
Periods of self-reflection allows the willingness to tolerate the discomfort of focusing on feelings that may be negative as well as positive.

9. Examples of Self-Awareness
What’s happening?
What do you do?
Trouble understanding your emotions
Not fully appreciating the impact you have on others
Not owning up to your shortcomings
What are your shadows?
Pause and determine what is triggering your response
Observe the ripple effect of your behaviors. Ask others. Be more reflective about your behavior.
Seek feedback. Other’s views can be a real eye-opener.
Self-honesty & judgment (try to remain neutral yet objective)

10. Self-Regulation Self-control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness
Keep disruptive emotions & impulses in check
Trustworthiness
Maintain standards of honesty & integrity
Conscientiousness
Take responsibility for personal performance
Adaptability
Remain flexible when handling change
Innovation
Becomfortable with novel ideas, approaches and new information

11. Tips for Self-Regulation
Self-awareness
Become an expert!
Listen
During difficult conversations, always let the other person finish speaking. This will decrease the tendency to rush to judgment, calms the other person down, and gives you time to see the big picture.
Step back
Picture the current situation in your head as if it weren’t happening to you. Now, how would/should you proceed?
Breathe
When all else fails, breathe! No matter what you are feeling, focus your attention on gradual, deep, even-paced breaths to help relax your body and clear your mind. When your head is clear, you are better able to see and choose the best course of action.

12. Motivation Achievement drive Commitment Initiative Optimism
Strive to improve or meet a standard of excellence
Commitment
Align with the goals of the group or organization you are working with
Initiative
Be ready to act on opportunities
Optimism
Be persistent in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

13. REMINDERS
The more we judge ourselves, the more likely we are to not know ourselves and become defensive – blocking our ability to better understand ourselves.
We need to trust ourselves in order to trust other people.
Conflict creates stress – get to know yourself under stress.
Ask yourself:
What matters to me?
What pushes your buttons?
What are you feeling right now?

14. Resources Myer’s Briggs Ennaegram Strengths Finder 2.0
Better understand your personality type.
Free online version: Jung’s Typology
Ennaegram
Better understand what motivates you.
Free online version: Ennaegram Test
Strengths Finder 2.0
Buy the book/code to take this online test that will help you identify your 5 strengths.
Free option: Identifying Strengths Handout

15. Social Intelligence

16. What is Social Intelligence?
Achieved through empathy and social skills once you have developed your own Emotional Intelligence (EI).
Social competence
Social awareness & relationship management skills
Ability to understand other’s moods, behaviors, & motives

17. Empathy Awareness of others’ feelings & concerns Characterized by
Understanding others
Being able to sense other’s feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns
Developing others
Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities
Service orientation
Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting others’ needs
Leveling diversity
Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
Political awareness
Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships

18. Social Skills Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others
Characterized by
Influence - wielding effective tactics for persuasion
Communication - listening, opening, and sending convincing messages
Conflict management - negotiating and resolving disagreements
Leadership - inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
Change Catalyst - initiating or managing change
Building bonds - nurturing instrumental relationships
Collaboration & Cooperation - working with others toward shared goals
Team Capabilities - creating group synergy in pursing collective goals

19. EI Strategies Don’t treat your feelings as good or bad.
Observe the “ripple effect” from your emotions.
Lean into your discomfort.
Feel your emotions physically.
Know who and what pushes your buttons.
Watch yourself like a “hawk.” Learn to ask good questions. Be more insightful about “what you don’t know.”

20. EI Strategies
Keep a journal about your emotions until you become consistent at recognizing how you are feeling.
Don’t be fooled by a bad mood. Try to understand what is behind it.
Check-in with yourself periodically.
Seek feedback from others. If people are telling you what you want to hear, you are asking the wrong people for feedback.
Ask yourself why you do the things you do?

21. EI Strategies
Get to know yourself under stress. Become astutely self-aware.
Learn to suspend judgments and assumptions.
Focus more on your own reactions/responses than on those of others.
Determine how you will manage or regulate your emotional responses. Be specific.
Determine your level of motivation in greeting challenges and ensuring your growth as a person and a professional.
Don’t try to develop your social skills or ability to be empathic until you have undertaken the development of the three personal skills involved in increasing your EIQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, and motivation.

22. Thoughts? Concerns? Inputs?
Questions?
Thoughts? Concerns? Inputs?