1. Sharon M. Danes Professor University of Minnesota Family Social Science Department 612-625-9273 sdanes@umn.edu Surviving Change in Family Finances

2. Learning Objectives Understand people’s normal responses to change in varying situations Evaluate how you view change Learn ways to develop or maintain resilience in times of change Assess your change capacity

3. People’s reactions to sudden and unplanned income loss are complex and a blend of several parts of their lives. Consequences of Unplanned Income Loss Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

4. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota. People don’t resist change; they resist being changed. People resist change.

5. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Making Change Happen: Instead of forcing people to change, remove the constraints.

6. Reactive Change Model RESPONDADAPTADJUSTCONFORM Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota. __________________________________________________________

7. Proactive Change Model __________________________________________________________ Thrive Plan for IntegrateEmbrace Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

8. Reactive ResponseProactive Response Change as Loss Change as Opportunity How much How fast How many How much control How much involvement How viewed __________________________________________________________  ` Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

9. Reactive ResponseProactive Response Change as Loss Change as Opportunity How much How fast How many How much control How much involvement How viewed __________________________________________________________  ` Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

10. Reactive ResponseProactive Response Change as Loss Change as Opportunity How much How fast How many How much control How much involvement How viewed __________________________________________________________  ` Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

11. How Change Is Viewed Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Viewchg.ppt Possession is 90% of the law. Perception is 90% of any situation.

12. Comparison of Income and Spending Decreases Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

13. Types of Change Normative Change Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Change/Typechng.ppt Non-normative Change

14. Types of Change Normative Change: The normal, everyday changes that everyone faces. Non-normative Change: Unexpected change often referred to as a crisis.

15. Outcome: Resilience For normative change: Continued ability to view change as opportunity; ability to manage at the speed of change. For non-normative change: Ability to bounce back from the consequences of unexpected change.

16. Leadership and Change: Two Dimensions 1. Personal: Assessing your view of the change before you move forward. 2. Organization: In your role as a professional, you have a critical role to instill a culture of change as opportunity within the clients with whom you work. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

17. Change Orientation Assessment How do YOU view change?

18. Your Score Add the total score in each column. Total the scores from the five columns.

19. Evaluating Your Change Orientation Score 1890 Proactive Reactive

20. Understanding Your Reaction Change as loss Change as opportunity A close friend has received a promotion he/she has long sought Your best friend has just lost his/her job. Research verifies that we follow one of two patterns of behavior following any change in our personal or work life – change as loss or change as opportunity

21. When change is seen as loss, people grieve Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Change/unexpected.ppt

22. Stages of the Grief Cycle Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying. “Normal” Functioning Return to Meaningful Life Shock & Denial Avoidance Confusion Fear Numbness Blame Acceptance Exploring options A new plan in place Anger Frustration Anxiety Irritation Embarrassment Shame Dialogue &Bargaining Reaching out to others Desire to tell one’s story Struggle to find meaning for what has happened Depression & Detachment Overwhelmed Blahs Lack of energy Helplessness The Grief Cycle is not necessarily a linear progression People can get stuck at any stage or flip back to a previous one. Decision-making is very difficult and unwise in the shock, anger and detachment stages

23. Stages of the Grief Cycle Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying. “Normal” Functioning Return to Meaningful Life Shock and Denial Avoidance Confusion Fear Numbness Blame Acceptance Exploring options A new plan in place Anger Frustration Anxiety Irritation Embarrassment Shame Dialogue and Bargaining Reaching out to others Desire to tell one’s story Struggle to find meaning for what has happened Depression and Detachment Overwhelmed Blahs Lack of energy Helplessness An individual views the situation differently after completing the Grief Cycle

24. Stages of the Grief Cycle Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying. “Normal” Functioning Return to Meaningful Life Shock & Denial Avoidance Confusion Fear Numbness Blame Acceptance Exploring options A new plan in place Anger Frustration Anxiety Irritation Embarrassment Shame Dialogue & Bargaining Reaching out to others Desire to tell one’s story Struggle to find meaning for what has happened Depression & Detachment Overwhelmed Blahs Lack of energy Helplessness What should we be especially concerned about with those who are in this diagram due to today’s turbulence? Decision-making is very difficult and unwise in the shock, anger and detachment stages

25. Decision Making in the Grief Cycle Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying. “Normal” Functioning Return to Meaningful Life Shock & Denial Avoidance Confusion Fear Numbness Blame Acceptance Exploring options A new plan in place Anger Frustration Anxiety Irritation Embarrassment Shame Dialogue & Bargaining Reaching out to others Desire to tell one’s story Struggle to find meaning for what has happened Depression & Detachment Overwhelmed Blahs Lack of energy Helplessness Shock and Denial Need for decision making often not recognized Anger Emotional drain makes decision making very difficult Depression and Detachment Hard to find the energy to make decisions

26. Decision Making in Grief Cycle Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying. “Normal” Functioning Return to Meaningful Life Shock & Denial Avoidance Confusion Fear Numbness Blame Acceptance Exploring options A new plan in place Anger Frustration Anxiety Irritation Embarrassment Shame Dialogue & Bargaining Reaching out to others Desire to tell one’s story Struggle to find meaning for what has happened Depression & Detachment Overwhelmed Blahs Lack of energy Helplessness Dialogue and Bargaining More open to exploring options and planning Acceptance Becoming empowered to make decisions again

28. Empathy not Sympathy Empathy: mentally entering into the spirit or feeling of another person; walking in another’s shoes. Sympathy: feelings or impulses of compassion. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

29. Sympathy Empathy Role Play

30. Empathy not Sympathy Empathy helps people move toward the proactive cycle. Sympathy often keeps people in the reactive mode. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

31. Sympathy vs. Empathy Sympathy increases powerlessness. Empathy creates Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

32. Sympathy vs. Empathy Sympathy feeds denial and anger. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Empathy opens your mind to

33. Sympathy vs. Empathy Sympathy keeps you stuck. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Empathy encourages reframing the situation.

34. Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota. SMD0049.ppt Words Attitudes Behaviors Incorporating Developmental Process

35. © Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota Circle of Concern

36. © Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota Circle of Concern Circle of Influence

37. © Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Things over which you do not have influence

38. © Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Things over which you do not have influence What do I have control over?

39. Response When Change is Considered Considered Adapted by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Department of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota and Robert A. Milligan, Professor, Department of Applied Economics and Management, Cornell University, from Daryl R. Conner’s book, “Managing at the Speed of Change”. There is excitement about the change decision and belief that this is the best decision. This is the “honeymoon” phase of implementation The true impact, including the “warts,” become apparent. Doubts arise about whether the change is good Checking Out: The change is now viewed as a loss rather than an opportunity Informed pessimism is an inevitable part of change as opportunity, checking out is not Horizontal axis is time – exact time is different for each change and each individual Vertical axis is the level of pessimism about the change

40. Change Reward Satisfaction InternalControl What’s Needed to Maintain Change? Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota. Maintchg.ppt

41. Tough Times Group of 17 publications In a Series www.ruralmn.umn.edu Families

42. Financial Decisions With Less Tough Times Figuring Out How to Do With Less Getting Help Dealing with the Stress Children and Tough Times

43. Adjusting to Suddenly Reduced Income Economic Adjustment Strategy Interactive Assessment www.ruralmn.umn.edu Families

44. Change: bottom of list Change: Loss, Opportunity, and Resilience www.ruralmn.umn.edu Homepage

45. Audio-streamed PowerPoint Presentations www.ruralmn.umn.edu Change and Being a Leader Change: Loss, Opportunity, and Resilience Staying Resilient in Times of Change Homepage

46. Assumptions About Change Pressure will be exerted to keep the status quo. Those who passionately want to change are often impatient for it to begin and continue. Disagreement and conflict in the change process is normal and inevitable. Those changing often make three steps forward and one backward in their progression toward change. Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota Assumpts.ppt

47. You Must BE THE CHANGE You Wish To See In The World! Mahatma Gandhi

48. Consolidating What You Have Learned… 1.What is the most valuable lesson I have learned? 2. Write it down on a piece of paper and hand to the right.