1. Writer’s Workshop: Word Choice and Other Common Mistakes By Mrs. Vessell and Ms. Drane

2. Word Choice: How can I make my paper…less boring?  Use “fresh” words that aren’t overused  Use metaphors, similes, personification, and analogies  Use powerful action verbs  IMAGERY! Use words that create a mental picture for the reader  Use “fresh” words that aren’t overused  Use metaphors, similes, personification, and analogies  Use powerful action verbs  IMAGERY! Use words that create a mental picture for the reader  Limit clichés and do not use slang  Be concise/specific. Avoid wordiness.  Use words correctly  Avoid repetition or redundancy

3. Repeated/Boring Words

4. Repetition  Repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again distracts your reader from what you’re trying to say…  …and it’s just plain boring.  Repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again distracts your reader from what you’re trying to say…  …and it’s just plain boring. Why avoid repetition?

5. Repetition Why does this happen? Sometimes writers repeat important words or phrases by trying to explain the importance of a topic. Instead, it just seems like they’re speaking in circles. Example I can describe how I am using the word “describe”. I describe this, by giving you this example of using the word “describe” too much. Describing is focusing on the thing you are trying to describe and getting stuck describing it with only that word. How can I fix this?  Use synonyms  Rephrase the concept in your own words  Use synonyms  Rephrase the concept in your own words

6. Repetition Assignment: 1.Give your paper to the person on your right.  2.Use your highlighter to mark words that are repeated too often in your partner’s paper. 3.You have 7 minutes. Why does this happen? Sometimes writers repeat important words or phrases by trying to explain the importance of a topic. Instead, it just seems like they’re speaking in circles. How can I fix this?  Use synonyms  Rephrase the concept in your own words  Use synonyms  Rephrase the concept in your own words

7. Slang and why it’s “whack” to use it…

8. Slang/Informal Language If I have to use Urban Dictionary to figure out what you’re saying… Jargon/Slang : Words or expressions that are used by a particular profession or group of people. Clichés : a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

9. Slang/Informal Language Why does this happen? Sometimes students attempt to add a little flare to papers by using slang… Well, just don’t. It is ineffective. Example The baller’s fadeaway in the movie was so epic it made me want to go outside and hoop. I can't believe that chick just dissed her bae—how rachet. How can I fix this?  Use Standard American English  Find a synonym  Use the Mrs. Vessell test… will Mrs. Vessell look at you like you have three heads if you said this word/phrase to her?  Use Standard American English  Find a synonym  Use the Mrs. Vessell test… will Mrs. Vessell look at you like you have three heads if you said this word/phrase to her?

10. Slang/Informal Language Why does this happen? Sometimes students attempt to add a little flare to papers by using slang… Well, just don’t. It is ineffective. Assignment How can I fix this?  Use Standard American English  Find a synonym  Use the Mrs. Vessell test… will Mrs. Vessell look at you like you have three heads if you said this word/phrase to her?  Use Standard American English  Find a synonym  Use the Mrs. Vessell test… will Mrs. Vessell look at you like you have three heads if you said this word/phrase to her? 1.Pass the paper you have to the person on your right.  2.Using your pen/pencil, circle words or phrases that appear to be slang or cliché. 3.You have 7 minutes.

11. Active/Passive Voice

12. Active vs Passive Voice Active Voice  Shorter/more concise  Less awkward  Format: Subject + Verb + Object  The angry penguins ate my waffle. Passive Voice  Wordy and complicated  Slows the reader down  Awkward  Format: Object + Verb + Subject  My waffle was eaten by the angry penguins.

13. Active vs Passive Voice Why is this important? You want your argument to be as direct and concise as possible. Using an active voice is a good way to get your point across without being too wordy. Example Passive Voice: The waffles were eaten by zombies. Active Voice: The zombies ate the waffles. How can I fix this?  Identifying passive voice: If you can add “by zombies” after the verb, it is in passive voice and needs to be changed into active.  Rearrange the sentence so that the subject comes before the verb.  Identifying passive voice: If you can add “by zombies” after the verb, it is in passive voice and needs to be changed into active.  Rearrange the sentence so that the subject comes before the verb.

14. Active VS Passive Voice Why is this important? You want your argument to be as direct and concise as possible. Using an active voice is a good way to get your point across without being too wordy. Example How can I fix this?  Identifying passive voice: If you can add “by zombies” after the verb (and it makes sense), it is in passive voice and needs to be changed into active.  Rearrange the sentence so that the subject comes before the verb.  Identifying passive voice: If you can add “by zombies” after the verb (and it makes sense), it is in passive voice and needs to be changed into active.  Rearrange the sentence so that the subject comes before the verb. 1.Pass the paper you have to the person on your right.  2.Find the verbs in your partner’s paper and determine whether their sentences are active or passive. 3.Put [brackets] around any examples of passive voice you can find. 4.You have 7 minutes.

15. Subject-Verb Agreement

16.  Verbs should agree with their subject in number  Singular subjects need singular verbs  Plural subjects need plural verbs  **oftentimes, singular verbs end with an s  Video: Subject-Verb AgreementVideo: Subject-Verb Agreement  Verbs should agree with their subject in number  Singular subjects need singular verbs  Plural subjects need plural verbs  **oftentimes, singular verbs end with an s  Video: Subject-Verb AgreementVideo: Subject-Verb Agreement Subject Verb

17. Subject-Verb Agreement What does this look like? Example Incorrect: Mrs. Vessell be crazy. Correct: Mrs. Vessell is crazy. How can I fix this? Many students write with many of the same patterns they use in speech. Sometimes, students will pair singular subjects with plural verbs—and vice versa.  Many times reading a sentence aloud will help you determine if there is an error in subject-verb agreement.  Sometimes fixing this error is as simple as changing the verb.  Many times reading a sentence aloud will help you determine if there is an error in subject-verb agreement.  Sometimes fixing this error is as simple as changing the verb.

18. Subject-Verb Agreement What does this look like? Many students write with many of the same patterns they use in speech. Sometimes, students will pair singular subjects with plural verbs—and vice versa. Assignment How can I fix this?  Many times reading a sentence aloud will help you determine if there is an error in subject-verb agreement.  Sometimes fixing this error is as simple as changing the verb.  Many times reading a sentence aloud will help you determine if there is an error in subject-verb agreement.  Sometimes fixing this error is as simple as changing the verb. 1.Pass the paper you have to the person on your right.  2.Find the verbs in your partner’s paper and determine whether or not their subjects and verbs agree. 3.Using your pen/pencil, underline errors in subject-verb agreement. 4.You have 5 minutes.

19. Wordiness

20. Let’s…watch a video.  Shmoop: Excessive Verbiage Shmoop: Excessive Verbiage  Shmoop: Excessive Verbiage Shmoop: Excessive Verbiage

21. Lesson Takeaways  Learn how to identify and fix errors in your own papers  When it comes down to it, remember that this is YOUR essay. You don’t HAVE to make any of the changes that your classmates suggest. If you have a question about anything, feel free to ask Mrs. Vessell or Ms. Drane.  Learn how to identify and fix errors in your own papers  When it comes down to it, remember that this is YOUR essay. You don’t HAVE to make any of the changes that your classmates suggest. If you have a question about anything, feel free to ask Mrs. Vessell or Ms. Drane.