1. Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating
Chapter Summary
What are emotions
Types of emotions
Influence of emotional expression
Guidelines for expressing emotions
Managing difficult emotions 1

2. Emotions What are Emotions? Physiological Factors Nonverbal Reactions
Strong emotions are coupled with strong physical changes
Raise in blood pressure and heart rate can occur
Nonverbal Reactions
Blushing, sweating, and fidgeting are nonverbal signs of emotion
Sometimes nonverbal reactions can cause negative emotions 2

3. Emotions What are Emotions? Cognitive Interpretations
Emotions react on a cognitive level but activity is ambiguous
If you were to measure someone experiencing a strong emotion it would be difficult to ascertain if it was fear or joy.
Verbal Expression
Though not as effective as nonverbal communication sometimes words are required to communicate emotion
Make sure the message is understood accurately 3

4. Influences on Emotional Expression
Primary and Mixed Emotions
Personality
There is a clear relationship between personality and emotions
Extroverted individuals seem upbeat and optimistic
Neurotic individuals report more negative emotion
Personality doesn’t have to govern communication satisfaction
Culture
Individualist Culture vs. Collectivist Culture
What does, “I love you,” really mean? 4

5. Influences on Emotional Expression
Primary and Mixed Emotions
Gender
Biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect and intemperate emotional expression
Research suggests that there is some truth to the unexpressive male
Women are 10-15% more accurate in remembering emotion
People in close relationships are more likely to recognize the emotional cues of their mates than those not in a relationship 5

6. Influences on Emotional Expression
Primary and Mixed Emotions
Social Convention
Unwritten rules of communication discourage the direct expression of most emotions
How many genuine emotions do you experience in public?
Social rules even discourage too much positive emotion
Boys can kiss their mother but should shake their father’s hand 6

7. Influences on Emotional Expression
Primary and Mixed Emotions
Fear of Self-disclosure
Feelings are rarely shared publicly for fear of ridicule
Those whose presenting self says one thing have a difficult if not impossible time expressing the opposite
Emotion Cognition
Emotions are transferred from one person to another
Emotions can be infectious
Crying, laughing, etc. 7

8. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
Recognize your feelings
Identifying your emotions is the first step to managing them
Distinguishing emotion is vital to your emotional intelligence
Expand your emotional vocabulary
Good or Bad vs. Terrible or Great
Emotionally counterfeit statements
When you say, “I feel like going to a show,” or I feel we’ve been seeing to much of each other,” is any feeling taking place? 8

9. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
Share Multiple Feelings
Rarely are you experiencing just one emotion
We usually communicate one emotion and often it tends to be the most negative
Consider when and where to express your feelings
Choose an appropriate time to express your feelings
That time is not always the moment you experience them
Waiting is not always a bad idea 9

10. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
Accept responsibility for your feelings
Your language should reflect the accurate emotion
“I’m feeling angry” vs. “you’re making me angry”
Be mindful of the communication channel
Choose the right channel
Face to face, , internet, etc
Understand the limitations of the channel
Remember, communication is irreversible 10

11. Managing Difficult Emotions
ABC News Video
Click on box to play video 11

12. Managing Difficult Emotions
Debilitative Emotions
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions
Facilitative
Contribute to effective functioning
Debilitative
Detract from effective functioning
Intensity
Some intensity in emotion may be constructive
While too much emotion will make the situation worse 12

13. Managing Difficult Emotions
Debilitative Emotions
Debilitative emotions break down into two categories
Anxiousness
Duration
Most debilitative emotions involve communication
Most, but all debilitative emotions lead to conflict
Some debilitative emotions take longer to recover from 13

14. Managing Difficult Emotions
Source of Debilitative Emotions
Physiology
Your genetic makeup plays a significant role
The amygdala
Hijacking the brain and sometimes the senses
Emotional Memory
Some emotional events lock themselves in your memory
These events can trigger adverse reactions 14

15. Managing Difficult Emotions
Debilitative Emotions
Self Talk
The similarities between the physical and emotional
Look at emotions in the following example
Event Feeling
Bee Sting Physical Pain Meeting Strangers Nervous Feelings
Taking Tests Heavy Anxiety
Can you come up with some others? 15

16. Managing Difficult Emotions
Irrationality and Emotions
The Fallacy of Perfection
Communicators should be able to handle every situation
The Fallacy of Approval
You need the approval of every person
The Fallacy of Shoulds
Inability to distinguish between what is and what should be
The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations
If something bad can happen it will 16

17. Managing Difficult Emotions
Irrationality and Emotions
The Fallacy of Overgeneralization
Making decisions with little information
The Causation
Irrational belief that emotions are caused by others
The Fallacy of Helplessness
Satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control 17

18. Managing Difficult Emotions
Minimize Debilitative Emotions
Monitor your emotional reactions
Recognize when you’re feeling these emotions
Change your behavior to counteract
Note the activating event
Try to identify exactly what triggered the emotion
Keep in mind it can be more than one event
Record your self-talk
Monitor your inner monologue
Keep a journal or recording of you thoughts 18

19. Managing Difficult Emotions
Minimize Debilitative Emotions
Dispute your irrational beliefs
Use the list of irrational fallacies on page to discover which internal thinking could be classified as irrational
Are your beliefs rational?
Why or why not?
What can you do differently? 19

20. Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating
Chapter Summary
What are emotions
Types of emotions
Influence of emotional expression
Guidelines for expressing emotions
Managing difficult emotions 20