1. Chapter 5: Intimacy: Developing and Experiencing Affectionate Bonds

2. Intimacy Needs Intimacy refers to
The reciprocity of trust between partners
Emotional closeness
Levels of self-disclosure between partners
Both partners are comfortable
Can openly share their thoughts and feelings

3. Intimacy Needs Need for affiliation Need to have relationships
Need fulfillment
Drive for interpersonal relations
Fulfilling psychological needs

4. Figure 5.1: The Many Contexts of Intimacy

5. Psychological Needs Intimacy
Drives us to share our innermost feelings with others
Social Integration
Needs that make us want to be part of a group
Nurture
Need to care and be cared for
Assistance
The need for assistance from others
Reassurance
Need to know we are wanted, needed and loved

6. Intimacy is Multi-contextual
Immediate Context
The physical setting in which couples interact
Personal Context
Personality traits, attitudes and belief about the relationship
Relational Context
Companionship, trust, level of commitment, needs for intimacy
Group Context
Social network of family, friends, peers, neighbors
Sociocultural Context
Norms, beliefs and ideals of the culture and subculture

7. Emotional Attachment
Emotional attachment is characterized by feelings that promote a sense of closeness, bonding, and connection
Three parts of Intimacy
Disclosing things that are personal and private
Experiencing positive feelings about each other
Having interpersonal interactions that improve understandings of each other

8. Components of Intimacy
Conflict Resolution: resolution of differences of opinion
Affection: showing feelings of emotional closeness
Cohesion: commitment to the relationship
Sexuality: communicating and fulfilling sexual needs

9. Components of Intimacy
Identity: not losing individual identity to couple identity
Compatibility: how partners relate to one another at work and play
Expressiveness: sharing personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings
Autonomy: independence and personal space

10. Types of Intimates Intimate Pseudo-intimate
Capable of experiencing closeness, forming an emotional attachment to another, committed to depth in a relationship
Pseudo-intimate
Appears to be intimate but lacks depth, never progress beyond friendship, relationships are doomed from the outset

11. Types of Intimates Pre-intimates Stereotyped relationships Isolates
Capable of intimacy, but lack the ability to sustain long-term relationships
Stereotyped relationships
Has many casual relationships but these lack depth and commitment
Isolates
Socially withdrawn with no need for close interpersonal relationships

12. Figure 5.1: Erikson’s Developmental Stages

13. Formation of Peer Groups
Stage One: Pre-Crowd Stage
Kindergarten through fifth grade
Same-sex peer groups: cliques
Stage Two: The Beginning of the Crowd
Sixth grade beginning of seventh grade
Shift to crowds of 10 or more members
Practice interacting with opposite sex
Stage Three: The Crowd in Transition
End of 8th grade - beginning of 9th grade
Smaller cliques are formed
Pairing off into boy/girl couples

14. Formation of Peer Groups
Stage Four: The Fully Developed Crowd
Made up of opposite-sex cliques
Socialization into gender role characteristics
Stage Five: Crowd Disintegration
Adolescents mature into adulthood
Become involved in serious intimate relationships
Friendships become loosely associated

15. Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development
Establishing an Identity
Beginning of individuation
Development of understanding of themselves
Clearer sense of values, beliefs, and their relationship expectations
Establishing Autonomy
Establishing a sense of independence
Taking responsibility for their own actions

16. Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development
Establishing Intimacy
Friendships become more significant
Intimacy experiences differ for males and females
Females attach more emotional importance
Females emphasize mutual understanding
Females discuss problems and activities
Males emphasize activity and achievement
Males discuss hobbies and sports more

17. Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development
Establishing Comfort with Sexuality
Capacity to have intimate relationships changes
Sexual intimacy is now possible
Early Adulthood
Referred to as the bridge years
Deeper intimacy in interpersonal relationships

18. Figure 5.2: Percentage of College Students who have same-group Friendships

19. Figure 5.3: Positive Feelings toward different Races: First Year in College Compared to Fourth Year in College

20. Obstacles to Intimacy Barriers to Developing Intimacy
Family Environment
Key to individuals capacity to experience intimacy
Family can be too emotionally close
Family environment may not encourage intimacy or emotions
Past Families and Past Experiences
Patterns of relational functioning are passed down from generation to generation
Intimacy patterns are replicated with spouses, friends, and significant others

21. Obstacles to Intimacy
Barriers to Establishing and Maintaining Intimacy
Fear of Intimacy is manifested in many ways
Fear of failure
Fear of being vulnerable
Fear of rejection
Fear of being smothered in relationship
Fear of sex

22. Obstacles to Intimacy Fear of Intimacy Fear of losing someone we love
Fear to take a risk
Fear of accepting responsibility
Fear of anger or hostility
Fear of abandonment
Fear of being found out

23. Obstacles to Intimacy
Barriers to Establishing and Maintaining Intimacy
Communication
Crucial to the process of personal sharing
Familial intimacy is not possible without effective communication
Requires personal self disclosure to promote reciprocal sharing

24. Table 5.2: Miller Social Intimacy Scale (MSIS)

25. Table 5.2: Miller Social Intimacy Scale (MSIS)