1. Communicating Closeness
Chapter 6
Communicating Closeness
Affection, Immediacy
and Social Support
Chapter 8

2. Point of Clarification
Guerrero et al. use the term closeness throughout chapter 6.
Note that some scholars refer to closeness as intimacy.
Intimacy refers to feelings of warmth, trust, and deep caring in close relationships.
Interaction plays a key role in creating and
sustaining intimacy as well as closeness.

3. Types of closeness Physical
Touching, close proximity, time together, sexual closeness
Emotional
Sharing, caring, and deep conversations
Relational
Interdependence and overlap (self- expansion)
Does a relationship need all three?
What if one form is not possible?
e.g., Physical closeness and LDR

4. Communicating closeness
Three broad categories:
Affectionate communication
Immediacy behavior
Social support

5. Affectionate communication
Behavior that portrays feelings of fondness and positive regard to another.
Signals potential increases in closeness but when withdrawn can signal decreases in closeness
Paradox of affection
Usually positive, but sometimes it can backfire.
Examples??

6. Types of affectionate communication
Direct and verbal affectionate communication
Doesn’t have the ambiguity of nonverbal messages
I like you, I love you, I am in love with you
Types: self-disclosure, direct emotional expression, compliments & praise, assurances (relationship talk)
Direct and nonverbal affectionate communication
Social meaning model of nonverbal communication
Can we tell when a hug or smile is not genuine?
What are the social cues?
Less ambiguous cues include:
Physical contact and distancing
Eye behavior
Vocalic behavior (tone, rate, pitch)

7. Types of affectionate communication (cont.)
Indirect and nonverbal affectionate communication
Support behaviors
Emotional and instrumental
Idiomatic behaviors
Behaviors move from scripted to idiomatic (meaning only known to couple)

8. Theoretical framework
Affection Exchange Theory (Floyd)
Biologically adaptive behavior that aided early survival
Reproductive advantage
1. relationships provide resources, help, protection
2. displays of affection signal potential mating/parenting skills
3. viability and fertility
Affection to children and larger family make them more likely to survive and reproduce
Displays own potential as sexual partner

9. Other benefits of giving and receiving affection
Related to mental health
People who receive affection are happier, more self- confident, less stressed, more likely to engage in social activity, and better general mental health.
People who give affection are happier, have higher self- esteem, less fear of intimacy, less susceptibility to depression, and greater relationship satisfaction.
Related to physical health
Hormones are produced that increase positive moods and decrease blood pressure and blood sugar, and lower heart rate (study--kissing lead to healthier levels of cholesterol!)

10. Affectionate communication in families
Children think affection is limited and must compete for it—parents see it as unlimited.
Sexual and genetic bonds predict affection displays
Biological children over step children
More with spouses than siblings
But siblings more than siblings-in-law.

11. Immediacy behaviors
Actions that signal warmth, communicate availability, decrease psychological or physical distance, and promote involvement between people.
Also called, “positive involvement behaviors”
Immediacy refers to a style of communication that is relevant to a variety of interaction contexts (not just close relationships)
e.g., ????

12. Immediacy (cont.) Verbal Immediacy Depth of disclosure
Word choice
Forms of address
Formal to informal
Public to idiosyncratic
Depth of disclosure
Ironically, close relationships are the place where we can let down the “smiley face” somewhat, but too much negative emotion disclosure can be a problem
Relationship indicators
Friends, dating, hanging out, boyfriend-girlfriend, partners

13. Immediacy (cont.) Nonverbal Immediacy Visual or Oculesic Behaviors
A Gestalt—processed in Context
Visual or Oculesic Behaviors
Eye contact and gaze
Pupil dilation
Spatial or Proxemic Behaviors
Intimate and personal distances
Body angle
Tactile or Haptic Behaviors
Touch helps escalate romantic relationships
Hugs, kisses, and touches to the face are especially affectionate and immediate

14. Nonverbal Immediacy (cont.)
Body Movement or Kinesics
Nodding
Open and relaxed body positions
Smiling
Body synchrony
Vocalic Communication
Animation in pitch, rate, amplitude, and duration
Vocal warmth
Chronemic Behaviors
Spending time together
Waiting for someone and being on time

15. Cognitive Valence Theory
Behavior (A increases immediacy)
Perception (Does B recognize the display?)
If no recognition, then no effect
If yes, then B experiences arousal
Arousal Level (Experienced by B)
Low arousal = no effect
Moderate arousal activates cognitive schemata
High arousal = fear, stress

16. Cognitive Valence Theory
Cognitive Schemata (Valencers)
Cultural appropriateness
Personal predispositions
Interpersonal valence, rewardingness
Relational appropriateness
Situational appropriateness
Psychological or physical state
+ valence for all 6 schemata = + relational outcomes
- valence for any of the 6 schemata = - relational outcomes

17. Cognitive Valence Theory
Positive Relational Outcomes
Favorable appraisals of partner
Reciprocity, increase immediacy toward partner
Enhance relational growth, closeness
Negative Relational Outcomes
Unfavorable appraisals of partner
Compensation, reduction in immediacy toward partner
Reduction in relational closeness, disengagement

18. Cognitive Valence Theory

19. Comfort and Social Support
Invisible Support
Through caring actions (routine affectionate behaviors)
Keeps problem in background
Person still feels capable
Both for practical and emotional support
Effective when responsive (communicates understanding, caring, and validation of partner)

20. Person-Centered Messages
High person-centered messages
acknowledge and validate the feelings and
concerns of the distressed person
Moderate person-centered messages acknowledge the distressed person’s feelings,
but do not help him/her contextualize or
elaborate feelings
Low person-centered messages
implicitly or explicitly deny the legitimacy of the distressed person’s feelings.

21. Nonverbal Immediacy To comfort a roommate after a breakup—(p. 145)
Hugs %
Close proxemic distance 40.9%
Facial expression %
Attentiveness %
Touch %
Pats %
Eye contact %

22. Sex (not gender) Differences in Affection
Both men and women value intimate relationships, though men may be more socialized into task relationships (historically)
Men friends show intimacy primarily through shared interests and activities (agentic friendships)
Women friends show intimacy primarily through self- disclosure and intimate nonverbal communication (expressive friendships)
Men display more intimate communication with women than men. (Why?)
Overall, the differences between men and women small