1. Understanding the Dynamics of Domestic Violence

2. Defining Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors that one partner uses against a current or former intimate partner.
Domestic violence occurs in intimate relationships where the perpetrator and the victim are currently or previously have been dating, living together, married or divorced.
They may or may not have children in common
Domestic violence is a PATTERN of assaultive and coercive behaviors used to exact control over an intimate partner.

3. Domestic Violence Statistics
Department of Justice statistics show that 85% of victims of domestic violence are female.
An estimated 52.3 million women are physically assaulted and 17.7 million women are raped or sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetimes.
Three U.S. women die every day at the hands of an intimate partner.
1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence at one point in their lifetime.
Domestic violence is a pervasive problem that has far-reaching consequences for society. It affects communities – large and small – and continues to be one of the most underreported crimes in America:
An estimated 52.3 million women are physically assaulted and 17.7 million women are raped or sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetimes.[i]
Every 7 seconds a woman in the US is assaulted by an intimate partner.[ii]
1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence at one point in their lifetime.[iii]
A woman’s risk of getting killed goes up 75% when she leaves the relationship or has left.[iv]
[i] U.S. Dept. of Justice, National Institute of Justice. November, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women. NCJ
[ii] Catalano, Shannan. Criminal Victimization, (Washington, DC: Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 2004).
[iii] Tjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Extent, Nature and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings of the National Violence Against Women Survey.” 2000
[iv] Wilson, M., & Daly, M. (1993). Spousal Homicide Risk & Estrangement, Violence & Victims.

4. Domestic Violence Statistics
A woman’s risk of getting killed goes up 75% when she leaves the relationship or has left.
99% of victims report having experienced some form of economic abuse and victims often cite finances as a barrier to escaping abuse.

5. The Costs of Domestic Violence
For women, homicide was the second leading cause of death on the job in 2003.
Employers absorb a large portion of the health care costs related to domestic violence, which total nearly $4.1 billion each year.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence equals $727.8 million, with more than 7.9 million paid workdays lost each year.
For women, homicide was the second leading cause of death on the job in 2003.[i]
Employers absorb a large portion of the health care costs related to domestic violence, which total nearly $4.1 billion each year.[ii]
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence equals $727.8 million, with more than 7.9 million paid workdays lost each year.[iii]
[i] U.S. Dept. of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2004). Census of Fatal Occupational Injuries: Table 4. Fatal occupational injuries by worker characteristics and event or exposure, 2003.
[ii] Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA. Retrieved January 9,
[iii] Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Atlanta, GA. Retrieved January 9,

6. Power and Control
Domestic violence is purposeful behavior. The batterer’s pattern of abusive acts are directed at achieving compliance and control over the victim.
Tactics that work to control the victim are selectively chosen by the batterer. This power permeates every aspect of the victim’s life.
Domestic violence is PURPOSEFUL. It does not take place in the heat of the moment or in a rage. The batterer is not out of control – in fact, they are doing it to maintain control.
The violence is not caused by the victim’s actions, although the batterer may convince the victim that it is. The batterer chooses when and how to perpetrate the violence to achieve a very specific response from the victim – submission.

7. Methods of Power & Control
Isolation
Verbal abuse & threats
Destruction of property
Physical battering
Sexual abuse and coercion
Stalking
Financial control
In addition to isolation, a batterer may use verbal abuse and threats, destroy property, abuse pets and children, physically and sexually abuse the victim, may stalk the victim and perpetrate financial abuse.

8. Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman’s life and circumstances.
The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.

9. The Cycle of Violence
This early theory was developed by Lenore Walker to explain and phenomenon of a “honeymoon” phase that followed a battering incident.
NNEDV no longer uses this model as it does not fit the experience of many battered women.
What is helpful to explain is that the batterer may revert to his initial charming tactics to keep the partner entrapped in the relationship and to create confusion.

10. Perpetrators of Domestic Violence
Come from all walks of life.
Extremely jealous and possessive.
Have the capacity to be very charming.
Move quickly into relationships.
Has a need for power and control. Uses both charm and assault behaviors to gain control.
Perpetrators also come from all walks of life -- all racial and ethnic backgrounds, all educational and professional levels, all income brackets.
They are often very charming, and use their charm in the beginning to lure the victim into a whirlwind romance. Later, the charm is used to deceive people outside of the relationship, limiting the number of people who would believe if the victim reported the abuse.

11. Victims of Domestic Violence
Come from all walks of life.
Predominantly female.
Develop low self esteem as a result of the battering relationship.
Are often somehow vulnerable when meeting the batterer
Are likely to take the blame for the battering or feel responsible.
Despite common misperceptions, domestic violence victims come from all walks of life. Victims come from every racial and ethnic background, education level, and income bracket.
While women and men can both be victims of domestic violence, women are predominantly the victims:
Women compose 84% of spouse abuse victims and 86% of victims of abuse by a boyfriend or girlfriend.[i]
Women are seven to fourteen times more likely to report severe violence by an intimate partner – beat them, choked or tried to drown them, threatened them with a gun, or actually used a gun on them.[iv]
Nearly 75% of murder victims killed by an intimate partner are women.[v]
It is a myth low self esteem causes someone to get into a battering relationship. However, the victim does develop low self esteem as a result of the abusive relationship.
[i] Matthew R. Durose et al., U.S. Dep’t. of Justice, Family Violence Statistics: Including Statistics on Strangers and Acquaintances 1 (June 2005)
[iv] Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep’t. of Justice, Research in Brief: Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey 7 (Nov. 1998).
[v] Callie Marie Rennison, Ph.D. & Sarah Welchans, U.S. Dep’t. of Justice, Intimate Partner Violence 1 (May 2000).

12. The Battering Relationship
Does not start out violent
There are “red flags” but they are often disregarded or mistaken for love.
Isolation: He doesn’t want me to hang out with other people = he loves me so much he wants me all to himself
The early charming behavior of the batterer is a control tactic to get the victim into the relationship and under control.
It’s important to recognize that the relationship never starts out abusive. In fact, it may seem to start out very romantic and loving. However, overtime the perpetrator will begin to use tactics “out of love” to begin controlling the victim:
“I don’t want you to wear that outfit because it will attract someone else.”
“I don’t want you to hang out with that person because they don’t like me and don’t understand our relationship.”
Soon, the victim become isolated and is in a more vulnerable position to be controlled and abused in other ways.

13. Red Flags Someone who: Seems too good to be true
Wants the relationship to move too quickly
Uses frequent criticisms and put downs
Blames past failed relationships entirely on former partner “my ex was a total bitch”
Says one thing and does another
Is extremely jealous and possessive
Has history of violence in relationships

14. How Batterers Use Children
Direct mistreatment/endangerment
Require children to monitor and report
Create an atmosphere in which they directly witness violence or the aftermath of an attack
Threats: harm, take children, hotline
Win custody
Vehicles for communication
Sow divisions within the family

15. Exercise Think of a time in your life when you needed to make a change
Why didn’t you make the change right away?
What did you need to make the change?

16. Leaving isn’t easy External Factors Internal Factors Lack of housing
Lack of money
Religion
Family
Community
Lack of support
Police
Courts
Clergy
Internal Factors
Maintain household
Children’s relationship
Feeling responsible for partner’s welfare
Love
Fear
In addition to the risks involved in leaving, many factors contribute to a victim’s decision to stay.
Battered women cite finances as the #1 reason for staying in or returning to a battering relationship.
27% of survivors have no access to cash[i]
34% of survivors have no access to a checking account[ii]
22% of survivors have no access to a car[iii]
51% of survivors have no access to a charge account/credit[iv]
Between one-quarter and one-half of domestic violence victims report that they had lost a job due, at least in part, to domestic violence.[v]
Research shows us that as a woman’s income increases, her risk of physical battering decreases.[vi]
Citations: [i] (Shepard & Pence, 1988)
[ii] (Shepard & Pence, 1988)
[iii] (Shepard & Pence, 1988)
[iv] (Shepard & Pence, 1988)
[v] U.S. Gen. Acct. Office, Domestic Violence Prevalence and Implications For Employment Among Welfare Recipients 19 (Nov. 1998) (summarizing the results of 3 studies).
[vi] (Dugan, Nagin & Rosenfeld, 1999; Smith & Brewer, 1990)

17. Leaving is high risk!
Batterers escalate in their assaultive and coercive behaviors when the victim is trying to separate
The majority of homicides occur when the victim has left the abuser or is attempting to leave.
The risk of being assaulted or stalked at the workplace increases as this may be the one place the batterer knows where to find the victim.
You cannot assume that someone will be safe once they have decide to leave or have left an abusive partner. In fact, the opposite is often true.
People are most at risk of violence when leaving, or having recently left an abusive relationship. Maintaining power and control over their partner is the essence of domestic violence. Leaving often threatens the abuser’s control, and therefore can evoke greater violence.
It may also be a time when the batterer using the charming behavior to get the partner back into the relationship and may flip flop back and forth between charming and assaultive tactics.

18. The Effects of Domestic Violence
Last long after the bruises have healed.
The average divorce involving domestic violence takes 2-4 years.
The financial impact can go on for years.
The emotional impact and long-term health complications can last a lifetime.
The impact of domestic violence lasts far longer than the bruises and broken bones.
The emotional and long-term health complications of domestic violence can last a lifetime.
The impact of financial abuse can last nearly two decades!

19. What Helps Honor the woman as the “expert” on her own life
Let her know the abuse is not her fault and she doesn’t deserve to be abused
Stay in contact to break isolation
Offer support, resources and help identify options
Facilitate safety planning
Let her know her feelings are normal
Listen