1. Increasing your happiness
The essentials from SASSPA 2019 Presentation
by Rob Asser
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

2. Creating a new habit
Brain science tells us it’s more effective to focus on what you do want rather than what you don’t.
According to Hebb’s Law, “neurons that wire together, fire together,” so focusing on breaking the old habit may actually strengthen it.
Focusing on creating a new habit forms new neural networks in the brain and gives you the best chance of embedding the behaviour as a habit
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

3. Embedding the behavior as a habit
Neuroscientist who study this have proposed three-stage process for creating,
or changing habits*.
The process involves developing a plan that contains:
a cue,
a routine
and a reward
Charles Duhigg ‘The Power of Habits.’
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

4. Habits are triggered by cues – triggers or signals that tell us to act in a certain way
To create a new habit, we need to also create a cue: something that tells us to take the next step. Working on the cue will help make or break a habit.
Identifying a good cue can be crucial. They tend to fall into one of the following categories:
location
time
emotional state
other people
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

5. Routine Define the steps you will take: the actions that you are trying to form into the habit.
For example, instead of just having the intention, “I will have more informal conversations with the team,”
Your if-then intention might be: “If I walk around the office at least three mornings a week then I will talk to the team informally.” Studies have shown that this can be very successful in helping to form new habit routines.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

6. Reward A reward is sometimes important to embed as part of a habit
Reward A reward is sometimes important to embed as part of a habit. And it’s probably the reason why just simple repetition doesn’t work sometimes.
Many studies have shown that a cue and a routine on their own aren’t enough for a new habit to last.
Only when the brain starts expecting the reward – craving the endorphins (or the smoothie/muffin) – will it become automatic.
Your cue, in addition to triggering your routine, must also trigger a craving for the reward.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

7. Often belief is strengthened with the help of a group.
If you want to avoid lapses there is one more crucial ingredient is Belief
Often belief is strengthened with the help of a group.
The more positive reinforcement you can surround yourself with, the easier it will be.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

8. So I want you to start thinking about
The creation of a new behavior you are going to adopt over the next month that increases your personal happiness
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

9. If you really want to…can we all agree?
My 2019
SASSPA
Resolution
“BE HAPPIER”
If you really want to…can we all agree?

10. happiness
/ˈhapɪnəs/
noun
the state of being happy. "she struggled to find happiness in her life"
synonyms:
contentment, pleasure, contentedness, satisfaction, cheerfulness, 
cheeriness, merriment, merriness, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joyousness, 
joviality, jollity, jolliness, glee, blitheness, carefreeness, gladness, 
delight, good spirits, high spirits, light-heartedness, good cheer, 
well-being, enjoyment, felicity
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

11. Just how happy are you? If we are benchmarking?
We have various responses
They often mask our level of true happiness
Can you make yourself even happier? 🌠
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

12. Do you believe happiness is a skill?
It turns out that we don’t just find happiness - just like we don’t suddenly find an ability to speak a new language.
Happiness, it turns out, is learned just like other skills.
  Over time, research shows we can learn to control, change, manage, and create emotional experiences. Some skills may be harder for you to learn, other skills may be easier.
The good news is that the brain is changeable throughout our entire lives. The brain’s ability to change is referred to as neuroplasticity. The more you practice happiness activities, the easier it is for your brain to generate happiness.
If you really want to
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

13. 1. Find out what to do first.
How are you supposed to build the right happiness skills if you don't know which ones you are struggling with in the first place?
You need to learn how to improve your weaknesses and build your strengths
1. Find out what to do first.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

14. 2. Give yourself a confidence boost
Why would you bother increasing your happiness if you didn't think you could be successful at it?
Your entire life is made up of different behaviours and activities that you engage in. All of these behaviours affect your happiness. Some increase it; some decrease it.
So, the more you prioritise engaging in activities that increase life purpose, meaning, and well-being, the happier you are likely to be.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

15. 3. It’s hard to be happy if you are totally tired
Create a bit of balance and overcome ‘burnout”
For a start pick some activity/obligation that is exhausting and you want to stop (not work – remember you love ‘work’)
And substitute what really gives you happiness
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

16. 4. Feel better about yourself
Dream a little perhaps…look in the mirror….tell yourself you are one fantastic person
Each morning as you get ready for the day put on some tunes that
give you a lift and smile…dance….
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

17. 5. Actively look for the gold lining in all things
Sit down from time to time and do a “grateful ledger”
Do a “body count”
But now list five things on your sheet about your life that are truly great
GRATEFUL : Feeling or showing an appreciation for something done, received or your position in life.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

18. 6. Take breaks from not so social media…
The average Facebook user uses a combination of Facebook and Instagram an average of fifty (50) minutes per day?
That’s more time than the average person spends socialising with other people and almost as much time as we spend eating.
So if you’re a Facebook user, it’s now important to ask yourself, “Is spending your time on Facebook actually making you happier?”

20. 7. Communicate kindly
Quite simply when we are kind to others, we feel better about ourselves
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

21. 8. Getting in touch with and understanding your emotions
How are you supposed to move your life forward when you don't even know what you feel or why you feel it?
To become happier, you need try to gain a fuller understanding of your emotions, find out what you are actually feeling about your life and what has caused these feelings.
When you feel happy – contemplate what is it that has actually made you happy….this is a key for your happier future
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

22. 9. Live in the moment be mindful
Look around now – how darn good is this…???? Yes….YES
Now close your eyes…breathe in deeply slowly…and repeat “how good is this”
Keep eyes closed and breathing….repeating….”how….this!”
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

23. 10. Build meaningful connections (a must do cheers list)
We enjoy just about everything more when we do it with others.
This is why one of the best things you can do for your happiness is to build real relationships and social connections.
And you can strengthen these relationships by practicing kindness and gratitude towards them – tell them you love them – tell them “this has been a great day – thanks so much”
Write down at least three people you want to tell something positive to – that you just haven’t got round to
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

24. 11. Eliminate negative patterns of thinking
Sometimes we are what's making us miserable. We just can't stop thinking about how so-and-so wronged us, or how our life didn't turn out as we hoped. Negative thought processes — like worrying, ruminating, self-judgement and fearing rejection — just keep us miserable and unable to move forward.
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

25. Creating your own Positive Position to combat negative emotions
A positive position is when you think about something that gives you great pride, pleasure – something that builds you up: It could be the thought of walking down a beach, a piece of music, your family at Sunday dinner, the face of a grandchild, your partner laughing….. So when any negative thought enters your brain… you immediately move to your positive position. In time, your brain will be able to do this more easily on its own. Exercise: Do you have your future positive position? Yes? What is it?
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

26. 12. Speak up for yourself
When we let people walk all over us, we're unhappy. But when we advocate for our own needs assertively and express ourselves we feel more in control – happier. 
The Appropriate Assertiveness technique is your friend
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

27. Appropriate Assertive Statements
When to use appropriate assertive statements
The essence of an appropriate assertive statement is being able to state your case calmly and with you in control
The best statement is free of expectations. It is delivering a clean, clear statement of how it is from your side and how you would like it to be – sometimes called an “I statement”
Delivered face to face, with a support person or via
There can be an added point of what, reluctantly, will be your next step if there is no improvement
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

28. 13. Hold yourself accountable for being happier
We are more likely to do the things if we schedule them in calendars
We stay on track when others are involved
So if you really want to be happier – don’t let yourself get away with being unhappy
© Rob Asser [ALACT]

30. In summary:
Develop your happiness skills – and develop at least one happiness habit over the next month
Be ultra optimistic in your approach to life (you’ll be happier and healthier and possibly live longer)
Let people know if they are affecting you in a negative way
Reduce your reliance on mobiles and
Laugh a lot…
GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ME AT
© Rob Asser [ALACT]