1. Divorce and Remarriage
CHAPTER 15
Divorce and Remarriage

2. Chapter 15: Divorce and Remarriage Introduction
In a sample of 2,922 undergraduates, 26% reported that their parents were divorced.
Discussion:
Why do people get divorced? What are factors that might lead to divorce? What are potential advantages and disadvantages to divorce?

3. Chapter 15: Divorce and Remarriage Chapter Outline
Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce
Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents
Consequences of Divorce for Children
Conditions of a “Successful” Divorce
Remarriage
Stepfamilies
Children in Stepfamilies
Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
The Future of Divorce and Remarriage

4. Divorce Legal ending of a valid marriage contract
Characteristics that appear to affect divorce rates:
Education and Age
Race
Religion
Previous Marriage

5. Divorce by Occupations
High- and Low-Risk Occupations for Divorce
Highest: dancer/choreographer (43%)
Bartender (38%)
Lowest: optometrist (4%)
Next lowest: clergy (5%)
Other notable divorce rates: nurses (29%), sociologists (23%), authors/teachers (15%)

6. Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship
Before ending a relationship, consider the following:
Reviving and improving the relationship
Acknowledge and accept that terminating a relationship will be difficult and painful
In talking with your partner, blame yourself for the end
Cut off the relationship completely
Learn from the terminated relationship
Allow time to grieve over the end of the relationship
Clean your Facebook page

7. Macro Factors Contributing to Divorce
Increased Economic Independence of Women
Changing Family Functions and Structure
Liberal Divorce Laws
Fewer Moral and Religious Sanctions
More Divorce Models
Mobility and Anonymity
Ethnicity and Culture

8. Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce
Differences
Falling Out of Love
Limited Time Together
Decrease in Positive Behavior
Affair
Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
Value Changes
Satiation
Perception that One Would Be Happier if Divorced

9. Divorce in Other Cultures http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs9XSTt-DIE

10. Divorce in Other Countries

11. Divorce: Top 30 Factors Courtship of less than two years
Having little in common
Marrying at 17 or younger
Differences in race, education, age, religion, social class, values, and libido
Not being religiously devout
A cohabitation history with different partners
Previous marriage
No children
Limited education
Urban residence

12. Divorce: Top 30 Factors Infidelity Divorced parents
Poor communication skills
Unemployment of husband
Employment of wife
Mental or physical disability
Having seriously ill child
Low self-esteem of spouses
Being African American
Lack of commitment

13. Divorce: Top 30 Factors Experiencing rape
Having premarital pregnancy or unwanted child
Stepchildren
High debt or sudden loss of income
Experiencing violence or abuse
Having parents who never married
Marrying someone who has been divorced
Wife earns higher income than husband
Falling out of love
Bankruptcy
*The more factors, the more likely a couple will divorce*

14. Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents
Women are significantly more likely than men to report that they initiated the breakup
Men reported more difficulty than women did in adjusting to a breakup
The passage of time and involvement with a new partner were identified as the most helpful factors in getting over a love relationship that ended

15. Financial Consequences
Who suffers more financially?
Child Support – what is the right $ amount?
Alimony – what is the right $ amount?
Prenuptial Agreement
Postnuptial Agreement
How do you feel about ^these^?

16. Fathers’ Separation from Children
Low involvement
“Divorce transforms family power from intact patriarchy to post-divorce matriarchy.”
Finley (2004, F9)
“Divorced Dads”

17. Shared Parenting Dysfunction Examples
A parent who forced the children to sleep in a car to prove the other parent had bankrupted them.
After losing a court battle over custody of the children, a noncustodial parent burned down the house of the primary residential parent.
One divorcing parent bought a cat for the children because the other divorcing parent was highly allergic to cats.

18. Parental Alienation Estrangement of a child from a parent
One parent may alienate a child from another parent
Minimizing contact
Exhibiting excessive boundaries
Having no concern for missed visits
Withholding affection
Granting autonomy to the point of indifference
Sign of alienation: irrational behavior on the part of the child toward one parent
What constitutes irrational behavior?

19. Consequences of Divorce for Children
“Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking each other. You know somebody is going to get hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a window and watch it happen.”
-Anonymous nine-year-old boy
Learn to be resilient
Closer relationships w/ siblings
Have happier parents
Learn about what not to do in relationships
Receive more attention
Psychological well-being? Grades? Peer groups?

20. Consequences of Divorce on Children
Divorce can benefit children in high parental conflict homes
Can have negative psychological effect on children
Primary factor determining the effect of divorce on children is the degree to which the divorcing parents are civil

21. Who Gets the Children? Legal Custody Physical Custody (Visitation)
Joint Custody

22. Who Gets the Children? Factors determining custody
Child’s age, maturity, sex, and activities, including culture and religion
Wishes of the child
Each parent’s capacity to care for the child’s emotional, intellectual, financial, and religious needs
Parents’ ability to agree, communicate, and cooperate in matters relating to the child
Nature of the child’s relationship to each parent
Protection for the child from physical or psychological harm
Past and present parental attitudes and behaviors
Proposed plan for caring for the child

23. Joint Custody (shared parenting)
Family relations doctrine – includes nonbiological parents
16% of separated and divorced couples have a joint custody agreement
Benefits
Less fighting between ex-spouses
Children benefit from the love and attention of both parents
Children have greater financial resources available
Stress is shared by both parents
Others?
Disadvantages
Put hostile ex-spouses in more frequent contact with each other

24. Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on Children
Healthy parental psychological functioning
A cooperative relationship between the parents
Parental attention to the children and allowing them to grieve
Encouragement to see noncustodial parent
Attention from the noncustodial parent

25. Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on Children (cont.)
Assertion of parental authority
Regular and consistent child support payments
Stability
Children in a new marriage
Age and reflection on the part of children of divorce

26. Conditions of a “Successful” Divorce
Mediate rather than litigate the divorce
Co-parent with your ex-spouse
Take some responsibility for the divorce
Create positive thoughts
Avoid alcohol and other drugs
Engage in aerobic exercise
Continue interpersonal connections
Let go of the anger for your ex-partner
Allow time to heal

27. Remarriage
One-fourth of divorcées date someone new before the divorce is final
Those without children have a higher percentage of remarrying

28. Remarriage Issues of Remarriage for the Divorced Boundary maintenance
Emotional remarriage
Psychological remarriage
Community remarriage
Parental remarriage
Economic and legal remarriage

29. Remarriage

30. Stepfamilies Blended, binuclear, remarried, or reconstituted families
Fastest growing type of family in the U.S.
Myths of stepfamilies
Unique aspects of stepfamilies

31. Stepfamilies in Theoretical Perspective
Structural-functional perspective
Integration or stability of the system is highly valued
Conflict perspective
Conflict in a stepfamily is desirable as it leads to equality and individual autonomy
Interactionist perspective
Emphasize meanings and interpretations that members of a stepfamily develop for events and interactions in the family

32. Stages in Becoming a Stepfamily
Fantasy
Reality
Being Assertive
Strengthening Pair Ties
Recurring Change

33. Children in Stepfamilies
Feelings of abandonment
Divided loyalties
New discipline
Stepsiblings
Ambiguity of the extended family

34. Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
Nurture the new marriage relationship
Allow time for relationship between partner and children to develop
Have realistic expectations
Accept your stepchildren
Establish your own family rituals
Support the children’s relationship with their absent parent
Cooperate with the children’s biological parent and co-parent
Structural solutions to problems of stepfamily living
Stepfamily education Web-based program

35. Quick Quiz Which of the following is not a macro factor of divorce?
value changes
liberalized divorce laws
women's economic independence
individualistic attitudes
Ans: A

36. Quick Quiz What is a micro factor of divorce? value changes
social pressures
religious beliefs
economic institutions
Ans: A

37. Quick Quiz
When the novelty of marriage wears off, couples usually experience:
satiation
infidelity
increased happiness
boredom
Ans: A

38. Quick Quiz
The deliberate, systematic attempt to eliminate the psychological connection of the other parent in a child's life is called:
maternal gate keeping
paternal alienation syndrome
maternal alienation syndrome
parental alienation syndrome
Ans: D

39. Quick Quiz
Compared with litigation, what is the key feature of divorce mediation?
There is lots of public exposure.
It is more expensive.
It fosters a better relationship between spouses.
It is more time consuming.
Ans: C