1. About You Lesson 1: Healthy Relationship with Me

2. Discussion What is self esteem? ‘How we feel about ourselves’
What can affect our self-esteem?

3. Learning objectives
I can explain why girls and women have periods and the possible effects.
I can explain how factors such as body image and the media can affect my confidence and self-esteem.
I can identify coping strategies and ways to feel confident about myself and my body.

4. Activity Sheet: Puberty myth-busting
Your challenge:
Sort the cards according to whether you think the statements are true or false.
If you’re not sure, put them in a separate pile.

5. FALSE You can’t go swimming if you have your period.
You can swim, horse-ride, abseil or do any of the activities you love doing. Products like tampons or period and leak-proof swimwear can help stop any flow of blood.

6. Everyone’s different. Some get lots of hair; others get none at all.
All boys get chest and pubic hair during puberty.
FALSE
Everyone’s different. Some get lots of hair; others get none at all.

7. FALSE Puberty always happens around the age of 12.
Everyone’s different. You begin when your body is ready. It’s usually between 8 and 13, but it can be earlier or later.

8. Mood swings are a normal part of puberty.
TRUE
Hormones and changes to your body can affect your mood, confidence and self-esteem. But there are ways to stay positive, which we’ll explore shortly.

9. If you miss your period, it means you’re pregnant.
FALSE
Girls miss periods for all kinds of reasons, e.g. stress, over-exercising, changes in weight.

10. Inserting a tampon means you’re no longer a virgin.
FALSE
You can only lose your virginity by having sex.

11. FALSE Masturbating too much will stop you having a baby later.
Masturbating does not affect fertility
in any way.

12. FALSE Periods are always painful.
Everyone experiences periods in different ways.
For some they are very painful; others get no pain at all.

13. FALSE The menstrual cycle always lasts 28 days.
Girls bodies are different.
Most cycles range from 21 to 35 days.

14. FALSE You should see a doctor if your penis ejaculates at night.
This is a normal part of puberty for many boys.

15. FALSE Only girls have periods. Many transgender boys and men, and
non-binary people have periods too.

16. FALSE Only girls have periods. Many transgender boys and men, and
non-binary people have periods too.

17. You can’t get pregnant if you’re on your period.
FALSE
Once your period starts, it’s physically possible to get pregnant at any time in your cycle.

18. Puberty
It usually starts between 8 and 13, but timing is different for everyone.
It’s kick-started by hormones that affect sexual reproduction – mainly oestrogen and progesterone in girls and testosterone in boys.
It can cause both physical and emotional changes.

19. Physical changes boys girls
Hair and skin become oily. Spots may develop. Hair becomes thicker
Girls experience mood swings, sexual thoughts and feelings
Boys experience mood swings, sexual thoughts and feelings
Hair and skin become oily. Spots may develop
Girls grow taller and heavier
The jaw and nose gets bigger, and the face
grows longer
Hair grows in the armpits and on the genital area (pubic hair)
There is increased sweating, especially armpits and feet
Voice
deepens
girls
boys
There is increased sweating, especially from armpits and feet
Boys grow taller and heavier
Hair grows on the face, armpits, genital area (pubic hair), and may grow on the chest, arms and legs
Periods start
Breasts begin to develop and grow
Bones increase in size and mass
Girls become curvy as hips widen

20. Physical changes (Boys)
The scrotum is the fleshy sac that holds the testes. It grows larger, becomes covered with hair and the skin texture becomes wrinklier.
The prostate gland, which produces the fluid in semen, grows.
The testes get bigger and begin to produce sperm cells.
The penis becomes bigger. Boys will have more frequent erections and may have ‘wet dreams’ when they ejaculate semen during sleep.

21. Physical changes (Girls)
The uterus gets bigger and develops a lining (endometrium) each month. If an egg is fertilised, it burrows into the endometrium and grows into a foetus.
The ovaries become larger and produce two hormones, oestrogen and progesterone when they get a signal from the pituitary gland to do this. Eggs in the ovaries ripen each month and are released (ovulation).
The vagina becomes self-cleaning. It produces a sticky discharge that can be clear, white or creamy with a faint smell. The amount of discharge varies during the month, often more just before a period. Vaginal discharge is normal.
Endometrium – This is the lining of the uterus that thickens and breaks down during the menstrual cycle. The hormone progesterone controls this.

22. The menstrual cycle
Every month or so, a woman's body prepares for possible pregnancy with a pattern of changes known as the menstrual cycle. everyone has
her own cycle, which varies in length from person to person, and even from period to period for the same person. There are four phases in the menstrual cycle, each controlled by rising and falling levels of hormones. For purposes of discussing the four stages, a 28-day cycle is used . 1 2
Phase 1 – Pre Ovulation
Although the cycle length is counted from the first day of menstruation , it is easier to explain if we start with the pre-ovulatory phase, before the egg is released.
Phase 2 – Ovulation
After the egg is released it travels along the fallopian tube to the thickening endometrium. If a sperm, which is the male reproductive cell, fertilizes the egg, a baby develops. You may find out when this very special time is by noticing your vaginal discharge which may change in volume and texture. 4 3
Phase 4 – Menstruation
The endometrium leaves the body through the vagina as a reddish
fluid containing blood.
This is your period.
Phase 3 – Premenstrual
When the egg isn’t fertilized, it breaks down and the endometrium isn’t needed. As a result, hormone levels drop causing the endometrium to shed. This is also the moment when you can experience “period pains” known as PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome).

23. But puberty is more than just diagrams!
The changes to our bodies can lead to emotional changes – all perfectly normal…
Mood swings
Need for independence
Feeling a lack of self-control
Changes to confidence
Changes to self-esteem
Sometimes, girls can feel a drop in confidence and self-esteem around the time of their period. You may feel you can’t do the things you want to do.

24. Let’s support each other
Remember that puberty is a natural part of growing up – we all go through it.
Talking can help – it’s good to share how you feel.
Be nice to yourself – do the things you enjoy and surround yourself with positive people.
Sanitary products (e.g. tampons, pads) can help manage periods so you can keep doing your favourite activities. Experiment and find the right one for you.
Make an effort to understand what you and others are going through.
Encourage each other to keep your body healthy – sleep, healthy food, exercise

25. Tampon video ‘Where to insert a tampon’

26. Media Manipulation – spot the difference
Credit: V-Magazine
Credit: BreatheHeavy

27. "With airbrushing and digital manipulation, fashion can project an unobtainable image that’s dangerously unhealthy. I’m excited about the aging process. I’m more interested in women who aren’t perfect. They’re more compelling."
Emma Watson (actress)

28. “They kept telling me to lose weight, and I was a dancer, and I was athletic, and even my manager at the time, who I no longer work with, um, was telling me, ‘You need to lose weight. You need to be thinner.’ I was like, ‘No I don’t.
If I lose any more weight, it won’t be me.”
Jennifer Lopez (singer)

29. “I do know what it feels like to eat emotionally, and…to be sad and make yourself happy with food. And then to be almost immediately sad again and now ashamed and then to try to hide those feelings with more food…I know what it’s like to have body image issues.”
Chris Pratt (actor)

30. “To some, I’m too curvy. To others, I’m too tall, too busty, too loud, and, now, too small—too much, but at the same time not enough. When I post a photo from a ‘good angle,’ I receive criticism for looking smaller and selling out. When I post photos showing my cellulite, stretch marks, and rolls, I’m accused of promoting obesity.
The cycle of body-shaming needs to end. I’m over it.”
Ashley Graham (model)

31. Activity: Change the conversation
Read the quotes on the following slides.
You have 10 seconds to come up with a response that changes the conversation and moves it away from ‘body talk’.
Examples:
“It’s really unhelpful to focus on the way people look.”
“Come on, don’t be ‘that guy’. Let’s talk about something else.”
“I’m not interested in how someone looks.”
“What do you achieve by saying that?”
Are you ready to CHANGE THE CONVERSATION?

32. “Just look at what she’s wearing today. Doesn’t she own a mirror?”

33. “He’s really just skin and bones.”

34. She really shouldn’t be eating that.”
“Look at the size of her.
She really shouldn’t be eating that.”

35. “Her face is a zit fest!”

36. Video case study: Alexa
Pause video half-way through and see next slide for discussion prompts.

37. Activity: Alexa’s action plan
Work in your groups to come up with a ‘Plan of Action’ for Alexa. Write at least three things she could do to cope with her feelings and stop her experiences online from affecting her self-esteem.

38. Seeking help
If you’re worried about anything, it’s ALWAYS best to find someone to talk to.
Family
Friends
Teachers
School nurse or counsellor
Childline – a free private and confidential service for children and young people. Counsellors listen and provide advice by phone, or web chat