1. Schneider and the American Family

2. The Symbols of American Kinship
Unconscious, underlying metaphors for how we think about the world
What is a relative?
What is a family?
How does a person become a relative?

3. Kinds of American Relatives
Basic terms
Father (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)
Mother (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)
Sister (Step-, -In-law, Half-)
Brother (Step-, -In-law, Half-)
Son (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)
Daughter (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)
Uncle (Great-)
Aunt (Great-)
Nephew
Niece
Cousin (First-, Second-, Once removed, etc.)
Husband (Ex-)
Wife (Ex-)
Derivative term modifiers
Step
In-law
Great
Grand
First
Second
Once
Twice
Removed
Half-
Ex-
Foster

4. Categories of American Relatives
By Blood
“Biogenic”
The essence/biological material of the body is shared by relatives
Genes are shared by relatives
Kinship as possession of a common substance
Mother as genetrix
Father as genitor
Mother and father contribute equally to the child’s substance
Biogenic means “natural” rather than cultural
“Real” “Blood” “True” “By Birth”
Enduring and unbreakable ties
Involuntary
By Code of Conduct
By custom, cultural rule or law
Marriage as a culturally determined phenomenon
Fictive kin
Not natural, but man-made relationships
Come about by choice and free will

5. Blood Vs Marriage (con’t)
In nature (no cultural code of conduct
Natural child (son or daughter)
Illegitimate child (son or daughter)
Natural mother
Natural Father
In law (cultural code, no nature)
Husband
Wife
In-laws (father, mother, sister, brother, etc.)
Step- (mother, father, sister, brother)
Foster (son, daughter
By Blood within cultural conventions
Father
Mother
Brother
Sister
Son
Daughter
Uncle, aunt
Niece, nephew
Grandparents
Great grand parents
Grandchildren, Great grandchildren
Cousin, first cousin, etc.

6. The Family as Set of Relatives
Conjugal Family or Family of Procreation
Nuclear Family in the U.S.
Derived from the joining of two non-relatives by cultural convention through marriage.
Sexual intercourse is what allows these two “naturally unrelated” individuals to contribute to the creation of a new person who is related by possession of essential bodily materials to both parents.
Without sexual intercourse, new blood relatives cannot be produced.
Marriage is a cultural convention that is designed to make non- relatives become relatives to one another
The “Natural” Nuclear Family in American Society Mother Father Son Daughter Living together in a single unit/household

7. Sexual Intercourse as Symbol
Marriage requires sexual intercourse as one of the duties of the husband and wife.
(Is a marriage without sex a real marriage?)
Marriage and Sexual Intercourse both unite “natural” opposites in many other ways
“Natural act (occurs throughout nature) that happens in culturally appropriate ways (where, when and with whom) as an act of free will.
Sex: Fitting genitalia together
Gender: Maleness united with femaleness
Creating blood ties out of code of conduct ties
Dividing activities and behaviors into distinctive opposing and complementary roles (code of conduct roles)
Combines physical (intercourse) with spiritual (love)
Produces cognatic/non-sexual love relationships out of conjugal/sexual love relationships.

8. Marriage and Sexual Intercourse Uniting Opposite Genders
How do we tell male from female?
Facial hair
Breasts
Temperament
Physical strength
Mechanical aptitude
Nurturing qualities
Aggression
Passivity
Genitalia
We are uncomfortable with same sex marriage precisely because we see the uniting of opposites through intercourse as an inherent part of “family.”

9. American Marriage: Unification of Sexual Intercourse and Love
Intercourse alone is not sufficient to form a family.
Love without sex is not sufficient to form a family.
Marriage presupposes that both are present.

10. Definitions of Love
An intense sexual or romantic attachment to another person.
What is attachment? Strong feelings of loyalty, affection toward someone or something. A bond with someone or something.
What does attach mean? To fasten or bind something to something else.
An intense feeling of deep affection
What is affection? A feeling of liking or caring for someone or something.
Schneider
Love is “enduring, diffuse solidarity”
Enduring = long lasting
Diffuse = pertains to a wide variety of things
Solidarity = loyalty and group affiliation - support network
Personal
Spiritual
Is a natural part of family

11. Schneider’s Types of Love
Conjugal love (sexual love)
Cognatic love (non-sexual love)

12. Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick)
Logical love (pragma)
“I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.”
Possessive, excited love (mania)
“When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.”
Selfless love (agape)
“My lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my own.”
Romantic love (eros)
“My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.”
Game-playing love (ludus)
“I get over love affairs pretty easily.”
Friendship (storge, philia)
“The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”

13. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Three main components of loving relationships
Intimacy
Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness
Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other
Desire to give and receive emotional support
Passion
Intense romantic and/or sexual desire for another person, which is accompanied by physiological arousal
Commitment
Commitment to maintain the relationship despite potential hardships

14. Sternberg’s Types of Love
Nonlove
All components of love are absent.
Liking
Intimacy is present.
Passion and commitment are absent.
Infatuation
“Love at first sight”
Passion is present.
Intimacy and commitment are absent.

15. Sternberg’s Triangular Model of Love
Liking
Intimacy
I+C
Companionate
Love
I+P
Romantic
Love
I+P+C
Consummate
Love
Passion
Commitment
P+C
Fatuous Love
Empty Love
Infatuation

16. Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t
Empty love
Commitment is present.
Passion and intimacy are absent.
Romantic love
Passion and intimacy are present.
Commitment is absent.
Companionate love
Intimacy and commitment are present.
Passion is absent.

17. Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t
Fatuous love
Passion and commitment are present.
Intimacy is absent.
Consummate love
Full or complete measure of love
Combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment
An ideal type of love
Harder to maintain than to achieve