1. Twelve Things Great Communicators Do
Linda Giglio

2. #1. Great Communications ….
… take action.
Contrary to popular belief,
communication skills are learned.

3. Stages in Learning Communication Skills
#1. Take Action
Stages in Learning Communication Skills
Integrated
Skillfulness
Awkward
Beginning Awareness

4. #2. Great Communicators …
… use Self-Talk for good. What we think, has a profound effect on how we feel and of how we communicate.

5. 1 insult + 1,000 compliments = What is Critic’s Math?
#2 Great Communications …. use self talk for good.
What is Critic’s Math?
1 insult + 1,000 compliments =

6. #3. Great Communicators Understand… Reappraisal
One of the top 5 concepts that I teach – because I believe this can change your life.

7. #3. Reappraisal
Rethinking the meaning of an event, to change the emotional impact, because changing your interpretation of the event, changes the way you feel.

8. #4 Great Communications … Pay Attention to The Perception Process
Four Steps We Use to Attach Meaning
Selection
Organization
Interpretation
Negotiation

9. # 5 Great Communicators… apply the Perception Check
The Complete Perception Check
A description of the behavior you notice.
At least two possible interpretations of the behavior.
A request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior.

10. # 6. Great Communicators …
LISTEN

11. # 6. Great Communicators … listen.
We forget 50%what we hear after we hear it.
In 8 hours it is down to 35%
After two months the average recall is about 25%
We retain 50% of what you hear right after we hear it.

12. # 6. Great Communicators … listen.
Why aren’t we better listeners?
Message Overload
Preoccupation
Rapid Thought
External Noise
Faulty Assumptions Lack of Training
MY PERSONAL PET PEEVE

13. # 6. Great Communicators … listen.
How can we become better listeners –
Hearing is NOT Listening
Talk Less
Get Rid of Distractions
Don’t Judge Prematurely
Look for Key Ideas

14. # 7 Great Communicators … …get the importance of communication and the self.
Who do you think you are? Self Concept VS Self Esteem

15. #7 Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem
Self-concept is a relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself. Self-esteem involves the evaluation of your self worth. Therefore, you need to have high self-esteem – which does not mean you are a show-off jerk.

16. # 7 Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem
Why is it important to understand this-
A big part of effective communication is to understand how people think.
We imagine that others are constantly viewing us critically if we don’t understand self-esteem.
Low esteem comes out / manifests itself as hostility toward others.

17. # 6 Self Concept / Self Esteem
Are you …
Quiet
Argumentative
Self-controlled

18. #6. Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem
People with high self-esteem tend to think well of others and expect to be accepted by them. People who dislike themselves are likely to believe others won’t like them either. We have it wrong about introverts and extroverts.

19. #6. Self-Concept vs. Self-Esteem
Why is this important … because it comes out every time we communicate. You can’t hide it ... or at least you can’t hide it for every long. And trying to hide low self-esteem is exhausting. So if you want to be an effective communicator you need to change it.

20. I can say this because I have good self-esteem.
#6 Self-Concept /Self Esteem
I Can’t Carry a Tune…
I can say this because I have good self-esteem.

21. #8 Great Communications ….understand self disclosure.
deliberately revealing information about yourself
that is significant
and would not normally be known by others.
RECIPROCITY is the dance of self-disclosure.

22. #8 Self-Disclosure Be mindful of these three things …
What is told can’t be taken back.
Don’t expect the promise of “don’t tell anyone” to be kept.
Not all self-disclosure is equally revealing. Some disclosing messages tell more about us than others.

23. #8 Self-Disclosure BENEFITS RISKS Catharsis Reciprocity
Build and Maintain Relationships
Social and Professional Influence
RISKS
Rejection
Decrease of Relational Satisfaction
Loss of Influence
Hurting the Other Person

24. #9 Great Communicators… …know Language is Power
Powerless language … takes away your authority, your power, and your intelligence.

25. #9 Great Communicators… …know Language is Power
The overuse and inaccurate use of words - Like, you know the word awesome. Like, that salad was awesome. When people say, “I literally had the worst day ever”. …

26. #9. Language is Power Powerless Language Hesitations Tag questions
Vocalized Pause Um, Er, Like, Ya Know
(Research shows this reduces perceived credibility)
Tag questions
“Its about time we get started, isn’t it?”
“… don’t you think? “
Rising Inflection
“The end of the sentence goes UP “

27. #9 Language is Power Powerless Language Disclaimers
Disclaimer is a type of powerless language where you are trying to distance yourself from the remark you are making.
Studies show that disclaimers actually increase negative judgment.
Disclaimers backfire because they cause the listen to look for and find precisely the quality that the speaker is trying to disavow.

28. #9 Language is Power Powerless Language -- Disclaimers
“I probably shouldn’t say this, but …”
“I’m not really sure, but ...”
“I don’t mean to sound judgmental but …”
“I don’t mean to sound arrogant but …”

29. #10. Great Communicators understand. the connection between
#10. Great Communicators understand the connection between Communications and Habit
Contrary to popular opinion, we do not break habits.
Your habits are what you choose them to be.
Habits encourage change by creating structures that help them florish.
Habit plays a central role in creating happiness and success.
(In communications and in every aspect of life.)

30. # 11 Great Communicators Understand…
Know what you are talking about.
The right to criticize is also the obligation to know what you are talking about.

31. #12 Great Communicators Understand…
The 5x5 Rule
(I can’t claim to have created this, but I love it.)

32. #12 Great Communicators Understand…
The 5x5 Rule – Each Day …
a. You're the average of the 5 people you spend time with.
b. You're the average of the 5 thoughts you most have.
c. You're the average of the 5 types of food you eat.
d. You're the average of the 5 things you are most grateful for today.
e. You are the average of the 5 things you are reading, thinking and talking about today.