2. Center for Conflict Resolution Serving the Kansas City area since 1999

3. Mediations help families, neighborhoods and businesses solve conflict.

4. Interactive whole classroom workshops on Conflict Resolution teach students skills for problem solving

5. Teachers and administrators model positive relationships with students through Restorative Discipline

6. Community members are trained in Restorative Justice to include everyone affected by harm in finding solutions

7. Trauma Awareness and Resilience workshops explore the inter-relatedness of justice, peace, mercy and truth

8. FIVE STEPS TO CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION

9. Dignity: It’s Essential Role in Resolving Conflict Donna Hicks Ph.D.
We are social beings, hardwired to react to the way others treat us, and we are all vulnerable. Dignity is an internal state of peace that comes with the recognition and acceptance of the value and vulnerability of all living things.

10. Ten Essential Elements of Dignity
Acceptance of Identity 6. Fairness
Inclusion Benefit of the Doubt
Safety Understanding
Acknowledgment 9. Independence
Recognition Accountability

11. Temptations to Violate Dignity
Taking the Bait 6. Avoiding Conflict
Saving Face Being the Victim
Shirking Responsibility 8. Resisting Feedback
Seeking False Dignity 9. Blaming to Deflect
Seeking False Security 10. Engaging in Gossip

12. Without using any words - Draw a picture of CONFLICT

13. When we think of Conflict…………
Anger
Frustrated
Fight
Argue
Anxious
Win/lose
Helpless
Unhappy
Confused
Exhausted
Uncomfortable
Hostile

14. If we think of Conflict as an opportunity, what are some words that come to mind?

15. Conflict as an Opportunity…………
Growth
Creativity
Improved relationships
Satisfaction
Understanding
Empathy
Expanded view
Solutions that last
Hope
Confidence
Inspiration
Gratifying

16. Position vs. Interest Position Interest Non-negotiable
Win/lose___________
Interest
What about that is important to you?
What is the underlying need?
Allows possibility for shared goals.

17. Non-anxious Presence (NAP) Family Systems Theory – Murry Bowen M.D.
A non-anxious presence will modify the anxiety of everyone. To the extent that we can recognize and contain our own anxiety, then we function as step-down transformers, or perhaps circuit breakers.

18. We can either be…

19. CURIOUS

20. or RIGHT

21. We can either…

22. LEARN

23. or PROTECT

24. Listen to Understand and Show you are Listening
With a non-anxious presence, say what you heard. Notice - FEELINGS and CONTENT
Example: “It sounds like you feel worried because the cost of your health insurance may go up.”

25. PRACTICE Find a partner - Decide who is ‘A’ and who is ‘B’
“You feel___________ because_________________”

26. FIVE STEPS TO CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION

27. RESOLVE TO UPHOLD YOUR OWN AND OTHER’S DIGNITY#1
RESOLVE TO UPHOLD YOUR OWN AND OTHER’S DIGNITY

28. MOVE TOWARD THE CONFLICT, SEEING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY#2
MOVE TOWARD THE CONFLICT, SEEING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY

29. FOCUS ON INTERESTS INSTEAD OF POSITIONS#3
FOCUS ON INTERESTS INSTEAD OF POSITIONS

30. WITH A NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE, SHOW YOU ARE LISTENING…#4
WITH A NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE, SHOW YOU ARE LISTENING…
“You feel_______because___________.”

31. CURIOUS or RIGHT LEARN or PROTECT#5
CURIOUS or RIGHT LEARN or PROTECT

32. Act as an informal facilitator (it may help you to be less emotional about the topic) and guide conversations in a FAIR and EVENHANDED way – Upholding your own and other’s dignity.

33. THANK YOU and GOOD LUCK!