2. Writing for Impact

3. Overview Information on Writing Military Style
How to Write an Effective Bullet
Examples and Quiz

4. Writing Military Style
Why is it so important?
Recognition: Quarterly and annual awards, career-specific awards—helps to build careers
Promotion: Enlisted Performance Reports
(EPRs) and Officer Performance Reports
(OPRs) are critical to the promotion system—
they can MAKE or BREAK a career!

5. Writing Military Style, cont.
Who needs to know how to write using military style?
You do here as students
Supervisors
Others involved in the writing and reviewing process

6. Writing Military Style, cont.
When can I use this information?
For yourself: Promotion Recommendation Forms (PRFs), OPRs and 1206s
For your airmen: EPRs and 1206s, other enlisted promotion packages

7. Basic Formatting Techniques
Definition (T&Q):
A clear, concise ‘bottom line’ of an idea or
a single accomplishment and its impact.

8. Basic Formatting Techniques
Definition (T&Q):
A clear, concise ‘bottom line’ of an idea or
a single accomplishment and its impact.
NOTE: Bullet format breaks the rules of standard grammar—focuses on concise specifics rather than general information

9. Basic Formatting Techniques Punctuation and Grammar
Telegraphic bullets do not have periods
Use the double dash (--), ellipsis (…) and semicolon (;) to indicate a pause or break in thought
Use exclamation marks sparingly
Generally, avoid using articles (a, an, the), conjunctions (and, but, or) and pronouns (he, she, him, her)
Avoid using negative words (isn’t, can’t)

10. Basic Formatting Techniques, cont.
Size of Bullets:
One to three lines long; primary shouldn’t have more than one or two secondary (sub-) bullets
Sub-bullets indicate result, impact or scope
Length:
Leave as little “white space” as possible….avoid
carrying over a single word to the next line—don’t
waste!
Maximize all the “white space” in the block….

11. Writing Tips
Objective: Describe an accurate word picture of an individual in the reader’s mind; approach this as a “top priority”
Outcome: This can have a direct impact on individual’s careers—you’ll have the awesome opportunity to help others obtain their goals and dreams!

12. Writing Tips, cont.
Use “hard-hitting” facts, actions and phrases; start with a strong, fact-filled statement
Each bullet should contain substance; limit fluff
Be enthusiastic, and make your writing come alive! Use active voice….
Use common terms everyday people can understand, instead of using job specific jargon
Validate with comments from outside agencies (HQ USAF, MAJCOM, Wing, etc.)

13. Three Parts to an Effective Bullet
Action
Result (aka accomplishment)
Impact

14. Three Parts to an Effective Bullet
ACTION: What did the person do?
Be specific, yet brief
Focus on what the person did and their leadership and management abilities
Example: Managed 49 LG block training

15. Examples Other words to begin the action: Spearheaded
Masterfully orchestrated
Performed
Implemented

16. Three Parts to an Effective Bullet
RESULT: What occurred because of the action?
Again, specific but brief
Quantify as much as possible: use percentages, numbers, time/money values (saved), number supervised and resource oversight
Example: provided superb training to 350 people

17. Three Parts to an Effective Bullet
IMPACT: What is the overall significance?
Qualify and quantify here too…helps the reader know why each action and result was so important
How did this impact the overall mission and/or bigger picture?
Example: reduced overdues to zero

18. Three Parts to an Effective Bullet
Completed bullet:
Managed 49 LG block training; provided superb training to 350 people…reduced overdues to zero

19. Other “Tips of the Trade”
The Last Bullets in Rating Sections
Stratification: use to rank top personnel; show how individual stands out from peers (top x%, my #1, my best)…. hard-hitting, enthusiastic, with strong
“written recommendation” for promotion
“#3 of 89 SMSgts at USAFA”
“None better! My #1 choice for training manager”
“Best in the training business! USAF Education
and Training Manager of the Year (HQs Level) for 2001!”

20. Other “Tips of the Trade”, cont.
The Last Bullets in Rating Sections
Promotion recommendations for EPRs
“Promotion to chief this board a must!”
No recommendation may be taken as “don’t promote” by readers, and viewed negatively by board members
PME or “next” job recommendation for officers
NOTE: Keep the last bullet to one line

21. CY02 Central Chief Master Sergeant Evaluation Board
Headquarters U.S. Air Force
Headquarters U.S. Air Force
CY02 Central Chief Master Sergeant Evaluation Board
15 Oct 02
15 Oct 02 02
I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e
I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e

22. Observations 15 Oct 02 STRATIFICATION IS A BIG, BIG DEAL!!!!!!
#1 of XX SMSgts
#1 of XX SNCOs
Top % of XX SMSgts
Top % of XX SNCOs
If a rater writes “top 1% of xxx SNCOs/SMSgts…make sure the XX is over 100
Need Senior Rater Endorsement
Consistent w/TIG
0-10 senior rater/0-6 senior rater…carry the same weight
Words/stratification is the key…not the grade of the senior rater
CHIEFS HAVE LOTS OF INFLUENCE
When Chiefs write, “make this individual a chief”, the other chiefs listen!
15 Oct 02
I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e
I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e

23. Other “Tips of the Trade”, cont.
For EPRs you can use additional duties and volunteer/community support activities, but use sparingly
For 1206s, typical headings include:
Leadership and Job Performance in Primary Duty
Self Improvement
Base/Community Involvement

24. A Word of Advice….
Be careful using certain words that may weaken phrases that otherwise would be strong. These can make a sterling performer into an instant weak one….
rarely
almost
usually
seldom
one-of-the

25. Examples

26. Has an action, result and impact
Good Example
Expertly administered the training requirements for 143 individuals and tracked 129 special operations courses; achieved a 100 percent course utilization rate--enhanced overall mobility readiness
Has an action, result and impact

27. Poor Example
Truly an outstanding SNCO, leader, supervisor and manager who possesses resourcefulness, initiative and charter to accept and succeed at the most demanding of tasks--exudes the Air Force in all he does
Action has no “hard-hitting” facts or result and impact; reads more like a narrative description

28. Quiz

29. Has action, result and impact
Quiz
Created a Strategic Plan for Enlisted Training; identified goals, purpose, objectives and metrics--benchmarked as model for use AF-wide
Good
Has action, result and impact

30. Has the action, but still needs the result and impact
Quiz
- Outstanding manager of resources--aggressively validated and tracked more than $300M in obligations!
Good and Poor
Has the action, but still needs the result and impact

31. Quiz
- Developed, tested and maintained certification and accreditation of all 20th Bomb Squadron computers
Poor
No result or impact; no quantification; reads more like a duty description

32. Summary Information on Writing Military Style
How to Write an Effective Bullet
Examples and Quiz

33. “Of all those arts in which the wise excel, Nature’s chief masterpiece is writing well.”
~ Duke of Buckinghamshire Sheffield