1. Shepherding Your Flock Through Trauma
When Crises Hit
Shepherding Your Flock Through Trauma

2. Possible Trauma:
Unexpected deaths
Suicide attempts
Attacks/assaults, other serious injuries
House fires
Infidelity
Unexpected illness (physical and mental)
These are scary!!
How do we respond?

3. My experiences… A Biblical Example…

4. 13 When a light wind began blowing from the south, the sailors thought they could make it. So they pulled up anchor and sailed close to the shore of Crete. 14 But the weather changed abruptly, and a wind of typhoon strength (called a “northeaster”) burst across the island and blew us out to sea.
Acts 27-28

5. 15 The sailors couldn’t turn the ship into the wind, so they gave up and let it run before the gale… 21 No one had eaten for a long time. Finally, Paul called the crew together and said, “Men, you should have listened to me in the first place and not left Crete. You would have avoided all this damage and loss.
Acts 27-28

6. 22 But take courage! None of you will lose your lives, even though the ship will go down. 23 For last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me, 24 and he said, ‘Don’t be afraid, Paul, for you will surely stand trial before Caesar! What’s more, God in his goodness has granted safety to everyone sailing with you.’
Acts 27-28

7. 25 So take courage. For I believe God. It will be just as he said
25 So take courage! For I believe God. It will be just as he said. 26 But we will be shipwrecked on an island.”
Paul encourages them without downplaying the suffering ahead
Not his first shipwreck
Acts 27-28

8. 30 Then the sailors tried to abandon the ship; they lowered the lifeboat as though they were going to put out anchors from the front of the ship. 31 But Paul said to the commanding officer and the soldiers, “You will all die unless the sailors stay aboard.” 32 So the soldiers cut the ropes to the lifeboat and let it drift away.
-Paul stays aware of the situation, gets directive
-He keeps them from giving up
Acts 27-28

9. 33 Just as day was dawning, Paul urged everyone to eat
33 Just as day was dawning, Paul urged everyone to eat. “You have been so worried that you haven’t touched food for two weeks,” he said. 34 “Please eat something now for your own good. For not a hair of your heads will perish.”
Acts 27-28

10. 35 Then he took some bread, gave thanks to God before them all, and broke off a piece and ate it. 36 Then everyone was encouraged and began to eat—37 all 276 of us who were on board. 38 After eating, the crew lightened the ship further by throwing the cargo of wheat overboard.
-Paul keeps track of their physical needs
-He infuses hope
Acts 27-28

11. 3 As Paul gathered an armful of sticks and was laying them on the fire… …a poisonous snake, driven out by the heat, bit him on the hand… 5 But Paul shook off the snake into the fire and was unharmed.
-Paul keeps serving in practical ways
-He doesn’t freak out when he is in pain
Acts 27-28

12. Outline for today:
Initial and Long-Term Response
Your Role as a Leader
Other Practical Ideas
Helping People Grieve

13. In the first hours/days:
Initial Response
In the first hours/days:
Focus on immediate needs: eating, sleeping, talking
Be prepared for other painful memories to surface for people
Be practical
Initial and Long-Term

14. In the first hours/days:
Initial Response
In the first hours/days:
Focus on immediate needs: eating, sleeping, talking
Normalize people’s reactions
There is no ‘right’ response
Initial and Long-Term

15. In the first hours/days:
Initial Response
In the first hours/days:
Focus on immediate needs: eating, sleeping, talking
Normalize people’s reactions
Be shameless in asking for help
Initial and Long-Term

16. In the first hours/days:
Initial Response
In the first hours/days:
Focus on immediate needs: eating, sleeping, talking
Normalize people’s reactions
Be shameless in asking for help
Gently check in with people
Don’t neglect your own personal needs
Initial and Long-Term

17. In the first hours/days:
Initial Response
In the first hours/days:
Help people establish some kind of structure
Try to minimize social isolation
“Just try to go to fellowship.”
Protect your people from intrusive help
Initial and Long-Term

18. In the ensuing weeks and months…
Long-Term Response
In the ensuing weeks and months…
The battle for people’s faith
Refer to counseling?
Exception: mental illness and suicidal ideations
Initial and Long-Term

19. Your Role as a Leader
Your group needs your stability, not total availability
Your own emotional response
Knowing how to help
-You are not omniscient
-You are not 100% responsible for them
Your Role

20. Your Role as a Leader
Your group needs your stability, not total availability
Your own emotional response
Knowing how to help
When to get help
Your Role

21. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
“What do you think God is trying to teach you?” NO
Other Ideas

22. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
Don’t feel like you need to correct wrong statements
“If I had been there he wouldn’t have died.”
“That’s not your responsibility.” NO
Other Ideas

23. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
Don’t feel like you need to correct wrong statements
Job 6:21, 26 – “You have seen my calamity, and you are afraid…Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation?
Other Ideas

24. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
Don’t feel like you need to correct wrong statements
Instead try, “It must be so horrible to deal with.” Or just, “Mmm-hmm. Yeah.”
Other Ideas

25. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
Don’t feel like you need to correct wrong statements
People ‘speak emotionally’ – they state facts instead of feelings. Try to respond to the feelings they can’t say.
Lee’s XSI workshop on Job
Other Ideas

26. It’s Easier to Say What Not To Do:
Don’t try to help people come to deep realizations at the front of a crisis
Don’t feel like you need to correct wrong statements
Don’t hide truth from your kids
Do find ways to share appropriately
Other Ideas

27. Helping People Grieve
You can’t rush grief – you can only slow it down
Everyone grieves differently
Grief

28. Helping People Grieve
You can’t rush grief – you can only slow it down
Everyone grieves differently
Grief

29. Helping People Grieve
You can’t rush grief – you can only slow it down
Everyone grieves differently
People need hope
Grief

30. 22 But take courage! 23 For last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me, 24 and he said, ‘Don’t be afraid, Paul…’ 25 So take courage! For I believe God. It will be just as he said. 35 Then he took some bread, gave thanks to God before them all…
Acts 27-28

31. Final Thoughts
We need to arm ourselves for suffering
1 Thes 3:4 - For indeed when we were with you, we kept telling you in advance that we were going to suffer affliction; and so it came to pass, as you know.

32. Final Thoughts
We need to arm ourselves for suffering
1 Pet 4:12 – Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you…as though some strange thing were happening to you.

33. Isaiah 43:1-3 1 But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

34. Isaiah 43:1-3 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

35. Isaiah 43:1-3 3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

36. Final Thoughts
We need to arm ourselves for suffering
You are God’s provision for your group

37. When Crises Hit Questions? Comments? Experiences?