1. Mindful Listening
More than meets the ear

2. Listening-most important
Reading-
17.1%
Speaking-
16.1%
Media Listening-27.9%
Writing-
11.4%
Interpersonal Listening-27.5%
+ 50% Listening

3. Listening process Hearing Listening
Sound waves striking eardrum causing vibration
Does not require energy
Listening
Reconstructs electro impulses into a representation of the original sound + gives meaning
Active, complex process

4. Process Mindfulness-being fully present in the moment
Fosters dual perspective
Enhances effectiveness of other’s communication
Must make commitment to attend

5. process Physically receiving messages-automatic & unhindered
Harder to pay attention with noise
Women generally more attentive than men, noticing details
Have better developed right lobes for creative & holistic thinking & will listen with both lobes of the brain
Men have better developed left lobes for analytic & linear information processing

6. process
Selecting & organizing material-what we attend to & how we organize it to understand the message
Interests, cognitive structures, expectations (package we all carry around supports the selection part of process)
Intense, standouts, unusual in flow of conversation
Greater challenging with nonassertive, quiet communication
Schemata assists us in making sense out of the message once we focus & select
Prototypes
Personal constructs
Stereotypes
Scripts
Note: we construct others & their communication when we use our schemata to makes sense of situations & people

7. process
Interpreting-be person-centered in order to get the message on the other’s terms
Make earnest effort to understand
Stay out of the other’s way

8. process
Responding –show you are following & interested throughout the interaction using:
Eye contact
Nodding
Attentive posture
Questions & comments that invite elaboration
Responsiveness demonstrates we care

9. process Remembering –retaining what you heard
Recall only about 50% of what we heard immediately after hearing it
That drops to about 35% within 8 hours
In a couple of months, drops to 25%
Figure out ways to improve that retention rate & recall

10. Types of ineffective listening- non-listening behaviors
Pseudolistening-imitating the real thing
Stage-hogging or Monopolizing-focus on self
Selective listening-focus only on what’s interesting
Insulated listening-avoid topics not want to deal w/
Defensive listening-take other’s comments as a personal attack-shaky-touchy-insecure
Ambushing-only to collect info & attack you
Insensitive listening-respond to superficial content & miss more important emotional information
Literal listening-getting & responding to only content & missing the relationship level of meaning

11. Why we don’t listen better
External obstacles:
Message Overload
Message Complexity
External Noise
Lack of Training

12. Why we don’t listen cont.
Internal Obstacles:
Preoccupation
Rapid thought
Effort
Prejudgment/faulty assumptions
Lack of apparent advantages
Reacting to emotionally loaded language
Failure to adapt to listening styles
Skills needed
Diverse culture requires it

13. Listening better Listening for pleasure Be mindful
Control distractions

14. Better listening Listening for information-gain & evaluate information
Be mindful
Control obstacles
Ask questions
Use aids to recall
Organize information

15. Listening to support Be mindful Use prompting Paraphrase
Is issue complex enough
Time & concern?
Withhold judgment?
Paraphrase in proportion to other responses
Supporting –expressions of concern, care, affection, interest, especially in times of stress & upset
DO NOT deny other the right to their feelings
Do not have to agree or approve
Note other’s reaction to your support
Support may not always be welcome

16. More listening to support
Analyzing –offering an interpretation of speaker’s message
Offer tentatively
Be sure other will be receptive to your analysis
Check your motive (ego-driven?)
Advising –help by offering a solution
Is advice needed? Wanted?
Give in right sequence
Come from expertise/experience
You need to be a close, trusted friend
Judging –evaluate other’s thoughts/behaviors
Make sure it is requested
Be genuinely constructive

17. Final guidelines Be Mindful Adapt Listen Actively It’s a choice
It’s a commitment
It compliments the other
Adapt
Situation
Other person
Listen Actively
You can burn calories!
It takes effort & an investment