1. Value Based Education Understanding The Importance For Our
Children and our Society
Mark Howerton, LMFT

2. Value-Based Goal:
The goal of Value-Based Training is to view education and discipline (instruction, parenting, or coaching) as a means of shaping the psychological character, moral virtue and developmental well-being of children and our society.

3. The Cultural Crisis: We are becoming a Narcissistic Nation
Helicopter Parenting
Child-Centered Parenting
Social media standards
Instant gratification
Side effects of the Self-esteem movement

4. The Old Discipline Dilemma:
Limitations of Reward & Punishment:
External motivation
“Getting caught” is bad
Pain Avoidance
“The absence of bad does not equal good.

5. The Brain and Values: Cognitively: the way child thinks
Biochemically: the chemistry of the emotions
4 Parts of the brain

6. 4-Part Brain Mid-Brain Frontal Lobe Sensory Input Animal Brain
This is a very powerful and very general part of the brain.
‘Lennie Small”
The executive decision making portion of the brain. Physically grows until 24 years old.
Sensory Input
The input control center receives information from our environment
Animal Brain
This portion of the brain controls our survival instinct: fight or flight

7. Value List Gratitude Respect Integrity Self Control Honesty Fun
Service
Innovation
Confidence
Self Aware
Self Regulation
Generosity
Responsibility
Leadership
Kindness
Independence
Cooperation

8. 5 parts of Social Emotional Learning (From CASEL)
Self-Awareness
Self-Manage
Social Awareness
Decision Making
Relationship
Ability to work
cooperatively &
resolve conflict
Considering the wellbeing
of self and others
Aware of one’s thoughts
& emotions
Ability to self motivate
& self regulate
Embracing tolerance
& empathy
SEL Video:

9. C.A.S.E.L. Collaborative for Academic Social and Emotional Learning
CASEL has identified five interrelated sets of cognitive, affective and behavioral competencies. The definitions of the five competency clusters for students are:
Self-awareness: The ability to accurately recognize one’s emotions and thoughts and their influence on behavior. This includes accurately assessing one’s strengths and limitations and possessing a well-grounded sense of confidence and optimism.
Self-management: The ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations. This includes managing stress, controlling impulses, motivating oneself, and setting and working toward achieving personal and academic goals.
Social awareness: The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others from diverse backgrounds and cultures, to understand social and ethical norms for behavior, and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.
Relationship skills: The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. This includes communicating clearly, listening actively, cooperating, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking and offering help when needed.
Responsible decision making: The ability to make constructive and respectful choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on consideration of ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms, the realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and the well-being of self and others.

10. Examples: 1) Always “Throw Like a girl” commercial
2) Disney and Pixar’s movie “Cars”

11. Value-Based ABC’s Affirmations: a personal “I-AM” statement
Banners: overarching values that guide your Life
Choices: making the better choice at each crossroad
Declarations: a clear statement a few you are and who you want to become (goals)
Encouragement: praise and positive reinforcement “correction does much encouragement does more”
Gratitude: the practice of being thankful for your life and your circumstances

12. Ground rules:
Insulting someone's character (their personhood) is a great offense. Any unkind statement that begins with“you are…”
Self-monitoring is a high priority. Therefore, individuals always have permission to pause for self- regulation. (1-3 minute self-regulation timeout or reset)
Understanding of: “how I treat others is reflection of how I treat or feel about myself”

13. Like learning to ride a bike
Run along side…
Instruct
Encourage
Celebrate

14. Empathy Training
S.T.O.P.
Switch To
Other’s
Perspective

15. Gratitude: Gratitude teaches empathy Gratitude reduces anxiety
Gratitude is learned

16. 10 Tips To Foster Gratitude:
Integrate it into the daily routine
Memorialize it
Be comfortable saying "no"
Enlist your children to help
Do kid-friendly volunteering
Encourage acts of generosity
Rotate toys every 2 to 3 months
Avoid or limit "Gift Getting Gluttony"
Build buy-in with others
Model healthy values

17. Group Interventions
Self-concept group: use descriptive words, or mood charts, Pictures or drawings to describe how you feel and how you feel about yourself
Self-care group: taking care of oneself is a direct reflection on how they will treat others

18. Mood Regulation
Mood regulation: be aware that you're feeling, identify what you're feeling, accept what you're feeling
The goal is to experience and resolve our challenging emotions.. Not to hide them or “stuff" them.
Self soothing or self-regulating tools: Reset, Time outs, Breathing
Connect with others about our feelings: reach out, speak-up

19. P.B.T.A.L.
Self-Regulation Tool
Pause
Breath
Think
Act
Love/Laugh

20. One minute mood changers
Give yourself one minute to decrease your stress and increase your joy.
Eat a ripe, fresh, seasonal fruit
Laugh for 90 seconds
Give or get a hug
YouTube: laughing babies
Breath: Be quiet and still
Instagram #cuteanimals
Smell flowers or essential oils
SPOTIFY a favorite song
Enjoy a hot, sweet drink
Move your body!
Pet an animal
Feel the sunshine
Gratitude sprint
Act with intention, or take a specific action to change your mood.

21. Exercises: Exercise 1: Craft project: The Ideal Self
Overview basic values
Clarify our “Ideal Self” concept
Declare and affirm our Ideal Self
Encourage and reinforce actions that align with the Ideal Self
Exercise 2: Groups
Self-concept: “taking care of ourselves is a reflection of how we will take care of others”
Mood regulation (see card as a tool)

22. Ideal Self Development
Awareness of our old patterns or natural tendencies
Clarify our ideal self
Declare, affirm and encourage being our ideal selves

23. Grumpy-self vs. Ideal-self
Rude
Inconsiderate
Grumpy
Careless
Unkind
Selfish
Fake
Spiteful
Hurtful
Entitled
Mindful
Gentle
Happy
Friendly
Kind
Empathetic
Authentic
Grateful
Respectful
Responsible

24. 3-Part Value Ed.
Understand it: defined it, and give examples or stories of it
Experience it: identify a time when you have experienced it
Express it: “What could you do to express it?” “What did you do to express it?”

26. 12 Month Teaching Themes October Responsibility November Citizenship
December Kindness
January Respect
February Honesty
March Self-control
April Tolerance
May Cooperation
(from

27. Resources: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

28. Mark Howerton, MFT 949-933-6275 www.MarkHowerton.com
BalancedLifeCounseling.com