1. Little Red Schoolhouse
1. Format and Structure
Research Essay Editing:

2. Editing: Format and Structure
1. MLA Formatting
12 pt TNR
Double-spacing (no skip lines)
Heading (due date)
Header (return line before)
1” margins
Title
2. Structure
1 Intro
3 Body Para’s
1 Conclusion
3. Citations
Parenthetical citation after all quotes
Have at least 9 Quotes
“Blah blah quote” (Surname).
4. Thesis Statement
3 claims
1 sent
Claims in order of body para’s
Understandable, in parallel construction?

3. Structure

4. Editing: Format and Structure
5. Topic Sentences
Begin every body para
2 literary devices or “aspects” + claim
6. Transition Sentences
Last sentence of Body Para’s 1 and 2 logically transition from one claim to the next
7. Embedded Quotes
No standalone quote
Sentence flows
Includes necessary context
No commentary sentence beginning, “This quote shows that…”

5. Structure Notes 2 means 1 claim Research Topic Sentence
(Lit devices or “aspect”)
1 claim
Inside or out
TimeWrite Topic Sentence
1 means
Inside
(“aspect” is roughly a weak inside claim) (Point sentence links inside to outside claim)
Research Topic Sentence = TimeWrite Thesis

6. Structure Notes Research Body Para 2 means 1 quote each 1 critic quote
Transition sentence
TimeWrite Body Para
1 means
2 quotes
0 critic
Point sentence

7. Structure

8. Editing: Format and Structure
9. Finally, Read Through the Essay
Clarity
Mark where ideas or details need more explanation
Persuasiveness
Is the argument convincing? Do quotes support the claim? Is the commentary interesting?

9. Timed Writing Thesis Statements (DRAFT)
Devices + Inside Claim
Rhetorical Analysis Essay
1 device per body para
Devices + Outside Claim
Rhetorical Analysis Essay with Outside claim
Inside Claim + Outside Claim
Literary Interpretation
Several devices or none can be evidence per body para

10. 2. Sentence and Style
Editing:

11. Vocabulary: Over-relying on simple verbs?
To be
Is, are, am
Was, were
Will, being, been
To get
To have
Has, have
Had, having
Get, gets
Got, gotten
Getting
Check out a text analysis tool:

12. Vocabulary: Over-relying on simple verbs?
To get
Before the internet, television and radio got the largest audiences.
Before the internet, television and radio attracted the largest audiences.
To be
Before the internet, television and radio were most popular.
Before the internet, television and radio predominated.
To have
Before the internet, television and radio had the largest share of the market.
Before the internet, television and radio garnered the largest share of the market.

13. Sentences: Repetitive sentence structure?
Compound sentences – two independent clauses
Combine two simple sentences, linking them a coordinating conjunction
Appositive phrases and relative clauses
Combine a shorter sentence into a relating longer one by putting the information into an appositive phrase or relative clause
Complex sentences
Vary longer sentences with shorter ones

14. Sentences: Too complicated or confusing?
Subjects
Keep subjects relatively short, compared to sentence length
Predicate
Only express 1 or 2 ideas
Body Paragraph Subjects (mainly)
Author or critic name
Means
Claim

15. Confusing, Too-Long Subjects By Prose Pro’s
Break up the Subjects, Ideas
The US carrier group it thought was near Korea probably weighed heavily on Pyongyang. So too must have China’s threat on April 12 to support UN sanctions, which could have cut their oil supply and crippled their economy.
Swap predicate for subject
Multiple factors probably weighed heavily on Pyongyang, including the US carrier group it thought near and China’s April 12th threat to support UN sanctions that could have cut oil supplies and crippled their economy.

16. Same British Writer, CNN Op-ed: The Über-Predicate
Break Up the Sentence
Perhaps, the North Koreans rightly calculated that a nuclear or intercontinental ballistic missile (“ICBM”) test was too dangerous. An ICBM, a long-range missile, would be of the kind they would need to carry a nuclear warhead to the continental United States.
Redistribute Info, Abbrev
Perhaps the North Koreans (rightly, it seems) calculated it too dangerous to test a nuclear or long-range missile – one capable of carrying a nuclear warhead to the continental United States.

17. Vocabulary: Other style ideas (we love words)
Replace Latinate, collegiate synonyms with more evocative, simple words. But don’t overdo it. And, make sure to balance out the highfalutin with the demotic nearby. This stylistic variety give the appearance of confidence.
pretentious, putting on airs, assuming <-> hoity-toity, stuffy, stuck-up
demotic, mundane, unassuming <-> humdrum, everyday, no-frills
Adverbs are generally tricky. They can sound stilted, but don’t give up on them. They just need a little love.
Use figurative language, like a simile or a metaphor you’ve seen so many poets the masters of! Just be aware to maintain a writerly tone.
Avoid clichés, unless using them self-consciously, like an ironic hipster would, as in saying, “balance out grandious synonyms with a few no-frills ones”
Good word resource:

18. Comma rules No comma before “because”
If you have 2 subjects, they should be joined with a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS), either to make a compound subject or when linking two complete sentences. Otherwise, you might have a run-on, a comma-splice, or fragment.
There are many others… googling “comma rules” won’t do you wrong!

19. Other style notes Contractions - Split Infinitives
Do not just avoid using contractions by drawing them out. Negate the opposite or near opposite. (another vocab skill)
To contract – to draw out, to extend
To use – to avoid, to refrain
An author or her words may suggest or argue – An author or her words may deny, refuse, resist
Split Infinitives
To not just use contractions -> Not just to use contractions
To only suggest -> To suggest only
Preposition stranding
Passive Voice vs. Active Voice

20. 3. Commentary
Editing:

21. Commentary – Twin functions
Explain
Goal: clarity
Elaborate (or “Unpack”)
Goal: to be insightful, interesting, novel, surprising, multifaceted, complex
Commentary answers:
How/Why does the quote evidence the claim?

22. Commentary Tips – “please elaborate”
Interpretation
Insight
Personal reaction (phrased impersonally)
Evaluation
Opinion (sparingly)
Source:

23. Commentary – More than just summary
Summary account
In this scene from the 2004 movie Shaun of the Dead, Shaun (played by Simon Pegg) wakes up with a hangover and walks to the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice cream. In his hungover condition, he does not notice anything that is going on around him. On his way to the store, he walks by what appears to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem all around him. A car window is smashed and the alarm is blaring, a person is running for his life away from zombies, there are bloody handprints on the cooler, and the convenience store clerk is missing. On his way home, Shaun passes even more zombies, including one who he mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun says, “No, I don’t have any change. I didn’t even have enough for the shop.” He makes it home safely and turns on the TV, ignoring the news reports about the zombie invasion.

24. What are the inside and outside claims?
Interpretation
In a scene from Simon Pegg’s 2004 movie, Shaun of the Dead, Shaun wakes up with a hangover and walks to the convenience store to buy a soda and an ice cream. In his hungover condition, he does not notice anything that is going on around him. This provides insight on how Shaun, like many people, lives his day-to-day life, almost as a zombie himself, just going through the motions without noticing the world in which he lives.

25. What are the inside and outside claims?
Insight
On his way to the store, he walks by what appears to be zombies roaming the street. There is mayhem all around him, but this mayhem isn’t a far cry from Shaun’s daily reality. A car window is smashed and the alarm is blaring. Today it is from a zombie, but on a normal day, a regular thief could have smashed it. A person is running for his life away from zombies, but on a normal day, it could be a person running to catch the bus.

26. What are the inside and outside claims?
Personal reaction (phrased impersonally)
There are bloody handprints on the cooler, and the convenience store clerk is missing, which, along with the creepy music soundtrack, gives a sense of impending doom as Shaun obliviously bumbles along.

27. What are the inside and outside claims?
Evaluation – correlates to outside claim?
On his way home, Shaun passes even more zombies, including one who he mistakes for a homeless person. When the zombie approaches him, Shaun says, “No, I don’t have any change. I didn’t even have enough for the shop.” Incidents like these reveal the subject of the film’s satire as what it means to be alive in the 21st century.