1. Instructor Availability E-mail: Ebranch@kaplan.edu AIM address: EleBranch Office Hours: Mondays & Thursdays 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. And by appointment

2. Unit 8 Agenda 1. First Lines: Care to Share? 2. The Revision Process 3. Writing for Clarity

4. Body Paragraphs Each main body paragraph will focus on a single idea, reason, or example that supports your thesis. Each paragraph will have a clear topic sentence (a mini thesis that states the main idea of the paragraph) and as much discussion or explanation as is necessary to explain the point. Each paragraph should provide details and specific examples to make the ideas in it clear and convincing.

5. Conclusion: Restate the thesis and pts., include a summary of ideas from main body, and then sum up your argument--hit the nail on the head again--and go to a closer, which can be a quote a question, a call to action, etc., or an examination of the “big picture.” Whatever you do, however, do not introduce a new topic. Conclusions are written from specific to general- -the opposite of Intros.

6. Revision When we revise, we are called upon to look at the paper from the reader's perspective. This process is not the same as editing or proofreading. Instead it is the point at which we address such higher order concerns as thesis, argument, organization, and clarity.

7. The Revision Checklist Find the real main point of your paper. Look at the order of your points. Look for strong and weak parts. Check that key terms are adequately defined.

8. Sometimes the trick to good organization is reorganization. Here’s what to look for…. If parts of the paper are boring…. If your real point does not show up until the end…. If you have repeated the same idea in several places…. If the essay seems choppy and hard to follow…. If your paragraphs are either too short or too long….

9. Writing with Clarity “With every word, phrase, clause and sentence we write, we should be asking, ‘Is the way we have written a sentence the clearest, most concise way to express what we are trying to say?’ ” Dreaming Toward Home. (2008). The tongue untied. Retrieved May 12, 2009, from http://www.grammaruntied.com/goals/clear.html

10. Be precise. Is this the word I mean? What connotations does this word have? Is anything vague? What's the least clear part of this paragraph, and how could I improve it? Be concise. Am I using unnecessary words? Does everything advance the paper, or is some of it just repetition? If I took out this sentence, how would the paper (or paragraph) suffer? Be consistent. Am I using one verb tense? Are my sentences grammatically correct? Does my subject agree with my verb? Have I used transitions? Keep it simple. Is any of my language pretentious? Are my sentences needlessly complex? How could I reword or break up long sentences?

11. Sentence Construction Dos Vary sentences in length & style. Put important ideas at the beginning or end of sentences. Carefully repeat key words & phrases. Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single words.

12. Sentence Construction Don'ts Avoid using forms of the verb to be unless absolutely necessary; use strong verbs instead. Avoid unnecessary repetition. Avoid constructions beginning with there is (are) or it is.

13. Revise these sentences... 1. What cleared him was that the feds found out who really had done the robbery. 2. There are several reasons why officers of the law ought to be trained in the law of the land and two of these are as follows. The first of these reasons is that police officers can enforce the law better if they are familiar with it. And second, they will be less likely to violate the rights of private citizens if they know exactly that these rights are.

14. How To Make A Paper Longer Add an example to explain your reasons. Or add a new point. Or add details. Mention other views of the subject that differ from yours and disprove them (tell why others might accept them and why you reject them.) Expand your conclusion; discuss the implications and questions your paper brings to mind. But DON’T add empty phrases, use fat margins, or a larger than normal typeface.

15. How to Make A Paper Shorter Trim wordiness. Check to see if you have repeated any point more than once. If so, decide on the most effective place to make the point and make it in one place. Avoid getting sidetracked. The digression may be interesting but it may not add to the real point of the essay. Condense minor points.

16. Proofreading Strategies 1. Read the paper aloud and slowly. 2. Read the paper backward. 3. Read for specific error types. 4. Take a break before proofreading. 5. Place a ruler under each line as you read it. 6. Read for your own typical mistakes. 7. Proofread for one type of error.

17. Final Touches Is the paper reader friendly. Are the paragraphs too short and choppy? Overly long? Look at your introduction and conclusion. Experiment with the first and last sentences of the paper by writing the idea three or four times with very different wording, then choose the best. Write a title that catches the reader’s attention and announces your specific subject.