1. Staff and Faculty Counseling Center
Emotional Intelligence and Diversity Leadership: Inspiring Heart and Soul Commitment!
Jorge Cherbosque, Ph.D.
Staff and Faculty Counseling Center
10920 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 380
Los Angeles, CA 90025
(310)

2. Characteristic of Emotional Intelligence Individuals
Vision/Identity (Coach John Wooden)
Meaning/Achievement/Contribution/ (Victor Frankel)
Change/Resilience/Acceptance (Martin Seligman)
Curiosity/Learning (Richard Feynman)
Meaningful Relationships (John Gottman)

3. From Thank God it’s Friday to Thank God I’m Here
From TGIF to TGIH
From Thank God it’s Friday to
Thank God I’m Here

4. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN A DIVERSE WORLD
“Emotional leadership is the spark that ignites an individual’s performance, creating a bonfire of success or a landscape of ashes.”
Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee, “Primal
Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance,” (HBR, December 2001).

5. Your Mojo
Mojo is that positive spirit that we have from the inside and radiates to the outside. Moro represents the moments when we do something that’s purposeful, powerful, and positive, and is recognized by the rest of the world. *Marshall Goldsmith

6. 4 Basic Requirements for Creating Extraordinary Relationships
Do You Get me? Do you really know who I am?
Do you Value me? Do you show it the way I need you to ?
Do I feel safe bringing my whole self to work?
Are you there for me? Do you “have my back?”

7. SPEED DATING/SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES

8. THE LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE

9. The Leadership Challenge
CHALLENGE THE PROCESS
Search for opportunities
Experiment and take risks
B INSIPIRING A SHARED VISION
Envision the future
Enlist others
C. ENABLING OTHERS TO ACT
Foster collaboration
Strengthen others
D. MODELING THE WAY
Set the example
Plan small wins
E. ENCOURAGING THE HEART
Recognize individual contribution
Celebrate accomplishments
“Leadership is an attitude; it is not about a position.”
-Jim Kouse & Barry Posner
9/18/2018

10. CENTER FOR CREATIVE LEADERSHIP RESEARCH
Difficulty handling change
Inability to work in a team
Poor interpersonal relationships
Primary cause of derailment in executives involved deficits in emotional competence--

11. RESEARCH
At L’Oreal, sales agents selected on EQ competencies significantly outsold those selected using the company’s old selection procedure, increasing revenue by over $2 million.
Sales agents selected on the basis of EQ competency also had a 63% decrease in turnover during the first year. 11

12. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN A DIVERSE WORLD
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to feel, understand, manage, articulate, and effectively apply the power of emotions as a source of human energy.
* Concept adapted from the work of Daniel Goleman
© EIDI Jorge Cherbosque, Lee Gardenswartz, and Anita Rowe

13. UCLA Department “X” EID Pre and Post Test Results Summary
Cohort 1
Cohort 2
Cohort 3
Question
Pre
Avg
Post
1 Give feedback in a clear and respectful way
7.7
7.8
6.9
7.4
2 Handle conflicts in a constructive way
7.0
6.2
7.5
6.6
7.1
3 Deal with uncertainty or change effectively
6.1
6.7
7.2
4 Core beliefs reflected in my decisions and actions
8.4
8.6
7.6
8.1
7.9
5 Manage anger well when faced with difficult situations
7.3
6.8
6 Understand and empathize with perspectives different from mine
6.3
8.0
7 Committed to and energized by my work
8.5
8 Build trust and connection with others

14. Cohort 1 Cohort 2 Cohort 3 Question Pre Avg Post
9 Committed to my own growth and development personally and professionally
8.8
9.0
8.1
8.5
8.3
10 Intentionally focus on development of my staff
7.9
8.6
6.5
7.8
7.3
11 Welcome and use diversity among staff
8.4
7.6
12 Understand and serve the diverse needs of customers
7.4
13 Consciously adapt to the changing requirements of the job
8.0
14 Level of engagement and commitment to my job
8.2
7.7
15 Staff’s level of engagement and commitment to their jobs
7.1
7.2
6.4
16 Challenging situation with managing staff
7.0
5.4
6.3
7.5
17 Challenging situation with customers
6.1
6.8

15. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND DIVERSITY

16. AFFIRMATIVE INTROSPECTION
Knowing what makes me tick
Being comfortable in my own skin
Being in tune with my own biases and hot buttons

17. SELF-GOVERNANCE Making ambiguity an ally Being my own change master
Getting in charge of self-talk

18. INTERCULTURAL LITERACY
Understanding the cultural “whys” behind behavior
Transcending my own perspective (empathy)
Seeing the benefits and limitations of all norms

19. SOCIAL ARCHITECTING Serving as a cultural interpreter
Communicating effectively and resolving conflicts in diverse settings
Structuring synergistic and compelling environments

21. YOUR EID SCORE
Go to the aspect where you have the greatest opportunity for growth.
How would developing your competence in this aspect help you?
What are the consequences of not developing this competence?

22. AFFIRMATIVE INTROSPECTION
Knowing what makes me tick
Being comfortable in my own skin
Being in tune with my own biases and hot buttons

23. Exercise to Explore the Questions: Do you get me? Do I get you?

24. What’s Your Personal Brand?

25. YOUR CORE VALUES AT WORK25

26. Bringing Your Whole Self To The Team

27. What’s Your Personality/Communication Style in the Team?

28. The Whole Brain Model Four quadrant metaphoric model
Preferred modes of thinking, learning and working
Based on brain research
Nature and Nurture
All styles are neutral
We have all the styles
Preferences different from competence
Similarity and complementarily
Organizations need all styles
Understand and value diverse styles

29. Card Game

30. Styles at Work Big Picture Creative The Whole Brain Model Logical
Rational
Big Picture
Creative
Interpersonal
Feelings
Organized
Planned

32. BLUE Logical Analytical Linear Thinking Quantitative Here-and-Now 2 54 9
Logical
Analytical
Linear Thinking
Quantitative
Here-and-Now

33. BLUE Argue Rationally Generalize from specifics Make things work
Problem-solve logically
Know the bottom line
Critical Analysis
Solve tough problems
Gather facts
Measure precisely
Make things work
Rational, unemotional
Consider financial aspects
Goals & outcomes
Realistic & present-oriented
Efficient

35. Green
Organized
Sequential
Safe-keeping
Planned
Detailed
Implementer

36. GREEN A rule and a place for everything
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
On time
Action-oriented
Approach problems practically
Stand firm on issues
Maintain standard of consistency
Stable leadership & supervision
Detailed plans & procedures
One thing at a time
Keep financial records straight
Neatness & protocol count
Disciplined & reliable
Order & control

38. RED
Interpersonal
Feeling-oriented
Teamwork
Intuition
Communication

39. RED Attuned to people & group dynamics Empathetic & nurturing
Experience is reality
Intuitive, understanding
Care about values
Recognize interpersonal difficulties
Helping, coaching, partnering
Participation & collaboration
Expressive, talkative, friendly
Spirituality
Personal growth
Build relationships & teams

41. YELLOW
Creative
Innovative
Holistic
Synthesizing
Visionary

42. YELLOW See the “big picture” Use metaphor Risk-taker
Recognize new possibilities
Integrate ideas & concepts
Bend or challenge established policies
Problem-solve in intuitive ways
Use metaphor
Originality & imagination
Curious & adventurous
Design/Artistic
Like variety & multi-tasking
Envision the future
Impulsive & playful

44. COMMUNICATE IN THE LANGUANGE OF YOUR AUDIENCE
Whole Brain Model Communication Preferences
LOGICAL/RATIONAL (OWLS)
Communication should be efficient and to the point
Facts, no Fluff
Technical Accuracy
Articulated ideas
Brief, Clear, Precise
Critical Analysis
Straight forward
BIG PICTURE/CREATIVE (OTTERS)
Communication should be stimulating and interesting
Metaphors
Big Picture Overview
Imaginative
Conceptual framework
Exploration
Visual
ORGANIZED/PLANFUL (BEAVERS)
Communication should be accurate and precise
Details
Thoroughness
Rules & Procedures
Action Plans
Explanations
Stay on topic
INTERPERSONAL/FEELINGS (GOLDEN RETRIEVERS)
Communication should be cooperative and pleasant
Feelings & values
Open discussion
Expression
Personal touch
Empathy & consideration
Stories & examples
Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument

45. PERSONALITY TYPE AND MOJO
BLUE: Problem solving, Analyzing
GREEN: Organization, Start to Finish
YELLOW: Creativity, Risk Taking
RED: Connecting, inclusion

46. Team Approaches “What’s the Theory of the case?”
“Challenge the Status Quo” 2 5 4 9
Define goals & objectives
Logically solving problems
Critical analysis & theory
Efficiency, cost & data
Working toward quantifiable outcomes
Strategize & visualize the future
Risk taking & experimenting
Combining & connecting concepts
Brainstorming new ideas & solutions
“Big picture” perspective
GETTING DOWN
TO BUSINESS
BREAKTHROUGH
THINKING
Team Approaches
“How can we make this happen?”
“Being part of the team”
Mediating & facilitating
Sharing, listening & expressing
Collaborating & building relationships
Intuitive sensing of underlying issues
Being sensitive to other people
Attention to detail & procedures
Moving from point A to point B
Task allocation, organization & planning
Follow-up & scheduling with time lines
Making sure everything is in order & in control
MOVING TOWARD
CLOSURE
KINDLING THE SPIRIT
OF COMMUNITY

47. Work Preferences Based on Style
_Being challenged
_Analyzing and diagnosing
_Logical processing
_Finance and numbers
_Making things work
_Dealing with the future
_Seeing the big picture
_Inventing solutions
_Developing new things
_Providing vision
_Taking risks
_Integrating ideas
_Bringing about change
_Administering
_Attending to detail
_Being in control
_Building things
_Establishing order
_Timely implementation
_Planning things out
_Providing support
_Coaching
_Working with people
_Communicating
_Building relationships
_Expressing ideas
_Teaching and training
_Persuading people
_Being part of a team

48. SELF-GOVERNANCE Making ambiguity an ally Being my own change master
Getting in charge of self-talk

49. What are the behaviors that “Kill Relationships”?
Criticism
Stonewalling/withdrawal
Not staying current
Hitting below the belt
Not letting go of an issue
Contempt
Defensiveness
Creating win-loose solutions

50. What are the behaviors that “Enhance Relationships”?
Common Vision
Valuing each other
Express fondness and admiration
In difficult times turning to your partner
Let your partner influence your decisions
When in conflict, learn to receive and repair
Accept each other

51. Rules Of Engagement During Conflict In Emotionally Intelligent Relationships
Learn to make and receive repair attempts*.
Compromise.
Be tolerant of each other’s faults.
Use “I” statements and describe behaviors.
Avoid: criticism, sarcasm, contempt and defensiveness*.
Stay current and on topic.
Take responsibility for your part.
Listen!!!
* From Gottman: 7 Skills of Highly Effective Marriages

52. PLANNED RENEGOTIATION

53. Anger Cycle*
THREAT
THREAT
ANGER
ASSUMPTIONS
* John E. Jones
POWER

54. Anger Cycle* • Loss of Control • Loss of Approval ASSUMPTIONS
THREAT
• Loss of Control
• Loss of Approval
TRIGGER
Unmet Expectations
ANGER
ASSUMPTIONS
• Self-talk
Taking Charge
• Alter Situation
• Alter Behavior
• Alter Attitude
* John E. Jones
POWER

55. What is a detonator? How you are a detonator for others?
Our Team Detonators
What is a detonator?
How you are a detonator for others?

56. Identifying Our Buttons
They are:
Our tender spots where we are most sensitive
Points of our irritation, hurt, rage or anger
Strong values triggered by specific events
Good News: You are not along -- Everyone has hot buttons!

57. Buttons
Hot buttons range from overt comments, jokes and statements to more subtle remarks or behaviors that can trigger conflict, and can be perceived as annoying, irritating and enraging to us.

58. Breaking the Anger Cycle
Trigger (unmet expectations)
Threat (control/approval)
Assumptions (self-talk)
Power assessment (actions)

59. Actions to Break the Cycle
Alter the situation
Alter your behavior
Alter your attitude

60. “HM” CONVERSATION” Facts-observables Brain-thoughts Heart-Feelings
Soul-Needs

61. H M Conversations Reality Check – Facts
Describe the situation or behaviors:
“When you say that I don’t know what I am doing”
When you talk while I am talking…”
When I see you close your eyes like that…”
A common mistake is to represent a judgment as data:
“When you withdraw…”
“When you get arrogant…”

62. Head Check – Assumptions
“H M Conversations”
Head Check – Assumptions
Describe your interpretation of the behavior or
situation (reason, motivation, implications).
“I think you don’t care about me”
“I believe you don’t know what you are doing”
“In my opinion, you are not taking good care of yourself.
For each judgment give the data, feeling and wants
to go with it.

63. “H M Conversations” Heart Check – Feelings “I feel diminished”
Describe feeling and reactions you have:
“I feel diminished”
“I feel unimportant”
“I get angry”

64. “H M Conversations” Handshake – Needs
Explain what you need from the other person.
“I need you to listen without interrupting”
“I need some suggestions about what to do instead”
I need for us to find a solution that works for both of us”

65. People Do Not Fear Change, They Fear Loss
Source: UCLA Staff & Counseling Center

66. During individual or organizational transitions, people normally experience one or more types of loss. The most common losses are in terms of:
Source: UCLA Staff & Counseling Center

67. Security – People no longer feel in control; they are uncertain what the future holds.
Competence – People feel they no longer know what to do and are embarrassed to admit this.
Relationships Familiar contact with co-workers, managers, customers, friends or family may be disrupted; people lose their sense of belonging to a team or family.
Source: UCLA Staff & Counseling Center

68. Sense of Direction – People lose an understanding of where they are going and why; meaning and mission become muddled.
Territory – There is an uncertain feeling about the area that used to be theirs, whether work space, job assignment or home.
Source: UCLA Staff & Counseling Center

69. Change: Losses and Gains

70. The Phases of Transition Through Change (Scott and Jaffe)
Transition Grids
Denial
Commitment
Resistance
Exploration
PAST
FUTURE

71. Actions to Deal with Change
• Alter the situation
• Alter your behavior
• Alter your attitude

72. INTERCULTURAL LITERACY
Understanding the cultural whys behind behavior
Transcending my own perspective (empathy)
Seeing the benefits and limitations of all norms

73. What time do you arrive at a party that is called for 6:00?

74. How do you acknowledge a gift?

75. How do you respond to an invitation?

76. How do you show appreciation as a guest?

77. Who pays in a restaurant …
with friends?
with coworkers?
with your boss?
with a customer/client?
with family?

79. AWARENESS + KNOWLEDGE = CHOICES
CULTURE = SOFTWARE*
AWARENESS + KNOWLEDGE = CHOICES
All human beings are programmed by cultural “software” that determines our behavior and attitudes.
Once we recognize what our programming teaches us, we have the capacity to control our choices
*Geert Hofstede

80. Proverbs
Create a proverb that represents the organizational culture you want.

81. The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman defines the following 5 love languages:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
From The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.

82. CULTURAL PROFILE Initiating ……………change………… …… Adapting Confronting
……………Conflict……… …
Harmonizing
Exact
……………Time…………… …
Flexible
Black and white
…Decision-Making……
Gray
Direct
……………Feedback…… …
Indirect
Racehorce
……………Pace………………
Turtle

83. ………Self- Disclosure………
CULTURAL PROFILE
Product/task
……………Focus………………
Process/rela tionship
Competitive
……………Motivation………
Collaborating
Right brain
……………Thinking………… …
Left Brain
Facts
…Communication……
Feelings
Private
………Self- Disclosure………
Open

84. EMPATHY IS … Identifying Feelings Accepting Feelings
Responding to Feelings
Relating if you can

85. EMPATHY IS NOT … Reassuring Arguing/Defending Giving the “facts”
Problem solving

86. CRITICAL BEHAVIORS FOR EMPATHY
Abandon your perspective
Suspend judgment
Active listen to the essence of the content and the feelings
Call upon your compassion and acceptance

87. SOCIAL ARCHITECTING Serving as a cultural interpreter
Communicating effectively and resolving conflicts in diverse settings
Structuring synergistic and compelling environments

88. The 6 Things of My Desired Work Environment in the Next 2 Years

89. To Create an Extraordinary Team
KEEP TAKE AWAY
STRENGTHEN ADD

90. What happened? We generally know the person that we want to become
Why don’t we become this person?
Millions of Americans:
Disengaged
Depressed
Not achieving personal goals
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

91. Why is change so difficult?
New Year’s resolutions that are never achieved?
Coaching clients that don’t change?
Our daily failures to do – even the small things – that we plan?
Employee engagement is not improving
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

92. The great Western disease
I will be happy
when…
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

93. *From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith
A tale of Goddesses
Fortuna
vs.
Disciplina
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

94. Fortuna Luck Random chance Uncontrollable variables Fate
Half a trillion dollar investment
What we cannot control
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

95. Disciplina Hard work Discipline Education Frugality Motivation
What we can control
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

96. Two simple definitions
Determinism – the hand of cards that we have been dealt.
Free will – how we play the hand of cards that we have been dealt.
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

97. What is deterministic (we cannot change)
Genetics
Age
Most macro issues
Other people (short term)
The past
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

98. What is choice (we can change)
Ourselves
Attitude
Behavior
Learning
Influence
Our team
Our function
Our company (long term)
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

99. MOJO That positive spirit toward what you are doing now
that starts from the inside
and radiates to the outside
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

100. Happiness and meaning Defined from the inside not the outside
Changes constantly as we journey through life
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

101. A new model for planning the future
Creating ourselves
Creating our team
Creating our function

102. Becoming the person we choose to become *From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith+
Creating
CHANGE
Inventing
Adding
Eradicating
Improving
Preserving
Eliminating
Maintaining
Reducing
Making Peace
Delaying
KEEP -
Accepting

103. Creating Creating the person that we want to become Blocks to creating
Fears that inhibit creating
The role of identity (self-stereotyping)
Hope for the future
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

104. Preserving What do we want to preserve? Gratitude for the past
The challenge of executing vs. generating
Why too much focus on preserving can be a problem
Kodak
The old IBM
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

105. Eliminating Knowing what to eliminate Knowing when to eliminate
The danger of over-commitment
The challenge of new technology
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

106. Accepting ‘Letting go’ of the past Am I willing at this time?
Forgiving
Prioritizing
Accepting environmental limitations
*From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith

107. Becoming the person we choose to become *From Mojo; Marshall Goldsmith+
Creating
CHANGE
Inventing
Adding
Eradicating
Improving
Preserving
Eliminating
Maintaining
Reducing
Making Peace
Delaying
KEEP -
Accepting