1. The Dark Side of Jealousy and Envy
Merve Kızıltaş
Can Akın

2. What is the main distinction between jealousy and envy?

3. In jealousy, a valued relationship is already possessed and there is a perceived danger of losing it. In envy, the person does not possessed a valued commodity but wishes to possessed it. In jealousy, people are trying to preserve their current relationship against threats, in envy people want something that they don’t possess.

4. Are jealousy and envy always bad? If not, how can they be positive?

5. No they are not. Jealousy sometimes can show love and affection
No they are not. Jealousy sometimes can show love and affection. It is also helpful to understand how much a person cares about another. Envy can motivate people to improve themselves.

6. Sometimes we make self-comparisons to others which are negative but we don’t feel envy. Why does this happen? Can you give examples to this situation?

7. This happens because the situation which we make self-comparison might not be relevant to us. For example we can give the Olympics example which we have in our text book. In this example when we see successful athletes in the Olympic games, we do self comparison but we do not get envy because even though we admire their talent, we don’t necessarily want to be athletes like them.

8. For jealousy and envy there are four areas in which they are higher than the other one. What these four areas?

9. For jealousy, the areas are distrust, fear, uncertainty, and loneliness. For envy, the areas are disapproval, longing, motivation, and degradation.

10. Why can jealousy be considered as a two-edged sword? Please explain.

11. Jealousy is considered a two edged sword because in the one edge there is expression of love and in the other edge there is perceived paranoia.

12. How did jealousy evolved from 1945 to today?

13. Between 1945 to 1965, jealousy was the proof of love
Between 1945 to 1965, jealousy was the proof of love. According to the magazines, certain amount of jealousy is also good for marriage. They cautioned women to curb their own jealous feelings but to embrace the jealousy of their husbands. Between 1970 to 1980, jealousy became a personality defect by popular press. Jealousy became an evidence of distrustfulness, suspicion, and insecurity because of the liberation of the society. Today, jealousy is still seen as a personality defect, but with the increasing awareness about AIDS in 1990’s jealousy became a justifiable emotion.

14. Why envy is considered as one of the seven deadly sins
Why envy is considered as one of the seven deadly sins? Why jealousy is not one of them ?

15. Envy is considered as one of the seven deadly sins because envious people feel shame, embarrassment, guilt, sinfulness and worry about disapproval. Jealous people on the other hand do not feel sinfulness when they got jealous because jealous people are trying to protect their current relationship.

16. What is emotional devastation and how does it relate to jealousy?

17. The sum of feelings like helplessness, insecurity, confusion, fearfulness, anxiety, depression, and exploitation is called emotional devastation. It is a common response to jealousy.

18. What are the five different kinds of emotion that related to envious emotional devastation?

19. Frustrated desire, sadness and distress over feelings of inferiority, agent focuses resentment, global resentment, and guilt are the five different kinds of emotion.

20. What are the negative emotions that are related to both jealousy and envy?

21. They are fear, anger and sadness.

22. What are the four reasons that makes the partner a more likely target of anger and aggression than their rivals?

23. 1) Jealous people have greater access to their partners.
2) Jealous people perceive that their partners are breaking a commitment and it is the partner who betray themselves, not their rivals
3) The rival may not know the extent to which the partner is already committed and thus, the rival may be unknowingly engaging in a hurtful act.
4) It may be difficult for the jealous person to blame the rival for being attracted to the partner when he or she feels the same attraction.

24. What are the interpersonal consequences of jealousy?

25. Uncertainty, suspicion, and distrust are the interpersonal consequences of jealousy.

26. Can you give an example to cognitive jealousy and behavioral jealousy?

27. Cognitive jealous people have suspicious thoughts and worries, whereas behavioral jealous people engage in surveillance behaviors like questioning the partner or making surprise visits.

28. What is reactive retribution?

29. The situation of trying to get revenge from your partner because he or she provokes jealous feelings.

30. Under which conditions is envy strongest?

31. When a negative self to other comparison is there, when the area of envy is self relevant, and finally when the envious person and the rival share a close relationship and have similar abilities.

32. What are the three coping behaviors that an envious person should engage in order to alleviate negative behaviors?

33. The first behavior is self-reliance, which is about keeping busy and refusing to ask others for help. The second one is self-bolstering, which is about focusing on the positive qualities of the self. The third one is selective ignoring, which is about re-evaluating the importance of a goal to make it less self-relevant.

34. What are the four types of antisocial behavior described by Messman?

35. They are social distance, general anxiety or defensiveness, noncooperative efforts and finally, self- focus.

36. What is the difference between malevolent and nonmalicious envy?

37. Malevolent envy is more about negative emotions, whereas nonmalicious envy is more about positive emotions. When a person with malevolence envy sees the area of envy as a competition between the self and the others, a nonmalicious envious person can be proud of the other person for having a quality that the person does not possess.