1. Perceptual positions
NLP
Joy Churcher

2. Perceptual positions

3. First position Perceptual Positions with another person
The subject explores being firstly, then another person (for example, someone she is having a difficult relationship with) and thirdly a neutral observer, watching herself and the other person. We will refer to these positions as A, B and C respectively. The subject physically moves to a different place in the room each time and experiences each state as fully as possible, prompted by the facilitator who will ask questions like:
· What are you seeing now regarding B?
· What are you feeling about B?
· What are you hearing from and saying to B?
· What do you want from B?
· What would be your ideal relationship with B?
· Imagine you have your ideal relationship with B: how does that look/sound/feel? What has changed?

4. First position
Your sense of self resides in first position. This is where you naturally perceive your environment and the people in it. You will use words such as ‘I’ and 'me' to describe your experience, and have your own way of standing and gesturing that is personal to you. In this position you're associated, looking through your own eyes, hearing through your own ears (plus your internal dialogue) and are aware of the feelings in your body. If you can see yourself in your mind's eye then you are dissociated, and that’s not in first position.
When you would use first position
There are many benefits to using first position. When you're deciding on an outcome it's important to know what you want. It's the position from which people are assertive, expressing their view, and pursuing their own goals. Carrying out an ecology check from this position when considering outcomes ensures the action you commit to fits with your sense of identity.
Disadvantage to first position
In first position you only think about how things affect you because all you are aware of is your own perspective. If you only operated from this position you'd become egotistical, narcissistic and insensitive to the feelings of other people, and could easily end up trampling on them

5. Second Position
Now the subject moves into second position, choosing another place in the room, imagining she is the other person she has nominated. The facilitator encourages her to ground herself fully in that experience, imagining what it feels like physically to be the other person as well as emotionally, asking similar questions to the ones above. In this position, if she addressed herself, ie the person sitting in position 1, she would say ‘you’ rather than ‘I’. So the questions would take the form of:
· What are you seeing now regarding A?
· What are you feeling about A?

6. Second Position
In second position you imagine stepping into the shoes of someone in a particular interaction and experiencing the world through their eyes. You take on their posture, breathe the way they do, and act as if you were them. You see, hear, feel, taste and smell their reality. Dissociating from your own thoughts, feelings and beliefs and associating into the 'other', you 'see' yourself through their eyes - and think of that person as 'you', not ‘I’. As you do this you increase your awareness of what things might be like for the other person. The more you can take on their beliefs, values, Meta Programs and other aspects of their internal representations, the more accurate you will be.
When you would use second position
By adopting second position you can obtain important new information about your relationship with the other person. You’ re able to develop empathy and compassion for them. You can also gather useful information about yourself in this process too. In our mind's eye we can look at ourselves, see your own facial expressions, your body language, hear your own voice, and get a sense of what it's like to be on the receiving end of your own behaviour. This means you now have increased choice about how to interact with the other person, which is especially useful when you couldn't figure out why they were behaving the way they were.
Diadvantage of second position
Those who get 'stuck' in second position can become easily influenced by others, and prioritize their needs over their own. Accepting other people's version of things can lead to a loss of self-confidence and self-esteem which can hold you back from fulfilling your potential. When you continually put yourself last there can be a tendency to take on other people's problems, which leaves you emotionally drained.

7. Third position
Thirdly, the subject chooses another site in the room and from there is asked similar questions about the other two people: herself and her nominated person. From this position, she would refer to the other two as ‘she’ or ‘he’, in the third person, and the questions would be posed as:
· What are you seeing now regarding A and B?
· What do you notice about how A is feeling?
· What do you notice about how B is feeling?
· What is A saying to herself?
· What is B saying to himself?
· What does A want?
· What does B want?

8. Third position
Third position is like the fly on the wall or a CCTV camera. We see, hear and feel what an interaction is like from an external perspective. From this viewpoint we're able to stand back and perceive the relationship between ourselves and others. This places us outside the communication process and allows us to act as a witness to what takes place. In third position we are associated but detached from the interaction, which allows us to feel resourceful and analyse what's happening. The information we gather can then be taken back to first position.
When to use third position
The objectivity we get from standing back or taking a this fly on the wall viewpoint can be extremely valuable. When we're in the situation our emotions can get in the way of noticing what's going on, particularly when there's conflict or aggressive behaviour. Third position is sometimes also called 'Meta' position, and features in many NLP patterns and change techniques, providing an opportunity for the person to stand outside their own experience when that's required

9. Fourth position
There could be a fourth position, perhaps looking at the situation from the point of view of the organization, the world, or the extended family as appropriate.
Between each position, the facilitator ensures that the subject does what in NLP is termed ‘breaking state’. This means simply getting right out of one position before assuming the next. Techniques for doing this are to shake oneself, recite one’s phone number backward, have a drink, or do anything else that engages the mind and body.

10. Perceptual positions with self
In this form, the second position does not have to be another person whom a subject knows. For example, he can choose an object in the room which represents what he wants to explore, or think of a metaphor, or choose a character from history or myth, an idea, a movie, a principle; he could choose an animal, bird or plant. In third position he would do the same as before, ie regard the first two positions, and the relationship between them, from a neutral standpoint.
The power of this exercise is that it frees the subject’s mind to go into a metaphor of his own choosing, which tends to bring the unconscious mind, or, to put it another way, his intuitive powers, strongly into play when attempting to solve a problem or move forward in an area of his life or work.
The Perceptual Positions process relates to the ‘R’ in the ‘GROW’ coaching model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will)

11. References
Romilla Ready, Kate Burton: Neuro Linguistic Programming for Dummies (2004 John Wiley & Sons)
(accessed 16/06/17)
(accessed 16/06/17)