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Developing Self-leadership competence
CELG 2014, Vajta, Hungary Developing Self-leadership competence I am grateful for Carmelita’s, Yohanan’s and Rachel’s feedback and input on these 2 sessions. Session 1: What is it & Laying the foundations © Copyright Coaching 4 work & life. All rights reserved.
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What is Self-leadership
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 What is Self-leadership Introduction An overview: What is self-leadership? Critical Foundations You – fully alive in Jesus
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Exercise: Who is God calling you to become in the next 10 years? Who will you be & what will you be doing? What will you have accomplished? How will you feel about yourself? What have others experienced through you? Think & write about this for 3 minutes. Turn to someone next to you and share for 1 minute each.
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What is Self-leadership
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 What is Self-leadership The process to influence yourself (to reach your goals so that your fruit remains). Paul writes: 1. Timothy 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness (mental & emotional, identity), but rather in speech, conduct: behavior, physical love, faith and purity: mental, emotional & spiritual show yourself an example of those who believe. > this implies that you first lead yourself! "If you want to lead others well, you must first lead yourself well - because you are the only person you can truly change!"
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The Self-leadership Wheel
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus
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Self-leadership in Context
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Feedback Learning You - fully alive in Jesus Leading Self Others Culture Nations Society Institutions Ministries Teams Bases Influence Empower Servant of all
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Self-leadership Categories
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Self-leadership Categories
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 How do I set motivating short & long term goals? How do I effectively stay focused on reaching them? How do I overcome obstacles and deal with distractions? Jesus only did his Father’s will and knew how to fulfill it. E.g. A daily, weekly, monthly routine where a block of time is set aside to evaluate progress towards goals and adjustments and commitments are made, accomplishments are celebrated.
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 I set clear goals for my personal life and ministry calling I set both short and long term goals that are motivating I prioritize, commit and follow through on clear actions towards my goals I set goals for my personal and career development I listen to my intuition I overcome obstacles and stick to my intentions I deal with interruptions and distractions I can say ‘no’ My mindset strengthens me to pursue my goals. I acknowledge that where I am, what I think and what I feel is because I made a choice to be there.
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How do I recognize and use my emotions and how they affect me?
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 How do I recognize and use my emotions and how they affect me? How do I motivate myself when I face challenges? How do I resist impulses or temptations? Jesus experienced joy and discouragement, temptations - yet stayed focused on doing his Father’s will. I used to answer: “I’m fine”. It’s important to know how you feel in words! Expand your emotional vocabulary! E.g. Keeping a daily log for 1 week. Noting every 2 hours the activity I am involved in and describing the feeling I have while doing that.
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 I know how to encourage myself (e.g. ‘David encouraged himself in the Lord”. I learn from failure and mistakes, rather than letting mistakes and failure discourage me. I visualize how to improve in specific areas of my life When facing new challenges, I benefit from having overcome challenges in the past I know what tasks bring joy to me I pay attention to my emotional reactions and control them appropriately I know how emotions influence my behavior I can deal with ‘negative’ emotions so they don’t hinder me
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 How do I increase and maintain my energy? How do I rest best and get refreshed? Jesus rested, walked, ate, etc. E.g. Instead of taking the elevator, I take the stairs. Or, I stand up every 20 minutes to stretch; a time reminds me. I take a short nap of minutes to get reenergized during my day when I lack mental or physical energy. I go outside and stretch in the fresh air.
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 I know how to increase my energy for mentally demanding activities I regularly exercise to stay fit I intentionally stop to relax during my day I know how to relax when I am under increased stress I consume stimulants (sugars, caffeine, alcohol, etc.) moderately so they don’t impact my efficiency I get sufficient rest and sleep I plan days and periods of rest to completely disconnect from work I can change unhealthy habits
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 How do I change my habits? How could I influence others through being an example? Who could I learn from? Jesus said: I have given you an example that you should do as I have done. E.g. At the end of my day I take 5 minutes to reflect on my reactions to my colleagues and family. What thoughts or conversations did I have when a relationship had tension or had harmony? What did I say? Body language?
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 I learn from positive role models when changing or improving work habits I am realistic about how long it takes to change my habits and practice new ones I plan time in my schedule to prepare myself for significant events I can redirect an old habit that creeps in I create a work environment that has a positive impact on me and enhances my performance I lead by example when desiring a change in my colleagues’ behavior I offer something to others, not only expecting something from others I am realistic with what I can and cannot change in my work environment
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But where do we start? "It is the capacity to develop
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 "It is the capacity to develop and improve their skills that distinguishes leaders from followers."
-Warren Bennis and Bert Nanus But where do we start? Bert Nanus: expert on leadership, Warren Bennis: organizational scholar and consultant on leadership
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Self-leadership Foundations
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Self-leadership Foundations Reflection + Awareness Action = ReflAction!
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Developing Reflection
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Developing Reflection Reflect: Paying attention to yourself to gain awareness I regularly reflect: daily, weekly, monthly I take a personal retreat for reflection I reflect on and evaluate my progress towards my goals I journal on a regular basis I ask for feedback / 360 I pay attention to my reactions, thoughts, feelings, inner monologue, behavior, without judging prematurely How have I used my strengths? How could I use them more? I recognize patterns and potential areas for change. Taking 5 minutes at the end of the day to reflect. Taking 1 hour on Fridays to review the week and plan more details for next week’s priorities Before starting my work day, taking 5 minutes to write down today’s priorities.
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Developing Awareness YWAM CE – CELG 2014
Re-Think: Using Awareness in the moment: In daily situations, I use what I am aware of to make appropriate changes I recognize how my reactions, thoughts, feelings etc. hinder me towards reaching my goals and make adjustments I have a realistic view of who I am (not inflated, nor depreciating who I am) I am who God made me to be: not more, not less. I am confident in who God made me to be Writing down a list of my personality strengths and reviewing them weekly. How did I use them during the week? Where/when could I have used them more this week?
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Knowing & Doing YWAM CE – CELG 2014
Re(k)new: Influencing yourself to intentional action: I set realistic and motivating goals for my personal growth & development I take responsible and realistic steps towards my goals I take responsibility for the results/outcomes: I don’t blame others or take a victim mentality I influence my thinking, feeling, behavior intentionally My priorities and daily tasks are aligned with my short and long term goals I live more fully, being renewed in my mind by the truth/word of God. I abide in God. I focus on 1 area of change, set a clear goal and commit to some action/s that move me towards the change.
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Exercise: How could you build in reflection time (daily, or weekly, or monthly)? Think & write about this for 3 minutes. What difference would the reflection make in my life and work? What is my next first step in that direction? (e.g. write it in my calendar!) Turn to someone next to you and share for 1 minute each.
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Self-leadership Resources
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Self-leadership Resources Leading from the inside out – a booklet on self leadership: understanding my relationships, my work and my priorities. By Stephen Mayers – Euros 4.- plus postage/shipping. Contact: Take the on-line self-leadership competence assessment and receive an 18 page personalized report with explanations and exercises to set goals for growth. Conference discount: $10.- instead of $15.- Mention in your CELG2014 Contact:
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Developing Self-leadership competence
CELG 2014, Vajta, Hungary Developing Self-leadership competence Session 2: Realistic Self-Perception
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The Self-leadership Wheel
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus
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YWAM CE – CELG 2014 What happens when you as a leader don’t pay attention to who you are or who you are to become? Exercise: Reflect for 1 minute, then share in threes for 3 minutes (1 min each). Confusion of where you can give your best. Plateauing. No boundaries. Isolating yourself. Independent spirit.
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Be who you are called to become!
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus Be who you are called to become! “Mature ministry flows out of mature character.” – Robert Clinton John Calvin: “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God.”
Augustine: “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know Thee.” It’s easier to focus on what we are doing and make external changes, than focusing on who we are to become. Both are important! Inner change most often precedes outward change.
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Be who you are called to become!
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus Be who you are called to become! King Saul… lessons about leadership and success Some despised him… Not everyone will like you! Watch over your heart! When I saw the people scattering… Fear of man: relying on your own resources and what people think rather than trusting God and what he says. Success/validation: In sacrifice, the external, strength, numbers Success/validation = simply obey God, listening to him Inferiority: though you were little in your own eyes 1. Sam 15:17 When someone succeeds: can you celebrate, rejoice and give credit to another? When things go wrong: blaming others, rather than taking responsibility Timing: now by my power or waiting and trusting God’s time Overcoming my sense of inferiority… others can do a better job… coming to: trusting Jesus in me. Where I am at, giving my best is good enough! They way I am at this point is good enough for God to use me, and at the same time being committed to growing more in him. I recognize that my decisions affect the whole, therefore I consult, share, get input before finalizing, as I respect and honor others.
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Be who you are called to become!
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus Be who you are called to become! Pride Inferiority Lacks character to carry the weight of responsibility Putting yourself down Not living up to God given potential Isolation Validation through people Masks Insecurity Inadequacy Value in role Gal 4:19 until Christ is formed in you. Courage, Vulnerability Value in God Humility Being fully human/spiritual Confidence in God I see myself as part of the whole Overcoming my sense of inferiority… others can do a better job… coming to: trusting Jesus in me. Where I am at, giving my best is good enough! They way I am at this point is good enough for God to use me, and at the same time being committed to growing more in him. I recognize that my decisions affect the whole, therefore I consult, share, get input before finalizing, as I respect and honor others.
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Be who you are called to become!
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 You - fully alive in Jesus Be who you are called to become! “What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.” C.S. Lewis It takes courage to tell who we are (we all have areas we need to grow in). Being honest about it, frees us to grow. It takes courage to give and receive feedback, to have honest conversations! Being vulnerable: I don’t have it all together, but I’m not going to hide or pretend. I am going to risk to contribute. Your relationship with God & your relationships with others & your relationship with yourself! I can excuse my being an introvert to be quiet and not share or only after others have shared. It helps to decide to share early in a meeting!
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Therefore… YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Giving and asking for feedback!
You - fully alive in Jesus Giving and asking for feedback! Being vulnerable, honest, humble! – no masks! Committing to become all God intended! I am significant! There is no one else like me: I better step up to give what I have been given! Taking responsibility (don’t blame, not being a victim)! I am responsible for my development as well as for what I do! I develop healthy relationships & accountability. If something is not clear, I take initiative to communicate to find out! Being confident: God is with me, what he started he will complete!
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Exercise: Ask Jesus: what do you like about me TODAY?
YWAM CE – CELG 2014 Exercise: Ask Jesus: what do you like about me TODAY? You - fully alive in Jesus Listen for 1 minute. Then write it down. What difference does this make now in how I see myself? What do I want to do about that? Share with 1 other person.
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