3. HOOK! Make the reader want to read your essay with a strong start. Focus on your main topic. FUNNEL! Move from the general hook to the specific thesis statement. Get more specific as you move through the introduction And the THESIS STATEMENT!

4. So, let’s say we have our thesis statement. We worked really hard on it to make it good. Here it is: The jealousy that the Queen feels throughout Snow White, originally collected by Jacob Grimm, is the primary cause of her untimely death. Pretty decent. It might need some work, but it basically makes sense and meets the qualifications of a thesis statement. Next, we need to think about how to introduce this topic of “jealousy” and “hook” the reader. After that, we’ll need to connect the hook to the thesis statement by using a “funnel”. Here we go…

5. For instance, start with a(n)... Anecdote/Story Problem Contrast Unusual Fact or Statistic Be creative, not cliché! Avoid quotes, questions, definitions... BUT, really be HONEST and ask yourself, “is this truly entertaining, interesting, or attention grabbing?”

6. HOOK! Take a look and these and see if they pass your test. Going through adolescence is tough, even under the best of circumstances. What is a best friend? Bravery. How is this word defined? “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend” (William Blake). The word hero conjures images of a lavish lifestyle, unordinary bravery, and great respect. One imagines a knight in shining armor or Superman; however, this isn’t always the case.

7. Tragic hero is an oxymoron: How can a hero possibly live a tragic life? The word hero conjures images of a lavish lifestyle, unordinary bravery, and great respect. One imagines a knight in shining armor or Superman; however, this isn’t always the case.

8. Decent: “To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self” (Joan Didion). BETTER: The headlines of the March 18 th, 2004 edition of the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary Murders Boss and Wife.” A secretary had viciously murdered her boss and his wife of 18 years in their Oak Park home and tore up every single photograph of the couple before she left the house. Why would she do this terrible deed? What could compel her to carry out such a heinous crime? Simply put, she was jealous of beautiful life her boss and his wife had together.

10. Although many people deny it, envy is something that plagues almost everyone. Millions of people buy gossip magazines every day, gawking at the lifestyles of the rich and famous. This common emotion is usually not a problem when kept in check. Everyone is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner; however, when jealousy leads to treachery- or even worse, murder- it has the power to ruin lives.

11. The jealousy that the Queen feels throughout Snow White, originally collected by Jacob Grimm, is the primary cause of her untimely death.

12. The headlines of the March 18 th, 2004 edition of the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary Murders Boss and Wife.” A secretary had viciously murdered her boss and his wife of 18 years in their Oak Park home and tore up every single photograph of the couple before she left the house. Why would she do this terrible deed? What could compel her to carry out such a heinous crime? Simply put, she was jealous of beautiful life her boss and his wife had together. Although many people deny it, envy is something that plagues almost everyone. Millions of people buy gossip magazines every day, gawking at the lifestyles of the rich and famous. This common emotion is usually not a problem when kept in check. Everyone is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner; however, when jealousy leads to treachery- or even worse, murder- it has the power to ruin lives. The jealousy that the Queen feels throughout Snow White, originally collected by Jacob Grimm, is the primary cause of her untimely death. thesis

13. ***If you feel the switch from funnel to thesis is too abrupt, make it more subtle. Remember, the funnel goes from general to specific. So, feel free to mention the author/title at the end of your funnel if you want so as to make a smoother transition to your thesis statement. Like here: The headlines of the March 18 th, 2004 edition of the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary Murders Boss and Wife.” A secretary viciously murdered her boss and his wife of eighteen years in their Oak Park home and tore up every photograph of the couple before she left the house. Why would she commit this terrible deed? What could compel her to carry out such a heinous crime? Simply put, she was jealous of the beautiful life her boss and his wife had together. Although many people deny it, envy is something that plagues almost everyone. Millions of people buy gossip magazines every day, gawking at the lifestyles of the rich and famous. This common emotion is usually not a problem when kept in check. Everyone is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner; however, when jealousy leads to treachery- or even worse, murder- it has the power to ruin lives. In the story Snow White originally collected by Jacob Grimm, the Queen’s jealousy of her stepdaughter, Snow White, is such a strong emotion that it consumes her every thought and action. The Queen’s all- consuming jealousy is the primary cause of her untimely death.

14. Remember, your Intro needs to have three key parts: 1)An INTERESTING Hook 2)A “Funnel” that connects to your hook/topic and moves from general understanding of your topic to more specific details as it relates to your argument. 3)Your Thesis Statement should flow from the end of your “funnel” section.